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Irritated by 'friends' at uni

I've started university this year- this will be my 2nd attempt at aiming to graduate. I started a degree a few years back and didn't finish it. Now, I'm starting a new degree, and maybe it's because the majority of the people on my course are younger, or maybe it's got little to do with age.... (I have met 18 year old I completely get on with)- but I find myself feeling pretty frustrated and bored with conversations.

It feels like I'm not developing true friendships- the same bland topics are talked about most days and people seem pretty fake.. out to impress and create an image as opposed to actually being themselves.

When I was talking to one girl at uni, I told her I'd like to travel and she replied 'oh you seem really into your 3rd world issues'.

What a generic reply.

I replied that I'm not into the 'rar rar rar.. I'm fighting for a cause.. but I don't know what it is'. I just want to travel and experience living around different cultures.

My first experience of uni a few years back was that there were many 'hip' freedom fighters who didn't particularly have a clue what they were shouting about. I had that in me too.. a few years on and I find that to be such fake-ass superficial bull****.

So what's happening now is that I feel torn between wanting to voice my opinions and alienate myself, and between just talking crap in order to 'agree' and not make others question their motives... they tag along.. and now I'm becoming a tag-along. Yuck.

This is getting me down. I feel like becoming completely antisocial so that I don't have to follow a group.. this whole group thing... it's not really me.

Is there actually a way to become politely distant? Is there some sort of balance that people achieve? I don't want to win the award of bitch of the year.

Man... I'm just bored of all this fakery.. it's irritating and I am becoming distant and grumpy! Distant is fine, but what the **** am I supposed to do about the grumpiness? Fake happiness bores me.

Reply 1

Poica

14

I'm assuming you're with girls...and that you're a girl who hates girls. I can't really tell, but that's what I've gathered.

Don't tag along - find a different group of people. They are out there, in societies and whatnot. You needn't pretend to be someone you're not just to make girly girls happy. There are plenty of grumpy bitches at Uni, you just haven't met them because they're pretending to be happy girls.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Poica

I'm assuming you're with girls...and that you're a girl who hates girls. I can't really tell, but that's what I've gathered.

Don't tag along - find a different group of people. They are out there, in societies and whatnot. You needn't pretend to be someone you're not just to make girly girls happy. There are plenty of grumpy bitches at Uni, you just haven't met them because they're pretending to be happy girls.

lyk omg loz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx etc

:wink:

Yes, I'm not the girliest of girls. Not quite a tomboy either - I'm just more than over 5 hour discussions on lipliner, stories of relationships with guys conducted over text message, and singing along to Avril Lavigne.

I'll try the whole joining socs thing.

When people ask you where you're going and you turn around and say, "gee.. in the other direction.... to hang with THEM"- it sounds much better if there's a reason like, "I met them at yoga/ hip-hop chess fusion / goat porn manga club".

Much better.

For a second there I forgot how big the world is. Uni does not = world.

I will slap my head for thinking it so.

Reply 3

Lara C.

3

i really hate that fakeness too, but i think i take it one step further as i even hate that typical 'hello, bye, how are you' type stuff. theres just no need for it, but people are just too ocustomed to it.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Dac_10

i really hate that fakeness too, but i think i take it one step further as i even hate that typical 'hello, bye, how are you' type stuff. theres just no need for it, but people are just too ocustomed to it.

Oh, I agree with you on this one. Most of the time these pleasantries bore me to death. Apparently it's nice.. to be nice.

How nice.

Reply 5

evil groove

Dac_10

i really hate that fakeness too, but i think i take it one step further as i even hate that typical 'hello, bye, how are you' type stuff. theres just no need for it, but people are just too ocustomed to it.

I once read in one of my A-level Psychology books (lol don't switch off yet please) that manners oil the cogs of society. This, I completely agree with. I mean, you wouldn't want our country turning into a type of America, would you, where people swear all the time at strangers and avoid eye contact. Stereotyping, I realise.

I'd say to the O.P., I understand where you're coming from. There are two extremes of people at uni, ones who are utterly fake and sickening. And the others who are completely self-superior and up their own bums. You are currently edging toward the latter. Take heed! You are almost a student-cliche yourself. :eek:

You do seem to realise this though. Cracking.

Another thing, I was having some polite but dull conversations this time last year with some of my peers but now 'cos of I don't know what ...we've settled down/chilled out a bit... we have more to talk about.

Try to develop your friendship with that 18 year old you liked. If you go out with them you'll probably end up meeting their mates and who knows, you'll probably like them as well (similar people?). Lastly...first year can be a bit crap due to the high expectations of uni society places within us.

Reply 6

geetar

16

You should read The Catcher in the Rye.

Reply 7

she

16

I'm the same and I find it really difficult to connect with other girls. Not only that so many guys are starting to get into things that women are into (like hair straighteners, ack), and it just puts me off wanting to talk to them cause they're just as shallow. I swear it's just a conspiracy to sell more products by getting the other half of the population interested in them. anyways... :p:

sorry if that's offensive to anyone...

Reply 8

MentalSarcasm

Join a society, I found more friends through my uni societies than I did in my course.

Irritated by 'friends' at uni

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