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i've been feeling down Watch

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    #1

    I’ve been feeling really down lately

    I don’t even know why its just so weird and everything makes me upset and sad

    Basically I was born abroad and today it’s 1 year since I moved to the UK which made me feel so emotional and stuff

    I’ve lost most of my friends in my home country, I feel like I annoy them when I tell them about UK and my life and my problems etc, they’re like ‘oh come on you live in England you are well off and probably have no problems at all’ so I don’t even talk to them anymore

    Then I made some friends here in the UK but had a huge fight with one girl and so I lost her and other friends I met because of her

    And I’m quite lonely and just spending all days at home alone

    I have other friends but they have work and loads of stuff going on and own friends etc. so I don’t really spend that much time with them

    My life is just so sad and empty now and I can’t do anything about it which makes me feel like **** cause there are only 3-4 people who I hang out with but they have their own lives as well so they can’t keep me company all the time

    And I’m very shy and I don’t open up to people so its not easy to make new friends as well so I just lie in bed all day
    And also I'm really scared about next year bc im starting uni and its just all new people and im scared I wont get along with anyone but also lose contact with my current friends bc we are all going to different places so dont think we will be seeing each other that much

    And today I just could feel all this emotions hitting me so hard that I needed to share it with someone, so sorry TSR but you’re my only choice

    I don’t really expect any advice, I just need to share my thoughts with someone I guess
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    Hey as someone that has moved to the UK too (I moved from Holland) I've been feeling pretty down too. When I left Holland I did cry leaving my friends behind and my school life. Adapting to the UK was really hard but I was able to make friends. Finishing Year 11, I'm at sixth form at a School none of my friends are at. I am pretty lonely but in the end I am able to contact them I suppose. It must be tough for you and that's understandable. I guess my advice for Uni would be to start meeting people that share similar interests to you and try to be more confident in yourself.
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    Good for you sharing your feelings Realising whats making you feel down is the first step to solving it. Now you have a target! I have lived in England all my life but when I started university I made more friends than I'd ever had before because you meet so many people in the same mindset! I would strongly recommend you move into halls and join a couple of clubs/societies to meet like-minded people. Some of my closest friends I met that way. Also see if you can find people on your course or in your accommodation online before you move in because getting to know someone online first makes it seem much less daunting when it comes to saying hello in real life!

    Hope that helps cheer you up a bit
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    Uni is great for societies and clubs. Try a few out and see if you click with any of the people. I wouldn't be too worried about it. If worse comes to worse there will always be the internet.
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    (Original post by Naruto_Uzumak1)
    Hey as someone that has moved to the UK too (I moved from Holland) I've been feeling pretty down too. When I left Holland I did cry leaving my friends behind and my school life. Adapting to the UK was really hard but I was able to make friends. Finishing Year 11, I'm at sixth form at a School none of my friends are at. I am pretty lonely but in the end I am able to contact them I suppose. It must be tough for you and that's understandable. I guess my advice for Uni would be to start meeting people that share similar interests to you and try to be more confident in yourself.
    Yeah I guess you're right and as a person who's gone through same things as me I'm pretty sure you can understand my point of view, but it's just so hard and also I have a kind of social anxiety (not just a fear but a proper mental disorder that makes it hard to be social). And it's just so hard, because I'd love to have loads and friends and have fun all the time but I can't, because I'm so scared of people and that they'll laugh at me and the worst thing is I feel like people don't like me that much so I don't even ask them out because I feel like they dont want to go with me, so it's kind of my fault that I'm cutting people off but I just can't help it

    And also even though I'd say my English is pretty good, when I'm nervous I get really quiet and people think it's because I dont speak english but truth is I'm just incredibly shy

    So yeah, I'm craving for attention and friends but at the same time im cutting them off and i cant help it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And it's just so hard, because I'd love to have loads and friends and have fun all the time but I can't, because I'm so scared of people and that they'll laugh at me and the worst thing is I feel like people don't like me that much so I don't even ask them out because I feel like they dont want to go with me, so it's kind of my fault that I'm cutting people off but I just can't help it
    Let me let you into a secret. 9/10 of people you meet are the same. Don't believe me? Type into google 'I have' and let the google finish the result. Go on, do it.

    Because the first result is 'I have no friends'. Cosmo, wikiHow, PsychologyToday, The Guardian, they are all talking about being lonely.

    But having read through your couple of posts in this thread, you're not friends with yourself so how would you expect people to be friends with you if even yourself can't do that?

    But don't worry because like I said, you're not alone in this. And that alone should give you comfort. You're fighting the same battle that people you walk by on the street, people you go to school with, people you are even family with.

    People have told you 'you just have to be more confident', and you've tried, haven't you? But it hasn't quite worked out yet. And the reason is because you haven't given yourself a break, you haven't made yourself your own best friend.

    The friends you used to have can't even begin to relate to your problems because they see a different reality to the one you are facing. You are scared of reaching out and you are scared of rejection. You're living in fear.

    The best news I'm going to give you is that it isn't always going to be like this because after you've read this post, you're going to stop playing the victim. You're going to take control. And you're going to take responsibility for your own happiness.

    So take a moment to really reflect on who you are - and be honest. Everyone is a bit selfish, everyone has a nasty streak to them, but really think about who you are and what you want to become. What does the person you're proud to be look like?

    And take action. Go to the hobby or class you've been putting off, get the gym subscription that you said you'd do next week. Do something that is going to add to your character. Whatever it is, make sure it makes you happy.

    Because ultimately, we can have everyone around us but it is only ourselves, that know our own reality. You've seen how your friends don't understand your situation. But you do, and I think you know what you need to do. Let go of people's judgement of you. If they laugh at you, so what? It comes out of envy - because no-one beats a dead puppy.

    Focus on yourself to be the best person you can, follow the ambition and dream that you had, zone out the world and don't let them distract. Add depth to your character with the hobbies and adventures you're going to pursue, become more charismatic through reading books on body language and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations like public speaking.

    And then watch how people will come to you like a moth to a flame. Because you'll be different, you'll be your own person. You'll be a person they want to spend time with, they'll want to know what makes you so happy and what keeps you pursuing your own goals. You'll soon have more friends than you bargained for.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by VeniViciVidi)
    Let me let you into a secret. 9/10 of people you meet are the same. Don't believe me? Type into google 'I have' and let the google finish the result. Go on, do it.

    Because the first result is 'I have no friends'. Cosmo, wikiHow, PsychologyToday, The Guardian, they are all talking about being lonely.

    But having read through your couple of posts in this thread, you don't like your friends with yourself so how would you expect people to be friends with you if even yourself can't do that?

    But don't worry because like I said, you're not alone in this. And that alone should give you comfort. You're fighting the same battle that people you walk by on the street, people you go to school with, people you are even family with.

    People have told you 'you just have to be more confident', and you've tried, haven't you? But it hasn't quite worked out yet. And the reason is because you haven't given yourself a break, you haven't made yourself your own best friend.

    The friends you used to have can't even begin to relate to your problems because they see a different reality to the one you are facing. You are scared of reaching out and you are scared of rejection. You're living in fear.

    The best news I'm going to give you is that it isn't always going to be like this because after you've read this post, you're going to stop playing the victim. You're going to take control. And you're going to take responsibility for your own happiness.

    So take a moment to really reflect on who you are - and be honest. Everyone is a bit selfish, everyone has a nasty streak to them, but really think about who you are and what you want to become. What does the person you're proud to be look like?

    And take action. Go to the hobby or class you've been putting off, get the gym subscription that you said you'd do next week. Do something that is going to add to your character. Whatever it is, make sure it makes you happy.

    Because ultimately, we can have everyone around us but it is only ourselves, that know our own reality. You've seen how your friends don't understand your situation. But you do, and I think you know what you need to do. Let go of people's judgement of you. If they laugh at you, so what? It comes out of envy - because no-one beats a dead puppy.

    Focus on yourself to be the best person you can, follow the ambition and dream that you had, zone out the world and don't let them distract. Add depth to your character with the hobbies and adventures you're going to pursue, become more charismatic through reading books on body language and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations like public speaking.

    And then watch people will come to you like a moth to a flame. Because you'll be different, you'll be your own person. You'll be a person want to spend time, they'll want to know what makes you so happy and what keeps you pursuing your own goals. You'll soon have more friends than you bargained for.
    Wow
    I don't know what to say.. besides thank you, I guess
    It really opened my eyes, it really did
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    To help with socialising, shyness and also read number 6:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them, compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!

    I'll be your friend If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me!
 
 
 
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Updated: May 19, 2017
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