How to hide depression?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
If you have it then hiding it is the last thing you need to do. Get help and start on the path to getting better. Hiding it gives it a home to live in and drags you down further. If you want to get better, then start seeking help or engaging in behaviours that will improve matters.

If you had broken your leg, then you wouldnt try and hide it.
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Kindred
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
Depression is a difficult thing to hide. It's best, if you can, not to hide it and to be honest that you have it, but don't want a big deal made of it. That way odd stuff that happens with depression is explained and people know that you are okay (as you can be) and don't want a fuss.
Obviously though you don't want to go round telling everybody about it. You might want to tell a select few people- family, good friends etc- so you have some people you can not have to hide things around and then with everybody else try to be as "normal" as possible.

I guess the most obvious stuff with depression is being unengaged in things or being noticeably down or apathetic. You can probably put on a facade or even actually engage for a while, but eventually it becomes too draining.
Sound about right? Best thing to do about that is give yourself time and space to yourself sometimes so you can recharge. Hiding takes a lot of energy so sometimes it's good to just say you're busy and take some me time. With some people you may want to say you're taking a mental health day, while for other you may want to make something up about homework or clearing the loft.

When you are with people, try your best to be engaged an to let yourself feel in that moment. Try to tell any nasty thoughts to bugger off for a while. This will have varying levels of success, but it's more about the sentiment than the result. It's reminding yourself that your depression is not part of you, just a nasty leech attached to you. Hopefully it'll also give you some space away from it now and then.

Only take on what you feel comfortable with. You don't have to explain yourself to people. If you know you aren't up to something, just don't do it. Make up some excuse or just say you're busy. Depression takes up a lot of energy so save it for what you want to use it on.

Find somebody who has your back. I eventually found some good friends who I felt comfortable opening up with. Having them know about my issues (even if not in much detail) was great cos if I wasn't up to something I didn't have to explain myself. It also meant they could have my back and if they knew I wasn't up to something with other people.
Depression is less of an issue for me now, but it's still a big help with a physical condition I have. A bit like with depression, it means sometimes I will be super tired or get snappy emotionally. My bf knows all about it so can back me up if I need it. Not up to a meal with family? He'll back me up and say he's busy or something and not nag me to go. I'm starting to get snappy with somebody? He'll help me find a way out of the situation so I can cool off.
If you can find a friend to open up to a bit you should have less hiding to do by yourself and they can help you out.

If you feel comfortable with this friend who is asking how you are, i'd open up a little. You don't have to say much or go into detail. Just say you're struggling a bit with depression. You could get them to look on mind.org or sane.org for some info if you like. Tell them you appreciate their concern, but don't want a big deal made so if you need support you can let them know, but otherwise can they try to act casual about it.
That way, no hiding needed. They know you will tell them if you need help and you know they won't bug you about it and make you feel awkward.


Of course, the absolute best way to deal with obvious depression though is to get rid of it. Obviously this isn't an easy task and will take time, but it's a very worthwhile thing to do. You can beat depression. If you aren't already, i suggest you go see your doctor about getting help. Things like therapy are big helps with depression (despite taking some time to get used to) and if you have a persistent case you can discuss medication (it's normally used as a short term thing to help you with recovery so don't worry about being stuck on it for life).


Hope that helps.
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Moonstruck16
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Smile.

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chelseadagg3r
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
You shouldn't have to hide it. The best way is just to get help. If it helps you feel better, then you won't need to hide anything. That doesn't mean everyone has to know, but getting some help really is the best option. Talking to a friend if you feel able, or a teacher, or your GP can really help. If you want to keep it separate from your relationships with people, then your GP is really good to talk to. It's nothing new to them, they see it all the time. They won't be surprised, or shocked, and won't judge. They are in the best place to help though
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Anonymous #2
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Hey, you shouldn't hide it, I know I can't take seeing as only 1 of my mates know I self harm and the rest think I'm fine but there are people out there who will lovebirds you no matter what and if you need any help or just someone to talk to im here's for you💓You're amazing an don't ever give up
(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
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o-glez
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Don't hide it! I tried to keep my depression secret, but it was pointless. My team leader in work noticed that I had become withdrawn, so I told her in a very emotional supervision that I was suffering. Then everyone in work was incredibly supportive. I immediately created a support network for myself. Earlier in the year, I told my friends, and again they were, and still are, an immense support network. Hiding it makes things worse. People understand mental health better than ever, so tell people and they'll understand
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username3099438
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Hiding it will probably make it worse
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Kallisto
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently my depression has become more obvious which is really bad for me. I used to be so good at hiding it but one friend asked if im alright. How do I hide it better?
I pretend it by speaking with people. It is simple, but very effective: when I am speaking with people about things which have nothing to do with my depression, I am distracted for a moment. And this distraction helps to hide the depression inside myself. But that don't changed the situation for better. Depression still remains. When it is hard to hide and to cope with it, I am talking to trustful people around me. As a rule they are helpful with their advices.
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Anonymous #3
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I don't know if I have depression​, but I certainly wouldn't tell MY friends about it if I did. Some already treat me differently as they know about my (albeit mild, so practically hidden) autism, and I wouldn't want that feeling to exacerbate with them, and the feeling I already get from them coming from the rest of my friends.
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Moonstruck16
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't know if I have depression​, but I certainly wouldn't tell MY friends about it if I did. Some already treat me differently as they know about my (albeit mild, so practically hidden) autism, and I wouldn't want that feeling to exacerbate with them, and the feeling I already get from them coming from the rest of my friends.
Your friends sound great 👍

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Kallisto
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't know if I have depression​, but I certainly wouldn't tell MY friends about it if I did. Some already treat me differently as they know about my (albeit mild, so practically hidden) autism, and I wouldn't want that feeling to exacerbate with them, and the feeling I already get from them coming from the rest of my friends.
You should appreciate it to know friends who are willing to talk about this special problem of yours. I appreciate it again and again when speaking about depression, and they also know that I have autism.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Kallisto)
You should appreciate it to know friends who are willing to talk about this special problem of yours. I appreciate it again and again when speaking about depression, and they also know that I have autism.
The thing is, I don't talk about it because I'm not comfortable with talking about it, and since I'm not comfortable with either my autism or my depression, I don't know if they're willing to talk about it. I think my lack of trust in them is why I feel this way, even though I've known most of them for over five years, and a few for fifteen, since the start of nursery. It's the same reason I don't talk about my sexuality either.
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Kallisto
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The thing is, I don't talk about it because I'm not comfortable with talking about it, and since I'm not comfortable with either my autism or my depression, I don't know if they're willing to talk about it. I think my lack of trust in them is why I feel this way, even though I've known most of them for over five years, and a few for fifteen, since the start of nursery. It's the same reason I don't talk about my sexuality either.
I personally talk about depression with trustful friends, if I can't stand this mental state anyloner. It is like a valve I open. It makes my mind clear for moments, till this feeling comes back again. A circle I can't break through, but diminish by talking.
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Rudders-ahrt
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Long sleeves hide the scars and headphones distract you and discourage people to talk to you. Most of all you just have to put on a big brave fake smile

Although the people saying dont hide it have an extremaly good point but their is a 90% chance you will ignore those comments becuase i know i would have when i felt that way. You should be grateful that your friend cares enough to notice, my advice is confide in him and tell him your issues (as long as you trust him to be private)
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