I feel like my dad is killing me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Since I was born, my mum and dad, and nana, had all smoked (heavily) around 40 a day. My nana and my mum quit about 8 years ago. Recently, my nana has been diagnosed with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). One of the risk factors for this disease is smoking, and this is more than likely the reason my nana got the disease.

My dad always smokes around me, except when my mum is here she makes him smoke outside, but my mum is away so often this doesn't really make a difference. When he smokes in the house, I move to another room or try to cover my face but because the windows aren't open the smoke lingers. I've heard secondhand smoke can be more dangerous than firsthand smoke.

I've explained to my dad that he could be causing me serious, permanent harm and he doesn't really seem bothered (or doesn't really believe it). I've spoken to him even about epigenetic tags that smoking can cause, and he's not interested. I've had problems with my breathing lately, he knows this - tells me not to go on runs because I might overexert myself, but still smokes around me constantly. And it's not like one every few hours, he is a heavy smoker.

Additionally, my grandad has recently had cancer - he's been treated and he's okay now, but this could suggest that his DNA already has mutations, making him more likely to get cancer again. Smoking is known to cause cancer, and still my dad smokes around him.

I really don't know what to do, basically, I feel f***ed over.
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RoyalSheepy
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Since I was born, my mum and dad, and nana, had all smoked (heavily) around 40 a day. My nana and my mum quit about 8 years ago. Recently, my nana has been diagnosed with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). One of the risk factors for this disease is smoking, and this is more than likely the reason my nana got the disease.

My dad always smokes around me, except when my mum is here she makes him smoke outside, but my mum is away so often this doesn't really make a difference. When he smokes in the house, I move to another room or try to cover my face but because the windows aren't open the smoke lingers. I've heard secondhand smoke can be more dangerous than firsthand smoke.

I've explained to my dad that he could be causing me serious, permanent harm and he doesn't really seem bothered (or doesn't really believe it). I've spoken to him even about epigenetic tags that smoking can cause, and he's not interested. I've had problems with my breathing lately, he knows this - tells me not to go on runs because I might overexert myself, but still smokes around me constantly. And it's not like one every few hours, he is a heavy smoker.

Additionally, my grandad has recently had cancer - he's been treated and he's okay now, but this could suggest that his DNA already has mutations, making him more likely to get cancer again. Smoking is known to cause cancer, and still my dad smokes around him.

I really don't know what to do, basically, I feel f***ed over.
You need to tell him to stop. Show him the causes of cigarettes, and just educate him on how bad it really is. Try and convince him to start smoking e-cigarettes instead, although I don't agree with any sort of smoking, they're a lot better than normal cigarettes.

This website should provide more help: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/smoking/Pages/Gethelp.aspx
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ddrrzzeerr
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#3
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#3
Nothing you can do other than lobby your mum. It's his house.

Second hand smoke isn't that dangerous. I think it is mostly just a myth used to try to encourage people to quit.

People directly suck in 40 cigs into their lungs everyday for years and survive. You will be just fine.

Everything is bad for you. Life is about balancing risks. It's probably no more bad for you than the exhaust fumes in the street.
1
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#4
(Original post by RoyalSheepy)
You need to tell him to stop. Show him the causes of cigarettes, and just educate him on how bad it really is. Try and convince him to start smoking e-cigarettes instead, although I don't agree with any sort of smoking, they're a lot better than normal cigarettes.

This website should provide more help: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/smoking/Pages/Gethelp.aspx
He's a clever man and he knows about the dangers, I've told him loads of stuff I've learnt from the internet and biology A Level, etc. He tried e-cigarettes before, but didn't like them. Years ago when my mum stopped smoking, they went to the GP to get help together, but I don't think he ever wanted to stop. He even says he wishes my mum still smoked.

He is addicted really really badly, eg when we go on holiday he gets horrible shakes and withdrawal symptoms when we're on the aeroplane. He doesn't like Nicorette gum or sprays. I think he just doesn't realise the dangers because they haven't hit home close enough. But they will, and I know they will. If he doesn't get a lung disease or cancer in the future, I'll be really really really surprised. Some things just don't seem real until they hit you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sternumator)
Nothing you can do other than lobby your mum. It's his house.

Second hand smoke isn't that dangerous. I think it is mostly just a myth used to try to encourage people to quit.

People directly suck in 40 cigs into their lungs everyday for years and survive. You will be just fine.

Everything is bad for you. Life is about balancing risks. It's probably no more bad for you than the exhaust fumes in the street.
"Nonsmokers who are exposed to secondhand smoke at home or at work increase their risk of developing lung cancer by 20–30%." not to mention my mum and dad smoked before I was born, increasing the risk that I could've been born with epigenetic tags from smoking, therefore increasing my risk of lung diseases.

I know it's not 100% certain that this will cause me to be very ill, but like I said I'm already experiencing breathing issues, I hate being in a room full of smoke, and it's just downright inconsiderate for a father to put his daughter in a situation like this. Even if the risks aren't extremely profound.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Sternumator)
Nothing you can do other than lobby your mum. It's his house.

Second hand smoke isn't that dangerous. I think it is mostly just a myth used to try to encourage people to quit.
Any particular sources for that?

(Original post by Sternumator)
People directly suck in 40 cigs into their lungs everyday for years and survive. You will be just fine.
It is never a certain thing, but smoking still vastly increases your risk of cancer. It's tremendously irresponsible to say that 'he will be just fine'.

(Original post by Sternumator)
Everything is bad for you. Life is about balancing risks. It's probably no more bad for you than the exhaust fumes in the street.
Smoking is more bad for you than most things, and this sort of risk is cumulative. The OP is being exposed both to smoking and to car exhaust. That car exhaust may or may not be worse is no excuse.
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Someone123123
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Since I was born, my mum and dad, and nana, had all smoked (heavily) around 40 a day. My nana and my mum quit about 8 years ago. Recently, my nana has been diagnosed with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). One of the risk factors for this disease is smoking, and this is more than likely the reason my nana got the disease.

My dad always smokes around me, except when my mum is here she makes him smoke outside, but my mum is away so often this doesn't really make a difference. When he smokes in the house, I move to another room or try to cover my face but because the windows aren't open the smoke lingers. I've heard secondhand smoke can be more dangerous than firsthand smoke.

I've explained to my dad that he could be causing me serious, permanent harm and he doesn't really seem bothered (or doesn't really believe it). I've spoken to him even about epigenetic tags that smoking can cause, and he's not interested. I've had problems with my breathing lately, he knows this - tells me not to go on runs because I might overexert myself, but still smokes around me constantly. And it's not like one every few hours, he is a heavy smoker.

Additionally, my grandad has recently had cancer - he's been treated and he's okay now, but this could suggest that his DNA already has mutations, making him more likely to get cancer again. Smoking is known to cause cancer, and still my dad smokes around him.

I really don't know what to do, basically, I feel f***ed over.
Tough circumstance. At the end of the day if he doesn't care you can't force him. The only thing I can suggest is leaving the house every time he starts smoking (going library or something?) and come back a few hours later, making it clear to him the reason you're leaving. That might evoke some sympathy in him, but no guarantees given what you've already told us! Best of luck.
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ddrrzzeerr
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
"Nonsmokers who are exposed to secondhand smoke at home or at work increase their risk of developing lung cancer by 20–30%." not to mention my mum and dad smoked before I was born, increasing the risk that I could've been born with epigenetic tags from smoking, therefore increasing my risk of lung diseases.

I know it's not 100% certain that this will cause me to be very ill, but like I said I'm already experiencing breathing issues, I hate being in a room full of smoke, and it's just downright inconsiderate for a father to put his daughter in a situation like this. Even if the risks aren't extremely profound.
Your chances of developing lung cancer as a young person are extremely low anyway so another 20-30% on that is nothing. You will move out in a few years and any damage done will be reversed.

Crossing the road increased your chance of being hit by a car by 1000% but we still do it.

You're overreacting. Everyone used to smoke in their houses and children weren't dying all over the place.

If you don't like it, buy your own house. He should be comfortable in his house and not spend his evenings sat out in the cold and rain. How about you sit outside instead?
0
999tigger
Badges: 19
#9
Report 3 years ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Since I was born, my mum and dad, and nana, had all smoked (heavily) around 40 a day. My nana and my mum quit about 8 years ago. Recently, my nana has been diagnosed with COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). One of the risk factors for this disease is smoking, and this is more than likely the reason my nana got the disease.

My dad always smokes around me, except when my mum is here she makes him smoke outside, but my mum is away so often this doesn't really make a difference. When he smokes in the house, I move to another room or try to cover my face but because the windows aren't open the smoke lingers. I've heard secondhand smoke can be more dangerous than firsthand smoke.

I've explained to my dad that he could be causing me serious, permanent harm and he doesn't really seem bothered (or doesn't really believe it). I've spoken to him even about epigenetic tags that smoking can cause, and he's not interested. I've had problems with my breathing lately, he knows this - tells me not to go on runs because I might overexert myself, but still smokes around me constantly. And it's not like one every few hours, he is a heavy smoker.

Additionally, my grandad has recently had cancer - he's been treated and he's okay now, but this could suggest that his DNA already has mutations, making him more likely to get cancer again. Smoking is known to cause cancer, and still my dad smokes around him.

I really don't know what to do, basically, I feel f***ed over.
Just be practical.
Get him into vaping, but otherwise if he comes in the room then leave it and live from your bedroom or stay out of the house a lot.

Windows open and get a couple of good fans.

It sounds like your dad doesnt care about the risk, so little point in having an argument, although you and your mum should have a united front.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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(Original post by Sternumator)
Your chances of developing lung cancer as a young person are extremely low anyway so another 20-30% on that is nothing. You will move out in a few years and any damage done will be reversed.

Crossing the road increased your chance of being hit by a car by 1000% but we still do it.

You're overreacting. Everyone used to smoke in their houses and children weren't dying all over the place.

If you don't like it, buy your own house. He should be comfortable in his house and not spend his evenings sat out in the cold and rain. How about you sit outside instead?
I dunno. You know if I had a child, I'd much rather sit outside in the cold and rain to smoke than expose my child to something that kills hundreds of thousands of people every year.
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Gerry-Atricks
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(Original post by Sternumator)
Your chances of developing lung cancer as a young person are extremely low anyway so another 20-30% on that is nothing. You will move out in a few years and any damage done will be reversed.

Crossing the road increased your chance of being hit by a car by 1000% but we still do it.

You're overreacting. Everyone used to smoke in their houses and children weren't dying all over the place.

If you don't like it, buy your own house. He should be comfortable in his house and not spend his evenings sat out in the cold and rain. How about you sit outside instead?
Are you joking or that stupid, 20-30% is absolutely colossal, you go from having a 1 in 100 chance at that age ( probably less than) to about a 3 in 10 chance of getting cancer, which depending on the severity, may be untreatable so could kill- second hand smoking is very dangerous and is particularly cruel because those punished by it are not those who are partaking in any dangerous activities and often, like the OP, know the damage that is being done to them but cant avoid it.
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ddrrzzeerr
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#12
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(Original post by glad-he-ate-her)
Are you joking or that stupid, 20-30% is absolutely colossal, you go from having a 1 in 100 chance at that age ( probably less than) to about a 3 in 10 chance of getting cancer, which depending on the severity, may be untreatable so could kill- second hand smoking is very dangerous and is particularly cruel because those punished by it are not those who are partaking in any dangerous activities and often, like the OP, know the damage that is being done to them but cant avoid it.
Its more like 1/1,000,000 to 1/800,000. ie it is very unlikely to happen either way.

You miss understand the numbers. Nowhere near 20-30% of people develop lung cancer.
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Gerry-Atricks
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(Original post by Sternumator)
Its more like 1/1,000,000 to 1/800,000. ie it is very unlikely to happen either way.

You miss understand the numbers. Nowhere near 20-30% of people develop lung cancer.
It is you who is misunderstanding.
Lung cancer risk is 82% higher in people whose sibling has/had lung cancer, and 25-37% higher in people whose parent has/had the disease, a meta-analysis showed.[1] The association is independent of smoking.[1]

This is independent of smoking, add on the extra 20-30% for second hand smoke then youre talking very probable lung cancer.

Quote from cancer research UK- substantiated by OP implying she may have a family history.

Second-hand smoke is particularly dangerous for children. Children exposed to passive smoke are at higher risk of respiratory infections, asthma, bacterial meningitis and cot death. Second-hand smoke has been linked to around 165,000 new cases of disease among children in the UK each year.
For children, the majority of exposure to second-hand smoke happens in the home. Smoke can spread throughout the home, even if you open the windows. Almost 85 percent of tobacco smoke is invisible and smoke particles might also build up on surfaces and clothes, although the impact of this is not yet clear. If you are a smoker, smoking outside can help reduce your child’s exposure.

In 2004, passive smoking is estimated to have caused an estimated 379,000 deaths from ischaemic heart disease, 165,000 from lower respiratory infections, 36,900 from asthma and 21,400 from lung cancer - around 1% of deaths worldwide.
More than 600,000 people, including 165,000 children, die every year from passive smoking, a report from World Health Organisation experts says

You are severely downplaying the damage passive smoking does and casting it aside when it is deadly.

Sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/...ths-who-report
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/heal...r/risk-factors
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/abou...assive-smoking
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jadorelamour
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Sternumator)
Your chances of developing lung cancer as a young person are extremely low anyway so another 20-30% on that is nothing. You will move out in a few years and any damage done will be reversed.

Crossing the road increased your chance of being hit by a car by 1000% but we still do it.

You're overreacting. Everyone used to smoke in their houses and children weren't dying all over the place.

If you don't like it, buy your own house. He should be comfortable in his house and not spend his evenings sat out in the cold and rain. How about you sit outside instead?
this is a highly ignorant thing to say. yes crossing the road increases your chance of being hit by a car by 1000%, but everyone does it. not everyone grows up surrounded for 18 years by heavy smokers.
The fact this persons dad continues to heavily smoke, understanding the large risks, suggests a huge lack of empathy on his part. While it is his house, this person is also his own child. Perhaps you haven't tried to imagine it, but if you yourself were knowingly heavily increasing your own childs risks of serious diseases and conditions - such as lung cancer, which could KILL them, I don't think you would be telling your kid they were overreacting,
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ANM775
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#15
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I have heard that each cigarette takes 11 minutes off your life...

don't know how much breathing it passively is taking, but you're right ...they are killing you
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Sofea_15
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#16
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I have asthma but my dad doesn't about itI have problems with breathing when someone smoke are me
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