Friends dont visit me at University

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LyndiBorthwick
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I started university last year and not one of my friends has made the effort to visit me. It is not particularly expensive or time consuming to travel to the uni. The only times my friends actually make the effort to see me is if i am home for the holidays. But, once i am back at uni for 3 months each time they dont bother. Whats worse is that my friend goes to my other friends university a few times a year but hasnt visited me once. Ive suggested it but has never taken up the offer. I dont particularly have many friends at uni, i only have one friend who i actually make plans with at uni. Now, my "friends" from home are making plans without me, i feel very forgotten and pushed aside. I see frequently on social media my friends being together at the other friends uni, its like they dont miss me at all. It's a shame because we were all so close but now they dont make any effort to see me.
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Anonymous #1
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**** 'em

make more friends at uni :hugs:
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username1842595
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Unfortunately people move on and make new friends and develop other priorities.

Try to make an effort to make new friends at university. I dont have friends either but I will be doing my best effort to make some at summer school and university.
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Potato456
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If you're friends are at home, it would probs be easier for you to see them there, when you visit family! I find it easier for my friend that's a few hours away to come home to see us and her family than for all of us trekking and paying to go up there tbh...friendship works both ways


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abc_123_
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(Original post by LyndiBorthwick)
I started university last year and not one of my friends has made the effort to visit me. It is not particularly expensive or time consuming to travel to the uni. The only times my friends actually make the effort to see me is if i am home for the holidays. But, once i am back at uni for 3 months each time they dont bother. Whats worse is that my friend goes to my other friends university a few times a year but hasnt visited me once. Ive suggested it but has never taken up the offer. I dont particularly have many friends at uni, i only have one friend who i actually make plans with at uni. Now, my "friends" from home are making plans without me, i feel very forgotten and pushed aside. I see frequently on social media my friends being together at the other friends uni, its like they dont miss me at all. It's a shame because we were all so close but now they dont make any effort to see me.
Talk to them about it … have you asked to go and visit them at their unis?
If you're really close then they shouldn't be avoiding you … I can't wait to visit my friends in uni (when we all start which is in 2018) xx
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LyndiBorthwick
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(Original post by abc_123_)
Talk to them about it … have you asked to go and visit them at their unis?
If you're really close then they shouldn't be avoiding you … I can't wait to visit my friends in uni (when we all start which is in 2018) xx
I've suggested it to them, but they always claim to be busy but their social media says otherwise and i always see them visiting other friends at their uni's. These girls get very defensive, they would turn it into a massive argument that would last forever.
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LyndiBorthwick
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(Original post by LyndiBorthwick)
I've suggested it to them, but they always claim to be busy but their social media says otherwise and i always see them visiting other friends at their uni's. These girls get very defensive, they would turn it into a massive argument that would last forever.
Also, its the other way around. They dont visit me. I cant very well visit other friends uni when i need to be at my own university during term time.
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Mr T 999
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:rip:
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gapyearlads
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(Original post by LyndiBorthwick)
I've suggested it to them, but they always claim to be busy but their social media says otherwise and i always see them visiting other friends at their uni's. These girls get very defensive, they would turn it into a massive argument that would last forever.
You should make plans to meet up with them maybe altogether once a year or something for like a week or so? Go out somewhere together on holiday

They probably (may sound harsh) but want more space as they have other friends now. But it would be good to keep in touch so I suggest that. Because you don't want to come across like you don't care or like you care about them too much.

It will take time but make friends at uni too. Just be close with your current friend and maybe meet more people through him or people on your course


Hope that helps
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gapyearlads
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(Original post by Fermion.)
Unfortunately people move on and make new friends and develop other priorities.

Try to make an effort to make new friends at university. I dont have friends either but I will be doing my best effort to make some at summer school and university.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKTU4AarZ7A
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LyndiBorthwick
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(Original post by gapyearlads)
You should make plans to meet up with them maybe altogether once a year or something for like a week or so? Go out somewhere together on holiday

They probably (may sound harsh) but want more space as they have other friends now. But it would be good to keep in touch so I suggest that. Because you don't want to come across like you don't care or like you care about them too much.

It will take time but make friends at uni too. Just be close with your current friend and maybe meet more people through him or people on your course


Hope that helps
It definitely not a space issue. we occassionally keep in touch every now and then. I have friends on my course but none who i can hang out due to not having much in common.
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username1842595
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Hahahahahah awwwww you wee cutie Jeff make me smile as always!!!
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gapyearlads
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(Original post by LyndiBorthwick)
It definitely not a space issue. we occassionally keep in touch every now and then. I have friends on my course but none who i can hang out due to not having much in common.
Not having much in common is probably the best part! It means you can have a friendly chat or debate (as weird as that might sound). In my case it tends to be about football.

I hold quite different views so it makes a fun argument hahahaha. Otherwise you would just end up saying "yeah" and keep walking in silence.

So I think that's good that you keep in touch. Maybe reccommend like I said to meet up at the end of each uni year or something for a week off or whatever you want. They clearly sound like they don't want to visit you especially since they do it to others. It's sad to hear but hopefully it sorts itself!

Maybe you visit them? Do something with them at home? I get the impression they may think you are a bit too clingy ygm?
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gapyearlads
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(Original post by Fermion.)
Hahahahahah awwwww you wee cutie Jeff make me smile as always!!!
Just doing ma job
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username1842595
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(Original post by gapyearlads)
Just doing ma job
When you gonna "bolt down the motorway" to see me then aye????
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Helloworld_95
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Which uni do you go to?

When it comes to visiting people at uni a large part of it is going somewhere where there's more stuff going on, so if you're at e.g. Durham, Warwick, WInchester, etc then people are going to be strongly put off going.
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Moura
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tbh I do't know many people who have their friends from home visit them frequently! Everyone has their own lives going on! If people are working or have uni all week the last thing they want to do is spend the weekend travelling. They'll want to spend it at home wih their family or local friends. I think over all my time at uni for me and my friends the average is home friends visiting like once or twice... over 3-4 years!! and some of my friends only moved an hour away from home! you'll see them when you go home...
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gapyearlads
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(Original post by Fermion.)
When you gonna "bolt down the motorway" to see me then aye????
When I become a department leader! Better yet, store owner sounds good too


Or I could stop with a car full of lads when we on the way down to manchester to see the footy? I think one step at a time though ahahhaahaaha
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username1842595
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(Original post by gapyearlads)
When I become a department leader! Better yet, store owner sounds good too


Or I could stop with a car full of lads when we on the way down to manchester to see the footy? I think one step at a time though ahahhaahaaha
Ermmmm naaaaa if you're gonna stop at Edinburgh just bring yourself the now not ur lads they'll prob take the piss and make weird noises in the background hahahaha :rofl:

Well hurry up then up ur game so u can buy a banging car and come see me!!! Bolt down the motorway
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Anonymous #2
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If theyre making effort to see each other and not you then **** them, who needs friends like that?
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