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How do you get over infatuation?

How do you get over someone you once loved or more correctly infatuated very much in the past and for a long period of time but they have no interest in you so any thoughts you have are all empty.

Is the only solution to have a real relationship with someone else? Because being lonely just fuels this empty and lost fire.

Reply 1

Carl

14

Spend time away from them? I became infatuated with the girl I lived with over the summer; we spent every minute together, but now she's gone back to France and I'm spending more time with other girls, not being with her (in the sense of being in a relationship, as well as physically being there) is much easier. Don't get me wrong, I still think she's ace and I'm going to see her in a few weeks, but if you spend time with other people, gradually you think less and less about the person you are infatuated with.

Good luck!

Reply 2

joe456

1. Get her out of your system; think everything through, listen to some sad music :wink:

... whatever, just let it all out.
2. Go out with a load of your friends, or even just your friends friends.
3. Keep busy.
4. Find someone new. :smile:

Good luck.

Reply 3

jenna_is_ace

9

Avoid seeing them. This always works for me. Slowly over time if I don't see them around, or block them from online stuff, so I don't get tempted to chat/message check their profile.

My interest in them starts to wain then.
Keep yourself busy too with things, going out/work/uni etc. You'll find you're not thinking about them when you're busy.

Reply 4

pink_lucie

14

ignore them, delete their numbers, msn, email etc boom 2/3 monhts later your done

Reply 5

Mikemaria

Germi

How do you get over someone you once loved or more correctly infatuated very much in the past and for a long period of time but they have no interest in you so any thoughts you have are all empty.

Is the only solution to have a real relationship with someone else? Because being lonely just fuels this empty and lost fire.

I can relate to exactly what you mean, the only way is to try not let the infation start in the first place, I suppose you could almost call it a fantasy world , it is unsanctioned and unreal , but I accept that you say the feelings were intense. As for getting over it , this takes time as well and maybe you will always remember this person. The problem is you will probably only remember the good points about them and the fact that you didnt have a relationship with them , you never saw the other side of that person. Nobody is perfect ,Im sure that there are attributes of this person that you wouldnt have liked had you been in a relationship with them

Reply 6

Joric

Germi

How do you get over someone you once loved or more correctly infatuated very much in the past and for a long period of time but they have no interest in you so any thoughts you have are all empty.

Is the only solution to have a real relationship with someone else? Because being lonely just fuels this empty and lost fire.

Fall in love with someone else ASAP.

Reply 7

Germi

OP

Joric

Fall in love with someone else ASAP.

That's what I think too but there is always the trouble of falling in love with the wrong person? Because you will be rushed and the reason that you love the other person may not be because of them but because of getting rid of this person you are infatuated with.

Reply 8

Germi

OP

I also had that person's name as my password to many things. Must change that quick. That could have fueled this infatuation.

Reply 9

qubog

12

Er well I would say don't just go out with someone else for the sake of it. Like others said, just keep a clear distance as hard as it may be. Though IMO this can be really difficult, like telling a smoker to just avoid cigarettes and hey it'll all be ok. True, but hard. They should invent patches to help people give up their infatuations

Reply 10

mikeski

3

I've asked myself this question quite a lot of times. :rolleyes:

Reply 11

Francophobia

1

I was still very much in love with my ex for three or four months after we split up -- the only way I could deal with it was by deactivating my Facebook account, changing my phone number, blocking his uni and personal email addresses on my Hotmail account, and then getting on with life.
The fact that I know this guy's wife always reads his texts and emails makes not contacting him that much easier :wink:

Reply 12

mangomaz

14

I would say its just a matter of time. Could even take a couple of years.

Reply 13

Fluent in Lies

2

time

Reply 14

BigScouser

Tough one this and I can relate to it. The thing is though that he/she will have moved on and it's hard when you're left behind still thinking about them. Keep yourself busy with whatever you can. Go out as much as possible and try forgetting about them. Not easy (trust me it really isn't) but over time you will get over it. Been about a year since I got dumped and I still think about her, see her around and there's been no contact at all between us.

I emailed her on several occasions in a bid to try and tell her about my feelings for her but I got no reply so I cut me losses on that one.I resigned myself to the fact that nothing's going to ever happen between us again but it does hurt like hell. Go out and who knows you might find someone else just as special if not more but you have to want to get through it.

Takes time mate but keep yer head up. That's what I'm doing at the moment and so far so good. Still getting over it now but as soon as I meet the right person that'll be it. She'll be a distant memory.

Take care kid.

Reply 15

matt@internet

12

It just goes over time.

Reply 16

totalfussball

I always needed closure. As in knowing that there was no chance that we'd ever be together and then I sort of just got over it.

Reply 17

username68316

3

Time, space & taking your mind off them by moving on and finding others. It might seem like an empty approach, but it's seriously the only way - and you soon move on easily enough, and start enjoying the future.

Reply 18

Germi

OP

The thing is I was infatuated with this girl since I was 10 but have never spoken to her. See my old thread http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9235749#post9235749 which describes the situation somewhat. I can't seem to do much without her and get depressed thinking about her which happens everyday. The fact I haven't spoken to her means I don't know any bad things about her which makes her seem high up there.

There is another girl that seems to be a good person and likes me but the only trouble is she is not the prettiest girl around apart from that everything seems good about her. Should I have a go at her since that will help me get over this infatuation.

Reply 19

BigScouser

Germi, send you a PM before. Hope it helped.

How do you get over infatuation?

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