someone give my romeo and juliet essay a mark? Watch

partygoose123
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The question is how far is capulet presented as a good father in the extract and the play as a whole...
I'm typing this up very fast so just ignore SPAG

Romeo and juliet is a play written by shakespare in the elizabethen era. during the play we see a dramatic change in what Capulet is like as a father. He goes from being respectful and caring to an unadmirable selfish and controlling father.

in this extract shakespaeare uses personifcation which emphasises how important juliet is too capulet. capulet says ' the earth hath swalled all my hopes but she' this informs the audience that juliet is his only daughter because the earth hath 'swallowed' all his other hopes (which suggests his other children have died). This gives the impression that capulet must care for juliet because she is his only child. This point is further emphasised when capulet says 'she is the hopeful lady of my earth' a modern audience could interpret this as capulet saying that juliet means the world to him, which makes it clear he loves her deeply, implying he must be a good father.

shakespeare creates the impression that capulet is a considerate father. capulet says 'my will to her consent is but a part' this suggests he is allowing juliet to have her own say in marrying paris and not just forcing her into it. arranged marriages were very common in the elizabethan era, and children often didnt get a choice in who they married. An elibathen audience would have been suprised that caupluet was allowed juliet to pratically choose if she marred him or not. we are also shown capulets consideration towards juliet when he says 'she hath not yet seen the change of fourteen years' this shows he thins juliets is still too young to be married as she isnt yet 'gourteen' and encapulates that capulet is not just thinking about what he wants, but what is best for his daughter juliet.- all this points add to the idea that capulet is a good father

in the extract shakespeare also uses rhyme when capulet is talking about juliet which helps to show how he admires her. he uses the rhyming couplets like 'pride' and 'bride' this creates a gentle flow of speech and shows how capulet can talk about his daughter with ease which suggests his admiration and love for her.

shakespeare included the scene in the exposition of the play, when the tension is at its lowest and the characters are first introduced. due to the scene being set before most of the action in the play begins, it has a more light-hearted atmosphere. This is the first part of the play in which the focus is centred mainly on capulet an when is personality first begins to unfold, this means that the audience haven't yet seen that capulet has a more harsh and unloving fatherly side to him and forced to agree that he is a good father.


its not finished but if i was to carry on the same, and mention the rest of the pla what level would this be?
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rebeccahurstt
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well you've kind of written 3 paragraghs about how language is used (except a bit of form about rhyme), so although that good, to get in the higher band you need to probs do one paragraph on language, one on form and one on structure. So i'd say your answer is band 4+/5 (grade 6/7) so far because you have added in context and stuff which is good but lack of form, structure and alternate interpretations. Also you haven't really linked your points in a structured argument its kinda random so that could be improved.
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Popsiclez
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Its a really common answer its just all about language then a short snippet on form it doesn't link together very well the paragraphs should feel like there part of an essay not isolated.
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partygoose123
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(Original post by rebeccahurstt)
well you've kind of written 3 paragraghs about how language is used (except a bit of form about rhyme), so although that good, to get in the higher band you need to probs do one paragraph on language, one on form and one on structure. So i'd say your answer is band 4+/5 (grade 6/7) so far because you have added in context and stuff which is good but lack of form, structure and alternate interpretations. Also you haven't really linked your points in a structured argument its kinda random so that could be improved.
okay thank you, what is alternate interpretations?
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partygoose123
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(Original post by Popsiclez)
Its a really common answer its just all about language then a short snippet on form it doesn't link together very well the paragraphs should feel like there part of an essay not isolated.
How do i make my paras less isolated??
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rebeccahurstt
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(Original post by partygoose123)
how would i do allternate interpretations??
So you'd say your point (One interpretation of this is ...) then after the point you'd say 'alternately this could be viewed differently due to..' or something like that. just basically give two perspectives of your point because in reality we don't actually know what Shakespeare intended so giving two interpretations shows that you've clocked that theres no right answer and different audiences would think differently about the same idea.
For example for a question about juilets relationship with the nurse, if your point was that the nurse had a betrayal relationship with Juilet and you'd analysed quotes where she sides with lord and lady capulet, you could then say alternately her actions of betrayal could actually be seen as loving as she may of realized her mistake in helping juilet marry against the law and by 'betraying' her, she is trying to amend her mistake and protect juilets future. so basically for that point yes nurse betrayed and hurt juilet so thats a bad relationship but she could of been doing in best intention for juilet, showing that they have a strong relationship as the nurse is willing to risk in order to help juilet. depends on how you look at it.

basically alternate interpretations is just something to add in for like grade 8/9, i wouldn't worry about too much or go on about to much but it depends what grade your aiming for.
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partygoose123
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(Original post by rebeccahurstt)
So you'd say your point (One interpretation of this is ...) then after the point you'd say 'alternately this could be viewed differently due to..' or something like that. just basically give two perspectives of your point because in reality we don't actually know what Shakespeare intended so giving two interpretations shows that you've clocked that theres no right answer and different audiences would think differently about the same idea.
For example for a question about juilets relationship with the nurse, if your point was that the nurse had a betrayal relationship with Juilet and you'd analysed quotes where she sides with lord and lady capulet, you could then say alternately her actions of betrayal could actually be seen as loving as she may of realized her mistake in helping juilet marry against the law and by 'betraying' her, she is trying to amend her mistake and protect juilets future. so basically for that point yes nurse betrayed and hurt juilet so thats a bad relationship but she could of been doing in best intention for juilet, showing that they have a strong relationship as the nurse is willing to risk in order to help juilet. depends on how you look at it.

basically alternate interpretations is just something to add in for like grade 8/9, i wouldn't worry about too much or go on about to much but it depends what grade your aiming for.
This is so helpful thank you so much! would doing this get my a higher mark? and is it equal important as language structure and form?
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Tootles
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(Original post by partygoose123)
The question is how far is capulet presented as a good father in the extract and the play as a whole...
I'm typing this up very fast so just ignore SPAG

Romeo and juliet is a play written by shakespare in the elizabethen era. during the play we see a dramatic change in what Capulet is like as a father. He goes from being respectful and caring to an unadmirable selfish and controlling father.

in this extract shakespaeare uses personifcation which emphasises how important juliet is too capulet. capulet says ' the earth hath swalled all my hopes but she' this informs the audience that juliet is his only daughter becaause the earth hath 'swalllowed' all his other hopes (which suggests his other children have died). This gives the impression that capulet must care for juliet because she is his only child. This point is further emphasised when capulet says 'she is the hopeful lady of my earth' a modern audience could interpret this as capulet saying that juliet means the world to him, which makes it clear he loves her deeply, implying he must be a good father.

shakespeare creates the impression that capulet is a considerate father. capulet says 'my will to her consent is but a part' this suggests he is allowing juliet to have her own say in marrying paris and not just forcing her into it. arranged marriages were very common in the elizabethan era, and children often didnt get a choice in who they married. An elibathen audience would have been suprised that caupluet was allowed juliet to pratically choose if she marred him or not. we are also shown capulets consideration towards juliet when he says 'she hath not yet seen the change of fourteen years' this shows he thins juliets is still too young to be married as she isnt yet 'gourteen' and encapulates that capulet is not just thinking about what he wants, but what is best for his daughter juliet.- all this points add to the idea that capulet is a good father

in the extract shakespeare also uses rhyme when capulet is talking about juliet which helps to show how he admires her. he uses the rhyming couplets like 'pride' and 'bride' this creates a gentle flow of speech and shows how capulet can talk about his daughter with ease which suggests his admiration and love for her.

its not finished but if i was to carry on the same, and mention the rest of the play, what level would this be?
No, won't ignore "SPAG." You don't type an essay in a few minutes and then say that, you learn to integrate spelling/grammar into your typing.

Anyway looks like no effort anyway. It's not even an essay - it's little more than a blurb.
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rebeccahurstt
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(Original post by partygoose123)
This is so helpful thank you so much! would doing this get my a higher mark? and is it equal important as language structure and form?
i quote band 6 (level 8/9) in the mark scheme:
'convincing exploration of one or more ideas/perspectives/contextual factors/intereprations'.

So you if you don't do it will be hard to even get in the top band.

And no it's not as important as language, form and structure. You should have one point for each of these things but I would advice to inter-grain at least one sentence an alternate perspective, one sentence on the effect on the reader and a sentence of context. For the top band you should be able to have these insightful things as well as apply them to your analysis.

Also I'd advice you google Fretags pyramid and include it in your paragraphs about structure of romeo and juilet because its a very advanced way of looking at the structure and shows you've conducted research.
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username3024116
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sorry, but there is no need for you to be so rude about it !!
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rebeccahurstt
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(Original post by partygoose123)
How do i make my paras less isolated??
you make every point you make link together in one over-branching point (which you explain in the introduction)
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partygoose123
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(Original post by Tootles)
No, won't ignore "SPAG." You don't type an essay in a few minutes and then say that, you learn to integrate spelling/grammar into your typing.

Anyway looks like no effort anyway. It's not even an essay - it's little more than a blurb.
it was effort for me, not everyone is good at english no need to be rude :/
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Tootles
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(Original post by partygoose123)
it was effort for me, not everyone is good at english no need to be rude :/
I'm saying exactly what and self-respecting teacher would say.
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partygoose123
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(Original post by rebeccahurstt)
well you've kind of written 3 paragraghs about how language is used (except a bit of form about rhyme), so although that good, to get in the higher band you need to probs do one paragraph on language, one on form and one on structure. So i'd say your answer is band 4+/5 (grade 6/7) so far because you have added in context and stuff which is good but lack of form, structure and alternate interpretations. Also you haven't really linked your points in a structured argument its kinda random so that could be improved.
i've added an extra paragraph about structure, is that the sort of thing I would have to write?
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rebeccahurstt
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(Original post by partygoose123)
i've added an extra paragraph about structure, is that the sort of thing I would have to write?
yes that fabulous!! really good that you used the exposition and why Shakespeare placed that event in the exposition!! Now just remember to add a paragraph like that in tomorrow! Although could try to expand a bit more in detail and try to add in somes quotes that could be foreshadowing or show that he transitions during the pyramid of events. For example why capulets true colours are shown after the climax and how this adds to the play, like why capulet turning on his daughter contributes when he could of kept him the same with no character development throughout the pyramid.
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partygoose123
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(Original post by Tootles)
I'm saying exactly what and self-respecting teacher would say.
A teacher knows what level their student is working at and my teacher would know this is a good start coming from me, not everyone on here is clever
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Tootles
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(Original post by partygoose123)
A teacher knows what level their student is working at and my teacher would know this is a good start coming from me, not everyone on here is clever
Get the rest done then.
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reubm01
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(Original post by rebeccahurstt)
i quote band 6 (level 8/9) in the mark scheme:
'convincing exploration of one or more ideas/perspectives/contextual factors/intereprations'.

Also I'd advice you google Fretags pyramid and include it in your paragraphs about structure of romeo and juilet because its a very advanced way of looking at the structure and shows you've conducted research.

Aside Freytag's pyramid also look at Aristotelian tragedies and their structure.
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AdamCee
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(Original post by Tootles)
No, won't ignore "SPAG." You don't type an essay in a few minutes and then say that, you learn to integrate spelling/grammar into your typing.

Anyway looks like no effort anyway. It's not even an essay - it's little more than a blurb.
Cor you didn't hold back there did you lol


What Tootles is saying is true though - no matter how fast you churned out that essay, in the actual exam under time pressure I would imagine you will be writing just as fast so you might as well try and practice SPAG as much as you can while writing fast.

Without knowing the exam board you're on or the weightings of the AOs for the question it's difficult to give it a band. Do you know how the assessment objectives are weighed? From my experience with English A Level that is pretty much the most critical point an essay, knowing what the examiner wants.

If your essay is high on language analysis, try and follow a structured approach in how you analyse it. So take your standard PEE, make a point, select a quotation, but then have a checklist in your head. Firstly, what is the quotation implying? Why did Shakespeare include it? What effect does this have on the reader? Then if there are any literary devices, pick them out. What effect does that have? After that, are there any key words that stand out? Isolate them and explain them.

You are using context about the Elizabethan era so I am assuming that is a marked part of your essay. Make sure you compare and contrast the effect a quotation would have on the audience at the time, compared to an audience now. For example you mention that arranged marriage was commonplace, so an Elizabethan audience would be surprised she had the choice. Would an audience today still be surprised?

If your essay is looking for alternative interpretations, try and look at other ways of reading the text. This could be from something ambiguous Shakespeare says. I didn't study Romeo and Juliet so I can't give any examples, but the classic one in Hamlet is "to be or not to be". It could be argued Hamlet is contemplating suicide, or it could be argued he is questioning whether he should kill Claudius. I know that's irrelevant to what you're studying, but you see what I mean. For top marks if you need alternative interpretations, you could look at how different groups interpret it. For example a feminist may think this, however an Elizabethan audience may think this.

The key part though is understanding the assessment objectives. I have 3 questions on my A2 paper that has absolutely 0 marks for analysing language - I could write the best, most detailed analysis ever but I would get nothing for it. Make sure you understand it!!
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