What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

New School Blues

Please leave as anonymous.

I recently moved back to the UK from abroad and have found the transition to my new school very difficult.

I'm at sixth form now and there are only 4 other girls in my year and about 200 boys. At first, I think I handled the situation well because it seemed temporary (it sounds stupid, but I hadn't fully accepted that I was going to be at the school and part of me still thought i'd be returning 'home') but when it all started sinking in I guess I started to feel scared and shy. I've never been that confident around boys and my self esteem is quite low. I try and be as friendly as possible and disguise my unhappiness but sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say. I want everyone to know I'm a nice, friendly person but I feel like it's taking ages for my personality to come out and now that it's half term break I feel like people will have already judged me as being unfriendly rather than shy.

I'm quite sensitive but I try not to take things that people say too seriously. Recently there's been a silly 'lesbian' rumour at school and I've had stupid boys in younger years yelling it at me and at first I thought it was funny (simply because it was stupid and unjustified) but now it's getting embarrassing and I don't want people to believe it (Please note I have nothing against homosexuality.) I just feel like I can't cope with people making things up. I don't have links with any other people as I've moved country so people really don't know me at all. I'm not used to a great amount of attention and I don't know that I handle it well.

One of the biggest pressures at school has probably been the need to look good all the time. I scrutinise my appearance because I feel like I need to impress 'the lads' everyday. I also find it difficult to eat infront of them- I feel self conscious about it but I know it's a habit I need to kick. I've spent more time at the beginning of this year worrying about all this than any of my work which isn't too good. I analyse many of my social interactions- I just want everyone to like me.

Sorry for the length of the post! I'm wondering if people can advise me on how to act more confident (even if I'm not!) and possibly how to spark off interesting conversations. I'd love to be more outgoing and now so shy and reserved. Any help/advice or comments are appreciated. Thank you. :smile: