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Cousin just had baby but shes gone neurotic

She had a c section last week and the baby was born at 37 weeks at 5pounds 6. The baby has got like 2 strands of hair either side but is bald everywhere else lol Thing is instead of being cheerful shes reading research :confused:

I don't think she has that - after pregnancy depression thing but Ive seen her almost everyday and the baby seems fine but she says that babies born small tend to have high blood pressure when they get older. She doesn't smoke or drink, found it hard to eat during pregnancy so that might be why shes worried. I said that she is not low birth weight but she says she is :confused:

Is 5 pounds 6 unhealthier than most? The baby has been on formula since she was born as she really really doesn't like the idea of breastfeeding which is supposed to help but shes more worried about her birth weight. Seriously she has not smiled once since she gave birth!! (from what Ive seen)

What can I say to her? The midwife says everything is fine but my cousin is worried about her not growing up as healthy as most babies?

Is she being resonable, what do you think? Am I missing something or does the baby have as much chance of being unhealthy as any other baby?

Reply 1

20083

2

You're missing the fact that you need to stop worrying about this (that's her job), and just be there for her. The more you analyse it, the more she feels that she is correct to worry.

Reply 2

saturn

OP

I don't analyse in front of her all Ive told her is the baby will be fine.

Reply 3

Sunofnight

3

Bit off topic but is there anyway to get your arteries checked? Like for thickness, elasticity or whatever? How do you know if your arteries are unhealthier than most peoples?
Just I was low birth weight probably because my mother smoked.

Anyway just tell your sister the positive side of things, that at least the baby didn't have to go in an incubator etc (if she didn't)

Reply 4

Jennybean

13

Most first time mothers go a bit potty tbh. She'll almost certainly look back and laugh a lot in years to come. The best thing you can do for her right now is tell her that breastfeeding will help Baby to grow, and that it is immeasurably the best thing she can do to give Baby the best start in life. It'll also help her to bond with Baby, which will make her feel much more in control and help her enjoy the experience of motherhood. Has she got a partner to give her support?

Reply 5

20083

2

saturn

I don't analyse in front of her all Ive told her is the baby will be fine.

But she will still get it from you. If this is how you feel, you won't be able to hide it.

Reply 6

saturn

OP

Its too late for her to breastfeed plus I think she hates the thought so the baby would pick up on this right? It should get all it needs from what its being fed shes just freaking out about the birth weight.

Reply 7

Sunofnight

3

Jennybean

Most first time mothers go a bit potty tbh. She'll almost certainly look back and laugh a lot in years to come. The best thing you can do for her right now is tell her that breastfeeding will help Baby to grow, and that it is immeasurably the best thing she can do to give Baby the best start in life. It'll also help her to bond with Baby, which will make her feel much more in control and help her enjoy the experience of motherhood. Has she got a partner to give her support?

There are a lot more important things than breastfeeding she could do to give it the best start in life. Not worrying for one, I think its more important that a mother is happy, doesn't smoke and is giving plenty of contact to the baby.

Reply 8

20083

2

Sunofnight

There are a lot more important things than breastfeeding she could do to give it the best start in life. Not worrying for one, I think its more important that a mother is happy, doesn't smoke and is giving plenty of contact to the baby.

How on earth does the mother not smoking help the baby? Are you one o those freaks that think things like a broken leg are down to smoking???

Reply 9

avalanche

If she isn't breast feeding then the child will in later life have higher blood pressure than it should, higher risk of allergies, heart disease.. multiple sclerosis, osteoporosis, cancer, diabetes, clogged arteries, depression, anxiety, asthma, poorer vision, lower IQ, poor jawline, poorer social and cognitive development, not be as athletic... than if breast fed.

but development in the womb is more important than all this so its knackered anyway.

Reply 10

Sunofnight

3

Nessyfencer

How on earth does the mother not smoking help the baby? Are you one o those freaks that think things like a broken leg are down to smoking???

Look it up.

Reply 11

alio~

9

My mum smoked when pregnant and Ive not exactly suffered lol

Reply 12

Jennybean

13

Sunofnight

There are a lot more important things than breastfeeding she could do to give it the best start in life. Not worrying for one, I think its more important that a mother is happy, doesn't smoke and is giving plenty of contact to the baby.

Not really...it will have little effect on the baby if the mother is stressed, babies are fairly oblivious to that kind of thing, and if the mother wanted to smoke then that wouldn't affect the baby at all provided she never allowed the baby to come into contact with the smoke. Breastfeeding will give the baby the exact balance of nutrients it needs, provide passive immunity from many pathogens and has long-ranging health benefits that aren't fully understood even now. New research is finding links between bottle-feeding and all kinds of problems later in life. And as I said before, it will help the two to bond, which will ease the mother's stress. Positive feedback. OP it shouldn't be too late to start breastfeeding, Mum will still be producing prolactin and the baby nursing should stimulate milk production.

Reply 13

alio~

9

Jennybean

Not really...it will have little effect on the baby if the mother is stressed, babies are fairly oblivious to that kind of thing, and if the mother wanted to smoke then that wouldn't affect the baby at all provided she never allowed the baby to come into contact with the smoke. Breastfeeding will give the baby the exact balance of nutrients it needs, provide passive immunity from many pathogens and has long-ranging health benefits that aren't fully understood even now. New research is finding links between bottle-feeding and all kinds of problems later in life.

Not as many problems as the result of smoking on later life. Are you saying I have a right to be annoyed at my mother for not breastfeeding lol?

Reply 14

Jennybean

13

alio~

Not as many problems as the result of smoking on later life. Are you saying I have a right to be annoyed at my mother for not breastfeeding lol?

Kind of...!

I know my own mother wishes she'd had the support to encourage her not to give up with me. She felt pressured into starting bottle feeding cos I was losing so much weight. It's up to you how you feel about the fact that your mum didn't breastfeed you. I'm not really sure what you mean about the smoking thing, I've yet to meet a newborn that had a 10 a day habit...

Reply 15

Sunofnight

3

Jennybean

Kind of...!

I know my own mother wishes she'd had the support to encourage her not to give up with me. She felt pressured into starting bottle feeding cos I was losing so much weight. It's up to you how you feel about the fact that your mum didn't breastfeed you. I'm not really sure what you mean about the smoking thing, I've yet to meet a newborn that had a 10 a day habit...

She means smoking when pregnant and around the baby. Formula has everything a baby needs in the 1980's most mothers didn't bother breastfeeding. What later health problems are you talking about?

Reply 16

alio~

9

Jennybean

It's up to you how you feel about the fact that your mum didn't breastfeed you.

Its not, anything that makes me think im not im optimum health makes me mad. What I meant is when pregnant mothers smoke.

Reply 17

Jennybean

13

Sunofnight

She means smoking when pregnant and around the baby. Formula has everything a baby needs in the 1980's most mothers didn't bother breastfeeding. What later health problems are you talking about?

Well we know the mother didn't smoke while pregnant and doesn't smoke now, so that's completely irrelevant isn't it! Saying that bottle feeding is fine because smoking around the baby is worse is like saying getting hit by a car is fine because getting hit by a bus is worse?! Formula has everything a baby needs to stay alive, granted. But breastfeeding is far, far preferable. For the health problems implicated with bottle feeding, see avalanche's (somewhat badly phrased) post. Obesity, diabetes, allergies and cardiovascular disease are the main problems that bottle-fed babies are statistically more likely to suffer from. As for your question before, you can have your blood pressure checked which gives a good indication of the elasticity of your arteries, as well as your HDL:LDL cholesterol ratio, which is also an accurate diagnosis of your heart health.

Reply 18

Jennybean

13

alio~

Its not, anything that makes me think im not im optimum health makes me mad.

So then it is up to you isn't it...I can't help thinking that someone here is missing something quite crucial to the understanding of this conversation!

Reply 19

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

22

Yes it is a little low for a birth weight (average is 7lbs something or other) but by no means is it a very very low birth weight.
The baby will more than likely go on to be a perfectly normal healthy child.

It actually isn't too late for breastfeeding to commence, but it would take a lot of breast stimulation for her to get her lactation back, as her milk will be drying up by now (if it hasn't already). Having said that, some women manage to re-lactate quite a long time after letting their milk dry, but to be honest if your cousin really isn't keen on the idea of breastfeeding, just let it be.
True enough the baby would be better immunised if it received breastmilk, but the formula is perfectly adequate for helping the baby to grow and be nourished. Certainly it isn't likely to be doing any harm in any case, even if it's not quite as beneficial as breastmilk.

She does sound just a tad over-concerned about the weight of the baby. Tell her that it doesn't matter that the baby had a slightly below average birth weight. What matters is that she is gaining weight steadily and following a stable increase on the weight percentile chart.

Also if she starts panicking about the baby losing weight after the birth, remind her that this is perfectly normal. Most (if not all) babies lose weight after birth, and then start to regain it again.

She's bound to be worried though, especially if this is her first baby. First time mothers often worry about everything when it comes to their child! It shows she cares :smile:

(although admittedly I do wonder why she never breastfed if this is the case but well never mind).

Just try and reassure her that her baby will be okay, but don't be too concerned about her.

Even if she doesn't have PND (post-natal-depression) she might have a touch of the baby blues aswell (which lasts about 3 weeks or so if it occurs) which could be adding to her stress, so like I said just try and be supportive. Don't belittle her fears, but rather try to calm them by being rational :smile:

Cousin just had baby but shes gone neurotic

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