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Starting a relationship

I've recently met a girl that I was talking to online/on the phone for several months. We got on really well prior to meeting, and when we met up, I spent the night at hers - there was instant sexual chemistry. We met up again a few days later and she stayed over at mine... now we've arranged that she'll come up and see me at uni.

We like each other - we get on, we share the same political views (an important element for me) and we're definitely physically attracted to each other. However... she lives 100 miles from me in the holidays, and 180 miles from me in termtime. The only times in which we'll be near is when I go back home in termtime and pop to see her at uni (her uni is only half an hour from my home).

I'm also unsure about just how much I like her. I've been single for over 2 years, and haven't been in a serious relationship for 4 - I've been trying to avoid the whole thing but - I've realised that being lonely and jealous of other people's relationships probably isn't a good thing. I just don't know if I like her enough to make things work, and if it's even possible to start off a relationship at the long-term stage.

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

17

maybe just keep it "casual"

Reply 2

SmilerNuts

15

No one is expecting you to propose to her today. Just try it and see how it works out, maybe it'll be the best thing that ever happened t you and then again, maybe it wont work at all. Can't hurt to try though.

Reply 3

randdom

20

I would suggest just seeing how it goes that all you can do really. If you like this girl and you have a genuine connection with her then what have you got to loose?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

randdom

I would suggest just seeing how it goes that all you can do really. If you like this girl and you have a genuine connection with her then what have you got to loose?

The thing is we'd really have to put an insane amount of effort in from the start, and I've got issues with relationships as it is... in fact I'm not sure if I'm even capable of a relationship due to personal issues of my own (anxiety, depression, hypochondria) which are obviously going to be hard for another person to deal with.

Reply 5

hotfuzz

Anonymous

The thing is we'd really have to put an insane amount of effort in from the start, and I've got issues with relationships as it is... in fact I'm not sure if I'm even capable of a relationship due to personal issues of my own (anxiety, depression, hypochondria) which are obviously going to be hard for another person to deal with.

But surely if you only meet up with her every so often, then they won't be issues for her to deal with, if you get what I mean.

Reply 6

SmilerNuts

15

Anonymous

The thing is we'd really have to put an insane amount of effort in from the start, and I've got issues with relationships as it is... in fact I'm not sure if I'm even capable of a relationship due to personal issues of my own (anxiety, depression, hypochondria) which are obviously going to be hard for another person to deal with.

Tel her how you feel about relationships and mention there may be some issues (you don't have to go into detail yet) that may make it hard to be with you and see what she says. Sometimes if you like someone enough you can take the issues in your stride, depends what sort of person she is.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

SmilerNuts

Tel her how you feel about relationships and mention there may be some issues (you don't have to go into detail yet) that may make it hard to be with you and see what she says. Sometimes if you like someone enough you can take the issues in your stride, depends what sort of person she is.

I've done this already pretty much, but she just says she likes me anyway. However, she hasn't experienced me at my worst...

Essentially, it comes down to this: even if we do decide to "go out" then we'd only really see each other every two weeks at best. Is it even possible to not just have a relationship in those conditions but start one? I'm not sure if the doubt I have in my mind is due to my own issues or simple logic and common sense.

Reply 8

SmilerNuts

15

Anonymous

I've done this already pretty much, but she just says she likes me anyway. However, she hasn't experienced me at my worst...

Essentially, it comes down to this: even if we do decide to "go out" then we'd only really see each other every two weeks at best. Is it even possible to not just have a relationship in those conditions but start one? I'm not sure if the doubt I have in my mind is due to my own issues or simple logic and common sense.

Well if you've already told her and she still wants to be with you then that can only be a good sign. It seems like you're looking for reasons not to be with her rather than looking at the positives tbh.

Of course it's possible. You wont know til you try so if you do like her then forget your worries and just take a chance. You never know your luck. I can see why you'd have doubts but I wouldn't let them stop me fromgiving it a go, rather than always wondering "what if".

Starting a relationship

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