Meeting new people at parties

I'd just like to say that I do have a valid reason for posting this as anonymous and I have read through the 'Anonymous posting guidelines' thoroughly before deciding to post this thread. If you feel it's not a valid enough reason then instead of de-anoning it, could you just delete it as I have friends using this forum and it's very embarrassing if they see this.

Ok thing is, I find it very hard to meet/talk to new people at parties etc. I tend to always socialise with those people I already know, and don't put much effort into trying to socialise with those new faces that I don't know, partly because I don't know how to approach them (especially if they're in a group)...I'm a fairly confident guy, although I wasn't for a long time. I'm a bit shy, but once I get to know people I open up from that devious shell. A lot of girls find me attractive (although I never thought I was very good looking). I'm a bit short, around 5ft7 which takes away a bit of my confidence. Although I hope I'll grow a bit before I reach 19 as my doctor has told me that I haven't really had a growth spurt yet (which I hope that's true). I know how to socialise, but I'm not good at starting off conversations when/if someone approaches me. I do occasionally talk to people I don't know at parties, but it never ends up being more than a few words here and there. So when the party is over I feel that I've failed as I haven't gotten to know anyone knew and forget to get the names of those people I do have a brief conversation with. I'm just wondering if there's anything I should be doing that could help me or encourage me to be more sociable around new people and what could sparkle that approach. I’m a 17 year old male if that helps? Thank you.

Reply 1

punktopia

3

Wait until they separate from the group and go for the jugular, like a lion stalking a weakened zebra.

Reply 2

devilsthorn

1

Join a society where you talk to people more often, as a group. Practice makes perfect.

Devilsthorn knows all... the irony of that.

Reply 3

coldplasma

16

I just go up to random groups of people and say hi and introduce myself. Yeah sure, at first they are like "...who is this guy anyway?" but that only last for no more than a minute if you are pretty good at socialising in general. You just gotta be brave really and not worry if they see you as weird or agro or something, because they won't if you are just being friendly :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

punktopia- haha cheers, minus the stalking part though.

devilsthorn- I don't have a problem talking to people in general. It's just at parties I find myself in an awkward position and don't usually go ahead to socialise with people I don't know. I never have this problem anywhere else. Sometimes it's because the people are drunk and say random things which I can't make out of it. For example, yesterday a girl came up to me and said "Hey there, have I given you a number yet… Then you can be number X." All I could think about was how completely wasted she was and didn't know what the hell was going on. So I just said "great" and that was it.

coldplasma

I just go up to random groups of people and say hi and introduce myself. Yeah sure, at first they are like "...who is this guy anyway?" but that only last for no more than a minute if you are pretty good at socialising in general. You just gotta be brave really and not worry if they see you as weird or agro or something, because they won't if you are just being friendly :smile:

Thanks for the advice, I guess that's the easiest and simplest way.

Reply 5

SouthernFreerider

12

one word.....

ALCOHOL

Reply 6

coldplasma

16

SouthernFreerider

one word.....

ALCOHOL

Maybe one drink to get you warmed up, but you don't want to seem like a drunkard because then you will find people will see you as agro and will try to avoid you. I know I would if there was some crazy dude stumbling all over the place acting like he's been everyones best friend since the dawn of time.

Reply 7

SouthernFreerider

12

one drink, meh, 3 or 4 :P

just not 8 or 9 haha.

Reply 8

randdom

20

The way that I have got to know people is to get my friends to introduce me to their friends etc. This way you get to meet a number of new people without having to go and approach groups.

Reply 9

Dimez

14

Anonymous

punktopia- haha cheers, minus the stalking part though.

devilsthorn- I don't have a problem talking to people in general. It's just at parties I find myself in an awkward position and don't usually go ahead to socialise with people I don't know. I never have this problem anywhere else. Sometimes it's because the people are drunk and say random things which I can't make out of it. For example, yesterday a girl came up to me and said "Hey there, have I given you a number yet… Then you can be number X." All I could think about was how completely wasted she was and didn't know what the hell was going on. So I just said "great" and that was it.

Thanks for the advice, I guess that's the easiest and simplest way.

At parties no one really wants to talk about anything serious so bantering and sharing jokes is key. If I were and that girl said that to me I'd say sometime like "Hmmm I don't quite like that number, give me another one/In that case you can be number Y" and carry on from there.

You're bound to feel some sort of anxiety initially but once you get into that chatty/talkative mood then you're off - you have a whole 17 years of experience (not exactly but hey) and stories to tell. People love hearing good funny stories but if you think you can't quite yet pull it off then you can always resort to small-talk (which, incidentally, I nearly always avoid as it's incredibly boring).

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all the replies. If I could I'd rep all of you at once. lol

I'm one of those people who doesn't drink too much, because I don't want to comeacross as a drunktard.

The way that I have got to know people is to get my friends to introduce me to their friends etc. This way you get to meet a number of new people without having to go and approach groups.

Yeah, I did actually get a few people (friends of friends) introducing themselves to me like that, so I guess I could do the same.

Dimez- thanks mate, really helpful advice and now that I think about it, I should have responded more friendly in that situation. thanks.

Reply 11

Rutter knows best!

12

coldplasma

Maybe one drink to get you warmed up, but you don't want to seem like a drunkard because then you will find people will see you as agro and will try to avoid you. I know I would if there was some crazy dude stumbling all over the place acting like he's been everyones best friend since the dawn of time.

i have been that very dude and its never really been a problem.

if there is no alcohol is it even a party? hell no!

as long as your mind and mouth are playing cricket you don't need to worry about the legs.

Reply 12

wizard100

as said above just approach people introduce yourself, say who your mates with etc. good convo starter i find is to ask, so how do you know the host then?

don't tie people down to talk tho, no one wants to be trapped in a dull convo at a party for too long. if it is clear you have nothing in common with someone then move on, easy escape, 'i'm just gonna have to talk to such and such, haven't seen them in ages.. i'll talk to you later.

Meeting new people at parties

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