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he admitted to fancying another girl, hasn't been the same since

My boyfriend and me had a fight the other day, to which he admitted he fancies this girl from work. Ever since then I feel things haven't been the same between us. I know I should think 'he's with me because he wants to be' but everytime I see them laughing and joking together, I keep thinking all these awful things :redface:

(we all work in the same company btw)

It doesn't help that I've 'let myself go' a bit lately (well put on a bit on weight, about half a stone or so) and she is tall, skinny, and very very pretty. It's just making me feel a bit depressed and down :frown:

she always manages to come across so 'polished' and I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards!!

I'm quite a insecure person anyway, so this doesn't help matters.

I'm just after a bit of help or advice really. or any views/stories you all may have.

thanks x

Reply 1

pink_lucie

dump him
lose weight, get your hair done, buy some amazing new clothes
look FANTASTIC!
and then laugh your head off when he wants you back

Reply 2

Paramania

I think whether you stay with him depends on how much you want to be with him.
Most of us (well I do) fancy others as well as the person we are seeing at the time. I think what really matters is whether he does anything about this or just keeps it in his head. You never know it may just be a short crush and soon enough he'll realise what he has with you.
However, if he does do something (as my last boyfriend did!) then get rid of him and (hard as it is) try and forget him.

Reply 3

jointhedots

I'd say the issue is not so much that he fancies her (it's natural, I don't think many people completely stop fancying others when they're in a relationship), but that he was insensitive/unpleasant enough to come out with it during an argument. Pretty low behaviour, really.

Reply 4

theredsox

I guess it depends what the fight was about.
Anyway, don't dump him in some sort of knee jerk reaction. At least he admitted it.
I suppose you should wait and see how it goes. And maybe ask him to talk to you as well as her when you guys are together.

Reply 5

Lara C.

Hayley_2k4

she always manages to come across so 'polished' and I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards!!

lmao, thats just your exagerated perception of it im sure. :smile:

Reply 6

BabyBee

Hmmm, tough one, how much does he fancy her? I'd ask, does he just think she is pretty, or would he like to have a relationship with her, there's different sorts of fancy. I.e i find some guys kinda attractive but I don't fancy anyone else because i'm with who i want to be with.

Talk it through and point out how you knowing that makes you feel around them both.

Reply 7

Ang|ophi|e

You need to talk to him. Find our exactly what he means by 'fancying another girl'. Does he like her for looks or personality? How much does he like her compared to you? Also, discuss about fidelity. Ask him if the oppurtunity came would he prefer her over you. You will get a deeper understanding as to how he feels. Then you can take it two ways: Dump him, or make things work with him.

Reply 8

Hayley_2k4

Thank you all! :smile:

Reply 9

matt@internet

Well it was a dumb move on his part, but hell, people say things in an argument, just to hurt the other. You'll just have to deal with it.
If he does leave you because he finds this other girl more attractive then he's a prick quite hoestly. But d'you think he's the type of person to leave you for someone else just because he finds her more attractive.
And I'm not saying he does. Just because you think she's more attractive than you doesn't mean he does.

Reply 10

The Bishman

Guys do fancy others in relationships. Thats just a fact im afraid. If he's with you its because he wants you and not her.

Reply 11

Dionysus

I think everyone finds people outside of their relationship attractive, but he shouldn't have said it, and you should really question whether he actually loves you.

Reply 12

username47781

It is normal to fancy other people while you are in a relationship, but admitting that was a bit stupid on his part, now the question remains does he still want you?

Reply 13

qubog

I don't get why people think he doesn't love her or want to be with her anymore? Is it because he told her that he likes someone else?

Reply 14

prettygreeneyes99

I wouldnt be able to stay with him personally, but thats just me. Its all well and good having these little crushes from time to time when your with someone, but to go as far as actually saying to your other half that you do fancy someone, and who it is, is really unfair. Especially if your a little insecure anyway. And has he been laughing and joking with her in front of you?
I guess its just one of those things, people know it happens in relationships, but you wouldnt like to think your partner actually did fancy other people, and then have it confirmed by them!