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hes all i can think about...

please dont de-anon this because people i know use this. just delete it if your going to de-anon it. thanks.

basically im home alone and all i think about is the fact that my best guy friend is with the girl that he fancies right now...
i didnt think i fancied him but why is this bothering me so much? he used to fancy me but i said i didnt feel the same way and so he moved on.
but now hes all i can think about and i could actually cry about it.
i dont know what to do. im not really expecting any replies, i just wanted to get it off my chest.

Reply 1

djphatic

3

im in a similar situation to yourself.

at home alone quite alot of the time as im looking for a job and everyone is at work in the day and like yourself find myself thinking about a girl who I really like but she has a boyfriend; which I only found out after I asked her out! ha.

It does sound like you like the guy or it could just be cos your fed up of being alone at home and you are wanting to be with someone.

It's hard to get it off your mind and not really much you can do, other than do something which will take your mind off it. Get busy doing something, do some work or sport, get out of the house and see friends, anything other than being on your own thinking about it.

Reply 2

Rei

14

Hmmm.. well, you had your chance :smile:

..

Reply 3

Last Summer's Dream

2

Send him the Sugababes song!

...Coz I know how I feel about you now..

I'm joking. If he's happy with her there isn't really much you can do.

Reply 4

randdom

20

You don't actually say in your post that you have feelings for him. Maybe you were just used to having him there to talk to share things with (I can imagen that he would have spent a lot of time with you if he liked you as much as you say) and now he has found a girlfriend he is spending less time with you and you miss that closeness. There is nothing wrong with the way that you are feeling but if you are considering telling this guy i would definitely think hard about it, do you really want to be with him? Maybe this is just your way of realising that you do want someone to be that close to (not necessary him) and that you want to start dating.

Either way as distressing as this is for you make sure that you think long and hard before you do something that you might later regret.

Reply 5

qubog

12

Are you sure you don't just want him because you can't have him? You were secure in the knowledge that he liked you, so there was someone out there who was devoted to you. Now he isn't and it hurts. If he wanted you again and told you that he isn't interested in the other girl, would you still want him? Sounds like a simple case of "I don't want you but I don't want anybody else to have you" to me

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks a lot for giving me advice - its given me a lot to think about. i've pretty much come to the conclusion that i'm just being really selfish and just thinking about myself and i just need to move on. easier said then done.

qubog

Are you sure you don't just want him because you can't have him? You were secure in the knowledge that he liked you, so there was someone out there who was devoted to you. Now he isn't and it hurts. If he wanted you again and told you that he isn't interested in the other girl, would you still want him? Sounds like a simple case of "I don't want you but I don't want anybody else to have you" to me

i think you're right. i cant imagine going out with him but its like i dont want him to go out with anyone else. selfish really but i cant help it. when he talks to me about the girl (because hes oblivious to how i feel as i havent actually told him) i pretend im happy for him and i even give him advice on how to go about showing his feelings to her but deep down i just dont want them to get together. what makes it worse is that the girl is one of my best friends.

randdom

Maybe this is just your way of realising that you do want someone to be that close to (not necessary him) and that you want to start dating.

i think you're right as well. maybe im just longing to be with someone because ive never really been in a proper relationship and he was one of the few people that ever fancied me.

Rei

Hmmm.. well, you had your chance :smile:

..

i know i did, but even if that chance was given to me again, i still dont think i would want to go out with him. ive known him for nearly 4 years now and i think it would just be too awkward.

Reply 7

elziebelzie

12

if hes your best friend then you should just want him to be happy - and if that means going out with this other girl then you should try to support him in that.
i can guarantee that as soon as you find a new guy to fancy, you will stop thinking about all of this.
your probably just feeling a bit lonely and unwanted at the moment but dont worry, as soon as you get over this you will feel a whole lot better.

Reply 8

Notepadmed

Anonymous

please dont de-anon this because people i know use this. just delete it if your going to de-anon it. thanks.

basically im home alone and all i think about is the fact that my best guy friend is with the girl that he fancies right now...
i didnt think i fancied him but why is this bothering me so much? he used to fancy me but i said i didnt feel the same way and so he moved on.
but now hes all i can think about and i could actually cry about it.
i dont know what to do. im not really expecting any replies, i just wanted to get it off my chest.

OP have to forget able hom all together!!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Notepadmed

OP have to forget able hom all together!!

huh?

Reply 10

Rei

14

Hmm well, i hope everything goes the way you want it to.. :smile:

+ yeah i've been in your position before.. difference is i found i really really liked her.. we ended up never talking again.. sorry just thought id let that out.. back to you OP :p:

Reply 11

devilsthorn

1

If he's asking your opinion of her then he probably hasn't moved on. He's wanting to make you jealous. People who moved on don't go asking for people's opinions cause it's none of their business.

Reply 12

SmilerNuts

15

devilsthorn

If he's asking your opinion of her then he probably hasn't moved on. He's wanting to make you jealous. People who moved on don't go asking for people's opinions cause it's none of their business.

Aren't they still friends though? You would ask your friends opinion...

Reply 13

JC.

19

I would be inclined to act now.
I was recently in a similar situation. Now ive left it too late and have to deal with the consequences quietly on my own.

Don't allow yourself to sit there thinking "what if"

Reply 14

devilsthorn

1

Put on that short skirt santa costume and you'll brainwash him back into fancying you alone. (may not work for all [I'm starting to like the bracketing system {as invented by Angus}])

hes all i can think about...

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