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Should there be 'sparks'?

After a recent date with a new guy I have been wondering something...do there have to be sparks when you first meet or no?

I'm not talking about 'love at first sight' or anything, because it's not something I believe in. However I was wondering what people think about meeting someone perfectly sweet, nice and cute, but there not being any immediate "wow!". Is that something which will come over time?

My friends seem to have differing opinions on this. Some of them have met past or present partners and had an immediate attraction. Some say that their best relationships have been with people where there wasn't an initial spark. I was just interested in hearing some different opinions on this...

Reply 1

dh00001

16

not always immediately. somethings grow faster than others. just dont force things

Reply 2

rosetinted

2

dh00001

just dont force things

Well that's definitely not a problem! I'm much more chilled about the whole situation and want to just wait and see what happens. However I get the impression he's a bit more interested in me than I am in him. I don't want to lead the guy on, but I do want to see where it goes eventually.

Reply 3

dh00001

16

give it a chance by all means but after a while if there still nothing you will need to think if its ever going to happen :smile:

Reply 4

Profesh

20

Do you want 'sparks'? Do you need sparks? Have you any relevant first-hand experience? Are you in such a frantic rush to get yourself hitched before menopause that you can't afford to simply play this by ear? If the resulting consensus exhibits a 40/60 bias in favour of 'immediate attraction'; will you jump ship? If the reverse is true; do you intend to propose?

Just go on another date, for Christ's sake. Though, if you're already conscious of his being more interested in you than you are in him, I shouldn't expect it to take you anywhere worthwhile.

Reply 5

randdom

20

Don't worry there aren't always sparks when you first meet someone. I have been in situations both where I have met someone and have been immediately amazed by them and where that feeling as grown over time. Try not to over analyse just relax and see how it goes.

Reply 6

rosetinted

2

Taking out some aggression profesh? I'm asking for a range of opinions for interest's sake. Obviously my thoughts on someone and what I intend to do will not be influenced by what people say on here. I just thought it was an interesting question & wanted a general consensus.

Reply 7

dumbdunc

I've though "wow" about a few girls and not about a few more.

In my experience though the ones I think "wow" about I tend to go off of, whereas the others I like more as time goes by.

(I love reading Profesh's posts :biggrin:

)

Reply 8

*Katie*

1

I think spark is the one thing that keeps me interested. I have lots of perfectly nice male friends, and I don't think need more of them. And as I've never been particularly in favour of relationships, I think I'd probably not bother if he wasn't especially persistent. Hmm. Interesting question.

Reply 9

Sarahl89

15

dont you get that tingly feeling when you really like some1 an youre with them?? is it just me? :s-smilie:

Reply 10

Profesh

20

Sarahl89

dont you get that tingly feeling when you really like some1 an youre with them?? is it just me? :s-smilie:

That's called 'embarrassment'.

Reply 11

Tyler Durden

17

Or crabs?

Reply 12

*Star*Guitar*

17

I never believed in it till it happened with one of my best guy mates I'd known for about 18 months. He made a move and I'd never even thought of it like that but then there was butterflies, was on cloud nine etc and couldn't believe I could feel that way. Those feelings can come straight away, or later, and can even go. Personally I don't reckon there's more than about three people you could feel that way about in your lifetime, and it's hard to get that feeling again with someone.
I need some form of chemistry and attraction to take it somewhere.
So as long as you're interested and feel attracted then just carry on and see how it goes.

Reply 13

JC.

19

its weird.

My former fiance I certainly got it, although the previous g/f it was more something that grew with familiarity.

The trick, of course, is trying to forget these things when it all goes pete tong!

Reply 14

Mernard

Sparks? The last one felt like getting hit in the face with a damp flannel.

Reply 15

The Strangest Quark

The 'sparks' can disappear as quickly as they come, or persist with someone you're thoroughly incompatible with from a relationship perspective, or grow over time, and in general behave in a quite random and perverse manner. Best not to take too much notice of them for a little while.

Few things are more perplexing and irritating than meeting a nice, interesting, beautiful man who takes an obvious liking to you but not feeling the 'sparks'.

Reply 16

h82think

14

No, sparks are not important. Maybe the other person is shy, therefore does not give off such strong sparks.

Reply 17

Somewhat Damaged

This time round for me, there was. :p:

Though it's never always been like that - just, kinda grows into something. :smile:

I met someone, and thought "Wow, they are absoloutly amazing."
Yet with another I didn't like all that much at the beginning, then we ended up together. :s-smilie: