This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- University Advice
- Balancing everything
- GCSE appeals advice
- Being sent for chest x-ray - worried
- Sharing a room is destroying my mental health
- Advanced Higher Music Suggestions
- How do I come out as Bi to my friends/family?
- Kitchen Porting Hospitality
- (TW) figuring out I was SA’d as a child
- Struggling w college
- Uni Transfer Uncertainty (rant)
- *FIRST MONTH FREE* Tenancy takeover in Newport, Shropshire
- Chest pain
- Struggling mentally during exam season
- Ever witnessed or been involved in a road rage?!
- Why does it feel like male attraction towards me is predatory
- Really struggling with self-worth/purpose in life
- I moved into my accommodation today; not sure how to feel.
- english language paper 1 q5. Pls help
- Stressed about my chances for Law- lnat
need to get this off my chest so badly....
Bassically , just spoke to my Gf on the phone.
she was talkin bout normal stuff then mentioned her 18th bday (in a few months)
she said she wants to hire somewhere for a party ETC
and said she wants to invite some of her mates from another city ( who i dont know , cept one of them ).
She said "I wanted to invite "X" but you wouldn't like that"
i said " obviously i wouldnt , he tried to get you to leave me for him , and tried to get you to cheat on me"
she said "he didnt do anything wrong"
i said " what so you dont call that wrong , you obviously dont care"
She kept saying "whatever" and hung up.
im soooooo ****ing pissed , someone talk to me , what you think?
Oh update : she text me saying " I just dont hold grudges , i want my party 2 b fun , ive only got like 30 people goin so it dont look like its happenin "
hmmm
she was talkin bout normal stuff then mentioned her 18th bday (in a few months)
she said she wants to hire somewhere for a party ETC
and said she wants to invite some of her mates from another city ( who i dont know , cept one of them ).
She said "I wanted to invite "X" but you wouldn't like that"
i said " obviously i wouldnt , he tried to get you to leave me for him , and tried to get you to cheat on me"
she said "he didnt do anything wrong"
i said " what so you dont call that wrong , you obviously dont care"
She kept saying "whatever" and hung up.
im soooooo ****ing pissed , someone talk to me , what you think?
Oh update : she text me saying " I just dont hold grudges , i want my party 2 b fun , ive only got like 30 people goin so it dont look like its happenin "
hmmm
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
"You obviously don't care"?
Nice one.
Nice one.
Reply 2
She's out of order!
Of course he did something wrong he tried to break the 2 of you up, whats not wrong about that? She sounds abit stuck up to me and is more worried about looking unpopular than your relationship.
Of course he did something wrong he tried to break the 2 of you up, whats not wrong about that? She sounds abit stuck up to me and is more worried about looking unpopular than your relationship.
Reply 4
she says she wants 100 people as the place will be free to rent coz they make up for it in booze bought
Reply 5
She's wrong on her part. I highly doubt she would react the same if some girl had tried to get you to leave her. Why is she fussing about 30 ppl not being enough? It should be about quality over quantity.
Edit: if she invited 70 other random people I doubt she will have fun either way.
Edit: if she invited 70 other random people I doubt she will have fun either way.
Reply 6
Who the hell knows 100 people?
I'd rather have a small group of friends that im close to than a hundred people, most of which i don't know it just seems silly! The lengths people go to to look popular is kinda crazy!
I'd rather have a small group of friends that im close to than a hundred people, most of which i don't know it just seems silly! The lengths people go to to look popular is kinda crazy!
Reply 7
She was in the wrong for defending him but at the same time you could maybe have handled the whole thing a little better yourself.
Reply 8
how? 
Reply 9
I'm all for telling your partner if you're not happy with something, in fact if you don't the relationship probably wont last very long.
But the way you did it, it seemed like you were overly aggressive and therefore got her back up straight away and led into a fight. If you were more calm and rational (however hard that may be with the subject matter) it would probably have gone better.
But the way you did it, it seemed like you were overly aggressive and therefore got her back up straight away and led into a fight. If you were more calm and rational (however hard that may be with the subject matter) it would probably have gone better.
Reply 10
FluffyDinosaur
how?
You could have made it really obvious you'd have been terribly upset if she does invite him. Then say "but its up to you."
Then she'd be a completely heartless b**** to invite him.
(Of course that hinges on the fact she's not a heartless b**** and has a conscience. She might not. Then you'd still be just as screwed.)
Reply 11
Lou76854
Who the hell knows 100 people?
I'd rather have a small group of friends that im close to than a hundred people, most of which i don't know it just seems silly! The lengths people go to to look popular is kinda crazy!
I'd rather have a small group of friends that im close to than a hundred people, most of which i don't know it just seems silly! The lengths people go to to look popular is kinda crazy!
I was thinking the same thing
Reply 12
Being calm and rational and bottling your anger leads to stomach ulcers so tell her how it is (to an extent lol). I think you could have handled it better by not syaing "you obviously dont care" but we all say stupid things in the heat of the moment, it'll blow over but the fact she doesn't seem to think there was anything wrong or even care that her mate tried to split you both up should relly make you question how into this relationship she actually is.
Reply 13
FluffyDinosaur
Bassically , just spoke to my Gf on the phone.
she was talkin bout normal stuff then mentioned her 18th bday (in a few months)
she said she wants to hire somewhere for a party ETC
and said she wants to invite some of her mates from another city ( who i dont know , cept one of them ).
She said "I wanted to invite "X" but you wouldn't like that"
i said " obviously i wouldnt , he tried to get you to leave me for him , and tried to get you to cheat on me"
she said "he didnt do anything wrong"
i said " what so you dont call that wrong , you obviously dont care"
She kept saying "whatever" and hung up.
im soooooo ****ing pissed , someone talk to me , what you think?
Oh update : she text me saying " I just dont hold grudges , i want my party 2 b fun , ive only got like 30 people goin so it dont look like its happenin "
hmmm
she was talkin bout normal stuff then mentioned her 18th bday (in a few months)
she said she wants to hire somewhere for a party ETC
and said she wants to invite some of her mates from another city ( who i dont know , cept one of them ).
She said "I wanted to invite "X" but you wouldn't like that"
i said " obviously i wouldnt , he tried to get you to leave me for him , and tried to get you to cheat on me"
she said "he didnt do anything wrong"
i said " what so you dont call that wrong , you obviously dont care"
She kept saying "whatever" and hung up.
im soooooo ****ing pissed , someone talk to me , what you think?
Oh update : she text me saying " I just dont hold grudges , i want my party 2 b fun , ive only got like 30 people goin so it dont look like its happenin "
hmmm
Jealousy is roughly as unattractive as the prospect of licking the bits between David Gest's toes. Moral of this is this: don't act jealous (even if you are). Be like: "yeah, invite him, that way he can see what he's missing mwahaha
" - much better attitude.Reply 14
By not saying "you obviously don't care", you made yourself into the bad person. Up until then, she was in the wrong for defending him. She should try to see it from your point of view really.
Reply 15
FluffyDinosaur
how?
Here's an idea, see the first post after yours (i.e. mine).
"You obviously don't care" is immature and inflammatory. Of course she's not gonna care if you accuse her of not caring, whether she had cared before or not. If she was gonna have an affair with this guy, she wouldn't tell you about it! Moreover, what if she does just want to look popular? That's her game, not yours, and her motives could be a hell of a lot worse.
Reply 16
I find it weird how telling a person the truth is seen as wrong as she obviously doesn't care about his feelings seen as she doesn't see what he did wrong, yes it would have been better for the relationship if he hadn't have said that but saying it didn't put him in the wrong it just shows that he told her the truth.
You've implied by your over-reaction that any contempt for 'x' on your part arises out of jealous insecurity (which, though understandable, is nonetheless contemptible in itself), rather than from an aversion to his character and mores (which might in the circumstances be somewhat reasonable, assuming that he was originally supposed to be your friend). Of course, if you actually trusted her, the presence (and previous overtures) of said individual would be irrelevant; he cannot 'get her' to cheat on you, because to 'cheat' necessitates a voluntary undertaking on her part. So you've essentially demonstrated that you trust her only inasmuch as you can reserve the right to outright prevent her from seeing men that might pose a (perfectly legitimate and acceptable) challenge to your consensual monopoly over her affections; which, to her, will feel about as offensive as it does degrading and hurtful.
Call her back in a few hours, and apologise. Admit that you over-reacted; that she's right (because she is); and that inviting him along purely in order to make up the numbers would be perfectly acceptable, with the obvious caveat that he can't be trusted to observe the boundaries of friendship between the two of them (hence your initial concern, naturally).
Call her back in a few hours, and apologise. Admit that you over-reacted; that she's right (because she is); and that inviting him along purely in order to make up the numbers would be perfectly acceptable, with the obvious caveat that he can't be trusted to observe the boundaries of friendship between the two of them (hence your initial concern, naturally).
Reply 18
Do you talk like that in real life?
Reply 19
Lou76854
I find it weird how telling a person the truth is seen as wrong as she obviously doesn't care about his feelings seen as she doesn't see what he did wrong, yes it would have been better for the relationship if he hadn't have said that but saying it didn't put him in the wrong it just shows that he told her the truth.
If she hadn't cared about his feelings, she wouldn't have mentioned it to him. True, she wasn't happy when he practically told her she couldn't invite him to her own birthday party (I'd have told him to **** off), but she consulted him. Don't confuse "the truth" with "my opinion".
As I said, which you ignored: she could've had much worse motives than simply wanting to look popular. She could've wanted to cheat on the OP (but she didn't, because if she had done, she wouldn't have consulted him). Consequently, she did nowt wrong. He was the one who got defensive and suspicious and decided to have his little "OH YOU DON'T CARE" tantrum.
Related discussions
- University Advice
- Balancing everything
- GCSE appeals advice
- Being sent for chest x-ray - worried
- Sharing a room is destroying my mental health
- Advanced Higher Music Suggestions
- How do I come out as Bi to my friends/family?
- Kitchen Porting Hospitality
- (TW) figuring out I was SA’d as a child
- Struggling w college
- Uni Transfer Uncertainty (rant)
- *FIRST MONTH FREE* Tenancy takeover in Newport, Shropshire
- Chest pain
- Struggling mentally during exam season
- Ever witnessed or been involved in a road rage?!
- Why does it feel like male attraction towards me is predatory
- Really struggling with self-worth/purpose in life
- I moved into my accommodation today; not sure how to feel.
- english language paper 1 q5. Pls help
- Stressed about my chances for Law- lnat
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 2 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
