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Friends with benefits..

Please do not de-anon this, got people who know me who read the forums!

Right where do i start off with.

Typical 21 year old horny guy , been messed around in relationships and by girls before etc...I am actually getting really fed up seeing if something turns into a relationship, because it usually does not end up right (e.g. girls not turning up to dates and no more contact, being cheated in a relationship)

So now, im thinking that i would be happier having a friends with benefit situation, as I know what is happening and would save me the hassle of getting screwed upon. However I have a few problems to get to this. Firstly, I have hardly any friends at uni, im a second year and most of my life ive had very very few friends, so i do find it extremely difficult to making the first move (also being quite shy) Ive do know other girls but they are in relationships now so that road is kind of closed. Also i am a virgin, but i dont think this should be an issue, like i said, i have had enough of getting messed around and things not getting anywhere, i feel this will be a good way to make friends and see what happens as well.

Any advice how should I go about this?

Reply 1

Fluent in Lies

I don't think this is a situation you can actively go out and seek. I think it just happens if it happens.

"Hi, you're fit. I can't be arsed with a relationship. Wanna be my ****buddy?"

Reply 2

Fluent in Lies

Or you could go with the 'friends with benefits and detriments' approach. I.e. a prostitute.

Advantages: Sex whenever you want it - does pretty much what you want.
Disadvantage: Have to pay for.
Advantage: Don't have to buy presents take out for meals etc. So probably evens out int he end.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

No i dont want to go down the prostitue route lol

Reply 4

qubog

Do you live at home, OP?

Reply 5

username47781

Well friends with benefits can be good if both agree to it but it can also get messy, especially if one person develops feelings but the other person only wants sex.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

qubog

Do you live at home, OP?

No i share a flat with a girl who i am friends with (and before you ask she has a boyfriend lol)

Reply 7

qubog

Maybe she could introduce you to some of her friends? Easiest way to meet girls is through their friends. I was gonna say if you live in halls just come in some night and knock on the door of a girl you may have been enjoying a flirt with. It's got to be worth a try and you could disguise it as a charming drunken visit to check on her welfare :biggrin:

Reply 8

yellow96

The friends with benefits situation probably works best when it just happens accidentally. You can't really engineer it. Just keep trying for relationships but be as laid back as possible; don't go falling in love if you can help it. Less investment ultimately means less hurt.

Reply 9

spartakist

I believe the term is 'shagpiece'

Reply 10

Zoecb

It's very unlikely that people can go looking for one and find one. It's usually something people fall into.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Ah that sucks :frown:

I dont know what to do, in terms of my housemates, asking to be "introduced" to her friends, i surely cant say it in those words. I really dont want a relationship, but having so few friends is really limiting my chances at the moment isnt it