I hate my dad!!!

Firstly, the issue about your Dad abusing your mother is something which is completely disassociated from the whole car buying issue. It's something that if you feel it's wrong you should contact someone/talk to your mum in private about it. Domestic violence is wrong and can lead to heightened violence, put a stop to that if you can.

Secondly, and I'm really sorry about the situation you're in with your Dad/Mum abusive thing, BUT....BOO HOO HOO your Daddy won't buy you a car? Oh my god, so what? You haven't even passed your test yet and you're complaining because he won't buy you a car? Jesus christ!

If it's that big of a deal and you're willing to pay for the car, the MOT, the tax, and the (huge) insurance (yes it's gonna be huge because of your age, experience, etc.) then go and buy it yourself. Just say to him "Look I really want my own car and I'm independent so I'll pay for it myself" and all that.

But otherwise, stop complaining - it's his money and in fairness, if he says he's going to buy you a car once you've passed - well that sounds like a pretty damn good father (setting the abuse to your mother aside) to me! Some people don't know how lucky they are

Ok this is going to be a very long rant but here it goes. I am a 20 year old female and ever since I can remember my dad has made me feel inferior, stupid, useless... every negative feeling you could have I have had it.

When I was 16 I told my dad how I felt, he was shocked but was apologetic and now things have been going better.. until today.

I wanted to buy a car for my 20th birthday (in august), but my mum told me to try asking my dad for one since we have been getting along. At first he refused but he insisted he would buy it for me.

Ever since then I have been looking at auto trader religiously even spending £60 on lessons per week since August and still I haven't received my car. My dad keeps giving me excuses like the insurance to high or it needs an MOT or I'm gonna kill myself buy using it which all sound like reasonable reasons but they are excuses because he doesn't want to buy it for me.

I bought him a £100 suit for his birthday on his birthday with no excuses.
He keeps making up stories and then he started an argument over nothing which has really upset me. I tried to tell him how I felt but he kept shouting me down telling me it was my fault I didn't get the car. Now he is telling me I will only get the car after I pass my test.

I keep giving him chances even after he called my mum a prostitute and this is the only thing that has kept me talking to my dad . He still continues to bash my mum after their divorce and he has destroyed my family by trying to extract information about my mum and what she is doing.

I don't know what to do anymore

Woah not literally bash my mum I mean verbally sorry I didn't make that clear.
I seriously have no problem buying the car for myself that it was what I was intending to do anyway.
The point is the verbal abuse I got from my dad show s he hasn't changed and my issue isn't really about the car its more how do I deal with my father because he makes me feel stupid. I am just saying the car was the last straw.

I hope that has made it clearer

I think its the fact that her father has let her down once again that is the problem here, not that she won't get the car. Its hard not having a reliable father and reading between the lines I think she feels unloved because he is using a cop out as an excuse not to buy things for her. I think our society has an expectation that fathers will spoil their "daddy's little girl" to prove his love and when your dad is stingy and basically doesn't want to spoil you, it can lead to a person feeling unloved. The OP was depending on her father to show that he could be there for her in a way he hasn't been through her life and he has let her down yet again.

Thanks qubog you've been able to express what I couldn't. It's not the fact that I won't get the car that's the problem its the fact that its him being the same unreliable father he has always been. I have been buying my own clothes since I was 15, I bought my own food, paid for my own school trips, I've had a job since I was 16 so I am pretty capable of taking care of myself and I am definitely not spoilt. I don't need him financially but its like he wants me to feel like I need him so I am always under his thumb. He doesn't have to insult me every time I talk to him, (i.e I don't understand because I am a useless woman) and if I dare standup for myself I will be shouted down for eternity.

I bought him a £100 suit for his birthday on his birthday

There's your problem, what kind of suit can you get for £100?

Maybe he feels bad cause you bought him a cheap suit? Get him a Anderson & Sheppard brand suit next time (cost over £1000), then he'll get you a car, lol!

Ok this is going to be a very long rant but here it goes. I am a 20 year old female and ever since I can remember my dad has made me feel inferior, stupid, useless... every negative feeling you could have I have had it.

When I was 16 I told my dad how I felt, he was shocked but was apologetic and now things have been going better.. until today.

I wanted to buy a car for my 20th birthday (in august), but my mum told me to try asking my dad for one since we have been getting along. At first he refused but he insisted he would buy it for me.

Ever since then I have been looking at auto trader religiously even spending £60 on lessons per week since August and still I haven't received my car. My dad keeps giving me excuses like the insurance to high or it needs an MOT or I'm gonna kill myself buy using it which all sound like reasonable reasons but they are excuses because he doesn't want to buy it for me.

I bought him a £100 suit for his birthday on his birthday with no excuses.
He keeps making up stories and then he started an argument over nothing which has really upset me. I tried to tell him how I felt but he kept shouting me down telling me it was my fault I didn't get the car. Now he is telling me I will only get the car after I pass my test.

I keep giving him chances even after he called my mum a prostitute and this is the only thing that has kept me talking to my dad . He still continues to bash my mum after their divorce and he has destroyed my family by trying to extract information about my mum and what she is doing.

I don't know what to do anymore

well theres a sensible suggestion.

Ok this is going to be a very long rant but here it goes. I am a 20 year old female and ever since I can remember my dad has made me feel inferior, stupid, useless... every negative feeling you could have I have had it.

When I was 16 I told my dad how I felt, he was shocked but was apologetic and now things have been going better.. until today.

I wanted to buy a car for my 20th birthday (in august), but my mum told me to try asking my dad for one since we have been getting along. At first he refused but he insisted he would buy it for me.

Ever since then I have been looking at auto trader religiously even spending £60 on lessons per week since August and still I haven't received my car. My dad keeps giving me excuses like the insurance to high or it needs an MOT or I'm gonna kill myself buy using it which all sound like reasonable reasons but they are excuses because he doesn't want to buy it for me.

I bought him a £100 suit for his birthday on his birthday with no excuses.
He keeps making up stories and then he started an argument over nothing which has really upset me. I tried to tell him how I felt but he kept shouting me down telling me it was my fault I didn't get the car. Now he is telling me I will only get the car after I pass my test.

I keep giving him chances even after he called my mum a prostitute and this is the only thing that has kept me talking to my dad . He still continues to bash my mum after their divorce and he has destroyed my family by trying to extract information about my mum and what she is doing.

I don't know what to do anymore