help, depressed

i feel so rubbish. i don't know who to tell or what to do. Telling my mum would make worse. I haven't spoken to my school friends for ages and they don't understand depression anyway. None of my uni friends will understand. I really don't want to be on anti-depressants/in therapy so please don't just say that. My depression's probably just due to having very few friends but now it's spiralled so i can't make more!

i have an important exam soon and i'm really struggling to concentrate, and so i feel guilty if i'm not revising.
i keep turning invitations down because i don't feel i can be sociable. but i also feel so incredibly lonely.

i just feel so awful, i wish i could properly cry but i can't.
i really don't know what to do. i've eaten loads of crap tonight to try and make me feel better and now i feel worse for it.

sorry this post isnt flowing.
help.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I know exactly how you feel, as I have recently been through the same thing. It had been going on for about 9 months, and sometimes I felt really low, sometimes things seemed better, but I would then feel bad soon after, my emotions were up and down. I didn't feel lie socialising, but then felt lonely when friends became more distant. It is a downwards spiral, and is sohard to get out of. Now I feel happier in myself, and I haven't had any drugs or really talked to anyone, just somehow distracted myself from the situation. I'm still not as I was before, and have quite low self-esteem, but I can now see that I have a future, it's not a black hole. Perhaps some people do need some form of help, and I cannto guarantee that you will feel better immediately, but talking to others really helps. If you need to talk, post here anonymously and I will do my best to help you. Perhaps there are other people here who can also help.

Reply 2

jrt87

Anonymous

i feel so rubbish. i don't know who to tell or what to do. Telling my mum would make worse. I haven't spoken to my school friends for ages and they don't understand depression anyway. None of my uni friends will understand. I really don't want to be on anti-depressants/in therapy so please don't just say that. My depression's probably just due to having very few friends but now it's spiralled so i can't make more!

i have an important exam soon and i'm really struggling to concentrate, and so i feel guilty if i'm not revising.
i keep turning invitations down because i don't feel i can be sociable. but i also feel so incredibly lonely.

i just feel so awful, i wish i could properly cry but i can't.
i really don't know what to do. i've eaten loads of crap tonight to try and make me feel better and now i feel worse for it.

sorry this post isnt flowing.
help.

I can relate well. The first 3 weeks of uni I slipped terribly into depression of which for the first time since before the summer I felt I was out of control of. I also refuse to have medication anymore.

What is it that's making you feel so bad? I know it can sometimes be a minefield of ambiguity when you try to pinpoint that, but just try really hard. You mention the friend issues, so I'd assume it's a feeling of social alienation conflicting with a desire to be out there?

I'm afraid I'm going to sound slightly harsh here, and I know it's the worst thing to be told when your feeling rock bottom, but it's the only way. Just lift yourself up (physically). Put on some good music, tidy about, have a good meal and a get a good night's sleep. Anything to break that cycle of apathy and melancholia.

Get up early tomorrow (getting up later will place you in that "ergh" mood that lacks motivation), have a nice long walk and just do something. Anything. Who cares what. Something productive. Force yourself to start a project/revision/assignment. Your be suprised once you start it, how your keep going on, and your feel good about yourself if you get something productive done. Then, just try and keep this cycle up. If you feel yourself slipping at any time, take a deep breath, and nip it in a bud with a predetermined sign of "calm" move on to something else productive.

If you can keep this upward spiral of worth and confidence flowing, it gets easier and easier to maintain and I've found in the past that "friends" and such attract to you like a magnet once your feeling better about yourself.

Reply 3

punktopia

3

Anonymous

i feel so rubbish. i don't know who to tell or what to do. Telling my mum would make worse. I haven't spoken to my school friends for ages and they don't understand depression anyway. None of my uni friends will understand. I really don't want to be on anti-depressants/in therapy so please don't just say that. My depression's probably just due to having very few friends but now it's spiralled so i can't make more!

i have an important exam soon and i'm really struggling to concentrate, and so i feel guilty if i'm not revising.
i keep turning invitations down because i don't feel i can be sociable. but i also feel so incredibly lonely.

i just feel so awful, i wish i could properly cry but i can't.
i really don't know what to do. i've eaten loads of crap tonight to try and make me feel better and now i feel worse for it.

sorry this post isnt flowing.
help.

Just out of curiosity, why don't you want to try therapy? It can be as relaxed/intensive as you'd like it.

Other than that, try regular daily exercise and a routine, eat healthily, plan some event you know you'll enjoy. The exercise should help (press ups, 5kg weights, stomach crunches). You have to try and make yourself get up and do things and think positively - tell yourself you're not going to let depression win.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

i feel so rubbish. i don't know who to tell or what to do. Telling my mum would make worse. I haven't spoken to my school friends for ages and they don't understand depression anyway. None of my uni friends will understand. I really don't want to be on anti-depressants/in therapy so please don't just say that. My depression's probably just due to having very few friends but now it's spiralled so i can't make more!

i have an important exam soon and i'm really struggling to concentrate, and so i feel guilty if i'm not revising.
i keep turning invitations down because i don't feel i can be sociable. but i also feel so incredibly lonely.

i just feel so awful, i wish i could properly cry but i can't.
i really don't know what to do. i've eaten loads of crap tonight to try and make me feel better and now i feel worse for it.

sorry this post isnt flowing.
help.

I feel exactly the same. I hate uni. It was all lies. Everything I've always heard everyone say. I'm so lonely. I cry all the time. I used to cry about 3 times a year before. Ive been here 5 weeks and cried about 7 times. I hate crying, I hate being lonely, I hate having no close friends or any connection with anyone. To be honest there are so many things Im depressed about I can't even see a resolution coming any time soon. I doubt anyone here can even help me but I have nothing else to do or that I have the motivation to do so I'm posting this message anyway.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Anon 2: That's good that things have got better for you, I think you're right i do need to talk, but to people who know me and stuff. I'm only posting here as i have no idea who to turn to/ what to do.

jrt87- yeah you're probs right, social alienation and wanting friends at the same time.
I'm doing your advice really, forcing myself to do all the "right" things. But they aren't helping. It's such an awful spiral, ahh.

punktopia- hassle really, i'd have to change GPs and i have all sorts of repeat prescriptions with my GP at home (for non related stuff) There aren't really activities that i enjoy anymore.. there's shopping but then i feel guilty for spending..

Anon 3: I know. I didnt think uni was that bad last year though, but now i'm not in halls my social life's poor and i feel seriously lonely. Even when i'm with people i feel lonely, and I don't really want to talk to them anyway.
I just feel like i want it all to end, but i have no idea how to make it go away.

Reply 6

jrt87

Anonymous

I feel exactly the same. I hate uni. It was all lies. Everything I've always heard everyone say. I'm so lonely. I cry all the time. I used to cry about 3 times a year before. Ive been here 5 weeks and cried about 7 times. I hate crying, I hate being lonely, I hate having no close friends or any connection with anyone. To be honest there are so many things Im depressed about I can't even see a resolution coming any time soon. I doubt anyone here can even help me but I have nothing else to do or that I have the motivation to do so I'm posting this message anyway.

Your posting the message because you do want to feel better, and consciously or not recognise there are possibility's for achieving this. By doing so, your already not as lost as you think.

What are the lies?

If they are what I think they may be, DO NOT let the stereotypical time of uni, and your perceived lack of it affect you in any way! I agree it's a bunch of crap! The only thing that is certain about university is that it's a place of education. Everything else surrounding it is entirely subjective and for you to make your own. I personally hate the binge drinking/Klaxons,Arctic Monkeys & Dance are infallible/steal a traffic cone and house party bull****. For me Uni is dingy pubs, most nights in reading and writing. For someone else it may be something else altogether. Make it your own.

Once again, I repeat, break the cycle and find something productive to occupy your time. Continue and you may just spiral up your confidence to the point where you at least stop feeling alienated so much, and feel good enough to get out. Pointless little things can help confidence. Play what I like to call the wonderfully titled "eye contact game" :cool:

. Just make socially acceptable eye contact (don't stare!) with everyone you pass on a busy high street, and feel the strange buzz of confidence you get. Your find some friends. It may take a little bit more time, but your find some. Likeminded people (yes even us shy ones) seem to find a way of finding each other somehow.

Living on your own for the first time is hard, especially when your confidence/motivation is severely below that of what seems to be everyone, but it's just another step in life that you WILL overcome. You have fall over before you learn to walk.

Reply 7

Thud

17

jrt87

If you feel yourself slipping at any time, pinch your thigh really REALLY hard and move on to something else productive.

Taking up self-harm as a hobby really isn't the best of ideas.

Reply 8

jrt87

Thud

Taking up self-harm as a hobby really isn't the best of ideas.

Hyperbolic, no?

If you find yourself suddenly crashing in the middle of a busy shopping centre, is it best to let your depression cycle build up momentum? Or attempt to nip it in the bud? A quick, pre-mediated sign of "calm down" can be incredibly useful for catching your rationale back.

I was actually told to push my index/middle finger into my thigh, and take a breath. I better edit that post, as it can be misinterpreted I guess.

help, depressed

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