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Conflicts and arguments...

(anon as there is a chance people I know may read this)

I've been with my other half for around 15 months. He's the more talkative out of the both of us. Recently, when we've argued over something trivial or when I'm not saying much because I'm upset or angry over something, he runs off. I mean, over MSN, he'll sign off, or if we're on the phone he'll hang up and switch his phone off and last week when we were in the town centre he got up and got the bus home (but ended up getting off around the corner).

I've argued with him that it's childish to keep running off when we fight but he argues that it's only when I don't give him a response, and why should he be expected to stick around when it's like that. It's as if he only wants things to be perfect all the time and when things get heated, exit stage left.

I was upset about something tonight and wasn't in much of a talkative mood, and neither was he apparently. I got a sudden message of "**** it, bye" which upset me further because it was very abrupt. When I called him he exploded with rage, telling me "it's all ****ing circles with you" and "I always have to carry the ****ing conversation, you never put anything in". I said it was childish to always run off like that and he replied "you're the ****ing child, always ignoring me".

I don't know... am I in the wrong, or is he?

Reply 1

Becca <3.

1

Err.. I don't really think it's all about who's "in the wrong". It is, however, blatantly obvious you two seem to have some sort of patterned communicational break-down, somewhere along the line. It has to be addressed head on, me thinks.

How about, giving him a call and asking him to come round for a while, because you need to chat some things over. Then just sit down, like adults, and discuss what seems to go wrong each time. Not "who's fault it is" because somebody's bound to get upset if you go down that route. More like what's the solution, what you've both got to do to make this work. Otherwise, one of you'll just get bored of putting up with the other one's same, repetitive reactions, and leave.

I guess if you both want it enough, you'll find away to get over this little patch you're going through.

Best of luck. :smile:

Becca <3.

Reply 2

Fluent in Lies

2

ohdear

Reply 3

dh00001

16

hard to say with the info given. do you try to make conversations with him and put in reasonable effort?

Reply 4

Unregistered

Both of you are being a bit silly, you doing the whole "Guess why i'm pissed off" act and him not putting much of an effort in when something is bothering you. Break the cycle, TALK! If you've been in a relationship for over a year, you should be able to say "Actually, you son of a bitch, you're annoying the hell out me with that stupid houdini act. It's getting OLD" :smile:

Reply 5

randomgirl

14

Becca <3.

Err.. I don't really think it's all about who's "in the wrong". It is, however, blatantly obvious you two seem to have some sort of patterned communicational break-down, somewhere along the line. It has to be addressed head on, me thinks.

How about, giving him a call and asking him to come round for a while, because you need to chat some things over. Then just sit down, like adults, and discuss what seems to go wrong each time. Not "who's fault it is" because somebody's bound to get upset if you go down that route. More like what's the solution, what you've both got to do to make this work. Otherwise, one of you'll just get bored of putting up with the other one's same, repetitive reactions, and leave.

I guess if you both want it enough, you'll find away to get over this little patch you're going through.

Best of luck. :smile:

Becca <3.

This is good advice ^

You need to make an effort to communicate, it is a two way thing. And he needs to grow up and learn not to walk out of situations when they don't go the way he wants them to!

Reply 6

DodgyTrousers

7

It's both of you honestly.

You need to stop the passive-aggressive pouting thing and actually TELL him what's up with you. He needs to calm down and stay put rather than running off.

I used to do the same thing when I was about 19, it never gets you anywhere, it's better to talk this stuff out. Just remember to compromise where you can and things can get better :smile:

Reply 7

JC.

19

Sometimes walking away is what a person needs to do when they are pissed off.
I wish i could develop this quality. :/

Reply 8

Rei

14

lol JC, you sound like a ****** from all you're posts..not meaning that in an offensive way or anything.. but you keep saying how you get so angry :p:

and can't stop.. You seem pretty calm on here though lol.. but this is an e-forum so i guess that kinda explain things... anyway.. OP.. talk to him, it'll help. :smile:

*Yes, before anyone else points out... most of the advice i give is completely useless*

Conflicts and arguments...

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