He kissed me - really confused

Tell him you want to take it slow. Talk to him about it.

Reply 2

devilsthorn

Trembling in fear because of one kiss? He's a guy, not a monster waiting to devour your soul. Maybe not...

Reply 3

Profesh

20

Anonymous

Help me

I'm 18 and I've known this guy for two weeks now, and this evening he kissed me. I like him a lot, but I hardly know him. He's my first ever kiss and I'm worried that I'm rushing into things. I'm not on the pill or anything and I don't feel ready for that at all yet. He says he wants to take it slow, but I just feel really scared. What sort of a guy makes a move after two weeks?

I just feel really inexperienced in this sort of thing, and I'm not sure how experienced he is and I'm so worried I'm going to mess the whole thing up. I have to live with him for at least a year, so I don't want to fall out and make things awkward, and I don't want him to think I'm a slut or that I'm easy or anything. I'm worried that he didn't like my kissing and now he'll just ignore me. I'm really confused, please help me.

It's just all the advice I've been given is not to rush into things, take it slowly, and it hasn't happened like that.

Any advice? Please, I'm just so scared.

An exceedingly patient one.

Reply 4

angelpie

5

May I ask how old you are?

Reply 5

devilsthorn

Was it a kiss on the cheek, mouth, and were tongues involved? I think a kiss on the cheek or forehead isn't that pushy.

Reply 6

OP

Look, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just scared, that's all. I'm 18.

Tongues were involved. Several times.

I like him a lot, but I've never been in this situation before. And all the advice I've heard points towards not having a relationship with anyone in the first term of uni.

I hardly know him, he hardly knows me, how can he possibly know me enough to know that he'd like to be my boyfriend? And if he doesn't want to, if he's just interested in one thing, then I'd like to know that as well.

I know it's hard for all of you who are far more experienced than me to understand, but I'm just caught between wanting to continue, and wanting to stop it right now before I make a mistake.

Reply 7

Dionysus

He kissed you, you like him, you're a bit scared, understandably. You don't get a lot better than that. If you like him, ignore everyone else, this is about what you want. You won't get a better opportunity than this. Well done. Make sure that you use a condom when you have sex for the first time (and every other time ofc) - might be an idea to carry one yourself, in case he's daft enough not to have one.

Reply 8

angelpie

5

I think its understandable that you're scared, anything is scary when its unfamiliar to you. I agree with you about the two week thing too, my advice-don't sleep with him. Don't worry too much about making a mistake as he's probably worried too, take it slow and see where it goes. Good luck!! :hugs:

Reply 9

OP

If you read my OP, I say that I'm not ready for that yet. What I want to know is that, if he's made a move after only two weeks, is he interested in a relationship, or just a one-night thing?

Reply 10

OP

Sorry, last post was directed to Dionysus. Thank you angelpie for your understanding advice :smile:

I just feel that as I hardly know him and he hardly knows me, how can he possibly know whether we're compatible or not? It just feels so wrong, and yet it feels right. Help :frown:

Reply 11

Dionysus

Anonymous

If you read my OP, I say that I'm not ready for that yet. What I want to know is that, if he's made a move after only two weeks, is he interested in a relationship, or just a one-night thing?

From a male perspective, I can tell you that 2 weeks is pretty slow :P - he could be interested in either. He either wants a quick shag or he genuinely loves you. If you want to slow it down a bit, TELL HIM! No guy is going to forget you because you ask to slow it down - or at least if he does, he isn't worth it to start with.

Reply 12

A Y A Z

11

A one night thing doesn't take two weeks to set up. If he kissed you, you kissed him back. If you think he's the one trying to be your boyfriend, remember, YOU were the one who encouraged him.

Just wait. Don't do anything. Just act like you are acting now; as a friend. Don't mention the kiss - let him bring it up. When he does, ask him what he really means and what he expects of you. When he really does say that yes, I want to be your boyfriend, make it clear that you don't know him that well. You fancy him and would like to know him better if such a thing were to happen in the future. If he really is the one night stand kind, he will be gone before you can say 'anal'. If he stays and agrees, and hes happy with the conditions you've placed, give him a chance.

Reply 13

Darkened Angel

11

Two weeks is really slow...

Reply 14

devilsthorn

Dionysus

From a male perspective, I can tell you that 2 weeks is pretty slow :P - he could be interested in either. He either wants a quick shag or he genuinely loves you. If you want to slow it down a bit, TELL HIM! No guy is going to forget you because you ask to slow it down - or at least if he does, he isn't worth it to start with.

I'm a guy and from my perspective...

Kiss
1-4 weeks is too fast
1-6 months is ok
6-12 months is long
12 months-4 yrs is a bit too long for most

Sex
1-6 months is too early
1yr+ is ok but better if after marriage

In old school in some countries, you'd get hanged for touching a woman's hand. Kissing her will get you severe torture before executed.

Reply 15

Dionysus

devilsthorn

I'm a guy and from my perspective...

Kiss
1-4 weeks is too fast
1-6 months is ok
6-12 months is long
12 months-4 yrs is a bit too long for most

Sex
1-6 months is too early
1yr+ is ok but better if after marriage

In old school in some countries, you'd get hanged for touching a woman's hand. Kissing her will get you severe torture before executed.

You can't be serious? It generally takes about an hour for a one-nighter or a week, maybe two for a serious thing.

Reply 16

suicidal_dream

if i were you, wait til he brings up the topic...

the first term of uni isnt too soon for a relationship if you genuinely like him.

be honest with him - if you want a relationship then tell him you're not looking for a one-night stand... or tell him you want to take it slow etc etc.

I would imagine he's more interested in a relationship if you only kissed to be honest!

oh and me and my boyf kissed after knowing each other for less than a week and we're still together 15 months later

Reply 17

Saffie

11

You seem to think that by letting him kiss you, you've given him an all access pass. You haven't. You can always tell him you haven't slept with anyone before and want it to be special?!! It's not that personal a thing to say when someone's stripping off infront you.

Also 2 weeks is quite a long time.

Don't do anything you don't want to.

Reply 18

OP

Thank you so much everyone for your kind advice. I feel much better about the whole thing now. I'll let him bring it up if he wants to, that way I'll know if he meant it.

I'm just worried that getting into a relationship (if that is really what he wants) so early into uni will cut off other possibilities of forming friendships. If I'm forever nurturing a relationship, will I have time for nurturing all my other friendships? What do you think?

Reply 19

asdasta