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I dont know what to do...
Warning... this is going to be rather long...and i apologise for the crappy grammar. but i just cba with it atm.
Right where to start...
The facts...well ok I'm 18, Half Indian, (dad) Half English (mom)
My parents had me by mistake when they were 18. It screwed their life up for a while and until i was about 7 years old, we had nothing.
My dad opens up his business and its not long until the money comes rolling in. They spoil me with evrything a child could possibly want.
However i ask for nothing. Years go by and as i grow older they become even stricter, im not allowed to go to my friends houses unless my parents know their parents, but as my parents are both at university, and having full time jobs, and looking after me and my sisters, they dont have time to go and meet my friends parents. So i dont get to socialise.
Anyway, im not allowed a boyfriend. HELL NO. Im not even alowed guy mates anymore. At sixteen i decided to stop lying to my parents and introduce them to a guy i was seeing. They didnt like this. they threw him out of the house and stopped me seeing him. they took me out of school for a while too. when i begged to go back to school they said yes after about a month. so i went back to school but was in such a depressed state, i was unable to go to class. i would just sit and cry and cut myself.
but i told noone. the teachers wondering why i was not turning up to lessons phoned my mother who came up to the school and dragged me out kickking and screaming.
a few weeks later at a family wedding, my dad noticed the cuts on my wrist, instead of asking if i was okay, and trying to help, he punched me in the face.
after this i beg them to let me go to college, which they finally agree on letting me. so i go to college and i behave myself.
its okay for a while, until i get another phone as the one im using, dad sees the bill and wants to know why im texting people so much... so i get a secret one, which they find out about around christmas time. they screw and i am thrown out. which is fine by me as i go and stay at my uncles. however they make me ome back home once again and lock me in my bedroom.
things die down again and life is as normal. wake up go to college, go to work with dad after college, go home. this is my life.
whilst all this **** happening, my parents still give me every material possesion a kid could want. i get a brand new golf for my 18th birthday, i always have the best clothes and whatever. but this doesnt make me happy. i want something more, which is a lot cheaper. i want them to give me a bit pf freedom.
they dont seem to understand this. and the latest events:
my nan has just died, so i understand that my rents are upset and stressed at the moment. however, i find out that my dad has my phone tagged. basically whever i contact, or someone contacts me, he gets a message to his phone stating who what and when. i have to leave myphone by the front door everytime i ome in the house. they also seem to know when im on msn and whatever. i wouldnt be surprised if they have cameras in my room. and my car has a tracking device in it.
i cant even run away, i have no money myself, as they wont let me get a proper job. i have to work for dad. and my little sisters, im worried what would happen to them if i left. last time i ran away dad threatened that he would hang someone if i did it again.
i wish he would hang me.
i cant do anything and its actually driving me crazy, i dont want to end up in a mental home. im suicidal, and the only thing which is keeping me here is the though of my little sisters.
if i did run away, he would find me, he knows too many people and has too many contacts. he'd probably kill me this time too.
i really dont know what to do and its actually driving me insane.
What do i do?
:'(
Right where to start...
The facts...well ok I'm 18, Half Indian, (dad) Half English (mom)
My parents had me by mistake when they were 18. It screwed their life up for a while and until i was about 7 years old, we had nothing.
My dad opens up his business and its not long until the money comes rolling in. They spoil me with evrything a child could possibly want.
However i ask for nothing. Years go by and as i grow older they become even stricter, im not allowed to go to my friends houses unless my parents know their parents, but as my parents are both at university, and having full time jobs, and looking after me and my sisters, they dont have time to go and meet my friends parents. So i dont get to socialise.
Anyway, im not allowed a boyfriend. HELL NO. Im not even alowed guy mates anymore. At sixteen i decided to stop lying to my parents and introduce them to a guy i was seeing. They didnt like this. they threw him out of the house and stopped me seeing him. they took me out of school for a while too. when i begged to go back to school they said yes after about a month. so i went back to school but was in such a depressed state, i was unable to go to class. i would just sit and cry and cut myself.
but i told noone. the teachers wondering why i was not turning up to lessons phoned my mother who came up to the school and dragged me out kickking and screaming.
a few weeks later at a family wedding, my dad noticed the cuts on my wrist, instead of asking if i was okay, and trying to help, he punched me in the face.
after this i beg them to let me go to college, which they finally agree on letting me. so i go to college and i behave myself.
its okay for a while, until i get another phone as the one im using, dad sees the bill and wants to know why im texting people so much... so i get a secret one, which they find out about around christmas time. they screw and i am thrown out. which is fine by me as i go and stay at my uncles. however they make me ome back home once again and lock me in my bedroom.
things die down again and life is as normal. wake up go to college, go to work with dad after college, go home. this is my life.
whilst all this **** happening, my parents still give me every material possesion a kid could want. i get a brand new golf for my 18th birthday, i always have the best clothes and whatever. but this doesnt make me happy. i want something more, which is a lot cheaper. i want them to give me a bit pf freedom.
they dont seem to understand this. and the latest events:
my nan has just died, so i understand that my rents are upset and stressed at the moment. however, i find out that my dad has my phone tagged. basically whever i contact, or someone contacts me, he gets a message to his phone stating who what and when. i have to leave myphone by the front door everytime i ome in the house. they also seem to know when im on msn and whatever. i wouldnt be surprised if they have cameras in my room. and my car has a tracking device in it.
i cant even run away, i have no money myself, as they wont let me get a proper job. i have to work for dad. and my little sisters, im worried what would happen to them if i left. last time i ran away dad threatened that he would hang someone if i did it again.
i wish he would hang me.
i cant do anything and its actually driving me crazy, i dont want to end up in a mental home. im suicidal, and the only thing which is keeping me here is the though of my little sisters.
if i did run away, he would find me, he knows too many people and has too many contacts. he'd probably kill me this time too.
i really dont know what to do and its actually driving me insane.
What do i do?
:'(
feck thats is such a horrible situation to be in 
The last bit is stopping me from giving a more generic response because that could cause a lot more problems.
Firstly, i'd like to know whether your the only they treat like this in your family. The horrible truth may be that all this stems from the fact that you were accidental and they resent you because of the impact you had on their lives. Then again you have every right to be here and should be treated with the same respect any other person is with their parents. It isn't your fault at all, it is their fault and they really need some sort of help firstly. Punching his own daughter in the face?! That is ****ing disgusting. Any guy who does that deserves to be castrated. The presents, well it could be that your given them to lessen the impact they have on you (my dad was like that, but he wasn't anywhere near as bad as this - actually he's nice its just when he was drunk).
Yea, i'd really like to know how they treat your sisters. If it is all directed at you, then it isn't too likely that they would be hurt because of you.
I think you need to get away from them somehow, i'd say ring up an organisation related to this sort of thing but you mentioned something about them tapping your phone
Maybe try and find somewhere you can make the call - payphone etc because they are going to be able to help a lot more than anyone on here.
Your 18 and they still control your life?! Thats not right for a parent! Are they religious at all?
The last bit is stopping me from giving a more generic response because that could cause a lot more problems.Firstly, i'd like to know whether your the only they treat like this in your family. The horrible truth may be that all this stems from the fact that you were accidental and they resent you because of the impact you had on their lives. Then again you have every right to be here and should be treated with the same respect any other person is with their parents. It isn't your fault at all, it is their fault and they really need some sort of help firstly. Punching his own daughter in the face?! That is ****ing disgusting. Any guy who does that deserves to be castrated. The presents, well it could be that your given them to lessen the impact they have on you (my dad was like that, but he wasn't anywhere near as bad as this - actually he's nice its just when he was drunk).
Yea, i'd really like to know how they treat your sisters. If it is all directed at you, then it isn't too likely that they would be hurt because of you.
I think you need to get away from them somehow, i'd say ring up an organisation related to this sort of thing but you mentioned something about them tapping your phone
Maybe try and find somewhere you can make the call - payphone etc because they are going to be able to help a lot more than anyone on here.Your 18 and they still control your life?! Thats not right for a parent! Are they religious at all?
first of all, hang in there and never give up hope. Is there anyone you can talk to personally about this? how bout your uncle? the only thing i can suggest is that you get professional help, call Childline or the Samaritans from a public call box (the calls are free) do this whenever you are away from home maybe after college or something. the people there would be able to advise you on what to do and what your choices are.
Are you allowed to go to uni? uni could be a good way of breaking free, if you were able to live away from home and for a good reason.
sorry i cant be of much help, but good luck and never give up hope, cause there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it is, you'l get there in the end xxx
Are you allowed to go to uni? uni could be a good way of breaking free, if you were able to live away from home and for a good reason.
sorry i cant be of much help, but good luck and never give up hope, cause there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it is, you'l get there in the end xxx
well tehy are pretty nice to my sisters. the middle one is moms favourite and the little one my dads. sometimes my dad gets angry and he has hit the
middle one once or twice, but nothing major. just a slap.
yes its only me that its directed at, and we're sikh, we are religious, but not exremely if you get what i mean, we go to the temple when we have time etc but not all the time.
another thing, they said i have until 22 to find a suitable guy to marry. i.e. they have to tick all their boxes. otherwise they are going to find one for me. how can i do this when im not even allowed to have guy mates?!
they SAY they love me, then tehy say they wish they never had me. then they say they love me again. is it any wonder im ****ed in the head?
also i dont think im going to make it until uni. its been what ive been workng towards since i was 9, to be able to just break free, but now they are saying that they cant trust me to do what they say whilst im under tehir roof so no way am i going away
i usually do talk to my uncle but dad doesnt liekt his as to cut a long story short. my uncle is another failure in my parents eyes. he has just had a baby with a woman who has a kid off someone else. she is a lovey girl but my family just dont like it.
its the 21st centruey for christ sake. we live in england. these things happen.
i wish they would all **** off back to india. then he can bring his family up in the "indian way" which he so dearly wants.
middle one once or twice, but nothing major. just a slap.
yes its only me that its directed at, and we're sikh, we are religious, but not exremely if you get what i mean, we go to the temple when we have time etc but not all the time.
another thing, they said i have until 22 to find a suitable guy to marry. i.e. they have to tick all their boxes. otherwise they are going to find one for me. how can i do this when im not even allowed to have guy mates?!
they SAY they love me, then tehy say they wish they never had me. then they say they love me again. is it any wonder im ****ed in the head?
also i dont think im going to make it until uni. its been what ive been workng towards since i was 9, to be able to just break free, but now they are saying that they cant trust me to do what they say whilst im under tehir roof so no way am i going away
i usually do talk to my uncle but dad doesnt liekt his as to cut a long story short. my uncle is another failure in my parents eyes. he has just had a baby with a woman who has a kid off someone else. she is a lovey girl but my family just dont like it.
its the 21st centruey for christ sake. we live in england. these things happen.
i wish they would all **** off back to india. then he can bring his family up in the "indian way" which he so dearly wants.
btw, you know when i go to uni,
my parents were going to pay the fees.....hence they have all control over whether i go or not... but i was wondering, if I DID tell em where to stick it...
student loans...would the bank loan me the money, even if i donthave a penny to my name or a job?
my parents were going to pay the fees.....hence they have all control over whether i go or not... but i was wondering, if I DID tell em where to stick it...
student loans...would the bank loan me the money, even if i donthave a penny to my name or a job?
you can get a loan but youd have to get a part time job when your not studying, eg; the weekends or any days you have off...to cover the money for your living costs. But the loans you pay off once youve graduated and working and earning over a certain amount.
if you go at it alone, you may have to get emancipated etc, (you can do this before you turn 18) as you'd then have no family income, the government would give you around £2800 (a year i think) which you dont have to pay back
and alot of universities will also support you with money if you need it, especially if you had no family support for uni
and alot of universities will also support you with money if you need it, especially if you had no family support for uni
You're basically tied to them at the moment. They have made it so you would have nowhere to go and no money if you decided to leave as well as threatening you as to what would happen if you did leave. I would ring the Samaritans if I were you and get some practical advice.....but act now!! and just hang in there...there will be a day when you'll be free and can be yourself
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