I feel awful

Reply 1

randomgirl

Just think before you speak. And yeah, if you have nothing but rude comments to say, then keep schtum! :p:

Reply 2

ßlαcksωαn

I was a bully in primary school.
How old are you?

Reply 3

Bedshaped

Nearly 18.

Its mostly jokey comments that make my friends laugh but makes the person feel awful.

Yet sometimes its other things such as the fact that I was really peed off the other day for unrelated reasons...and basically I was at this party and this REALLY REALLY nice guy was talking to me. And for some reason I kept insulting him. He was really honest and actually said the following to me...

"Seriously man. I've been trying to have a conversation with you and all you've done is insult me. Bye."

I felt so crap.

Reply 4

Thud

I hate bullies, they destroy people and that's just mean, so to be quite honest, I'm glad you feel awful. If I ever met someone who bullied me at school I'd make them feel worse than awful.

Reply 5

Faiza.

Just think before you say anything.

Or if it's your nature to make jokey comments, do it in a way that's not gonna make the person feel bad. One of my friends always makes jokey comments, but he does it in a way that it's funny and unoffensive. [And like the person could actually tell that he means no harm, it's just friendly]

And try not to insult :smile:

Be nice

Reply 6

nougat

I had this kind of epiphany when I was about 12, I remember it well, I felt horrendous. I think it came at the right time; guilt and need to be nice and never moved to anger meant any teenage outbursts were suppressed :-D Just change, it can be done, it's not about being simperingly sweet or anything, just don't be a ***** (why does it always put that word in stars?) for no real reason. A hell of a lot of people in their self-righteousness are just that, and they never realise they're being an idiot, so you're doing fine.

Reply 7

hippieglitter

My boyfriend is a bit like that, he's not exactly a bully but he has a nasty habit of making people feel terrible or look like arse s in front of his or their friends he doesn't even know he's doing it and he doesnlt understand how it makes people feel. Realising how you make people feel is on the way to stopping. Good luck.

Reply 8

20083

Bedshaped

"If you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say nothing" (

I think "don't say anything" or "say nothing" may help.

Reply 9

beautifulbigmacs

I was severly bullied at skool at its vastly effected my social life and at the mome im having councelling. I find it comforting though, that you'ev recognised that you perhaps have a problem. that gives me a lil bit more faith in human nature and also, is a sign that you're on the right step towards making a positive change. I know that if there are people out there who you know you've really upset, it will really restore their self esteem for now and for the future if you outwardly apologise to them within reason. Not all people who've bullied would have the guts to do that, but if you did you'd be doing yourself and the other people immensely big favours. I wish you well! Good luck :smile:

Reply 10

avalanche

Well you should feel aweful.. its expected what do you want people to say? A lot of bullies feel aweful and then a week or so later that state of mind suddenly changes and they are back to bullying again.

To sort this out I think you should apologise to the people you have been nasty too, this should at least help them.

Reply 11

Tyler Durden

Bedshaped

Ok. Pretty friggin random...but...I feel really really crap.

I'm probably just being selfish but I've just realised how nasty and horrible I am! I'm a friggin bully. I've bullied people all my life and haven't realised how bad I might make them feel. I mean, people have said nasty things to me too...and it has hurt...but I do it more then the average person.

I feel really awful. I just asked my best mate (who I'm never nasty to) why I'm so messed up.

She told me its probably because I don't know what else to say.

Is this true? Is the saying "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say nothing" quite helpful? Should I just become a shy guy? I'm nasty to friggin everyone...

Man. I've gotta stop. I need advice. I don't want to make people feel bad :frown:

Become funnier. Then when you are rude at least you're also being funny. People won't take it as seriously.

Girl: Does my bum look bit in this?
You: Yeah, massive.
Girl: Waaa waaa :frown:

SHOULD BE:

Girl: Does my bum look big in this?
You: Hmmmm, I dunno.... "big" is such an overused term... how do you feel about colossal? :p:

Girl: Shut up! :rolleyes:

Genuinely works. For guys too - although guys don't generally get upset by such banterous comments anyway.

Yes, there will be people who reply to this and tell you not to do that. It's because they had their sense of humour surgically removed. You can get away with being a jerk if you're a funny jerk.

Reply 12

Bedshaped

Sehnsucht

Become funnier. Then when you are rude at least you're also being funny. People won't take it as seriously.

Girl: Does my bum look bit in this?
You: Yeah, massive.
Girl: Waaa waaa :frown:

SHOULD BE:

Girl: Does my bum look big in this?
You: Hmmmm, I dunno.... "big" is such an overused term... how do you feel about colossal? :p:

Girl: Shut up! :rolleyes:

I think I'm a funny jerk who can be a proper jerk sometimes.

:frown:

I just don't want to be a jerk anymore :frown:

Reply 13

Rutter knows best!

i am constantly a jerk with girls but they always come back for more?.

Reply 14

SilentGirl

Bedshaped

I think I'm a funny jerk who can be a proper jerk sometimes.

:frown:

I just don't want to be a jerk anymore :frown:

first of all, why do you think you bullied ppl? is it coz u thought it wud make you look cool?? actually, you backfired urself. the ppl that u bullied wont feel bad but its you whos going to carry the guilt for the rest of ur life. those victims might hav felt bad back then (no1 wud want some1 nagging at them) but inside they must have been cursing you !!

what is done is done. Glad to see that u realised ur fault and congratulate you on this. hope, u dnt go bak to ur previous life of bullying others.just try not to bully anyone anymore...whats the need>?? Life is much easier and peaceful, if u can just shed some nice beautiful words on ppl. :smile:

good luck.

Reply 15

qubog

Just stop making nasty comments to people and grit your teeth and get through the guilt. What the hell else are you supposed to do?

Reply 16

hippieglitter

Sehnsucht

Girl: Does my bum look bit in this?
You: Yeah, massive.

My boyfriend would say that but i just laugh at him because he is fatter than me and i woudn't usually bother asking anyway.

Reply 17

kaylee:)

randomgirl

Just think before you speak. And yeah, if you have nothing but rude comments to say, then keep schtum! :p:

that is so not true!! that will just make you shy you should never be afraid of what is in your head just say it. and if it really does hurt someone whatever comment you made, say it was weight for example, well if your comment upset them, they should do something about it like loose wieght see...

i got nothing against fat people its just i have an irrational fear of gaining weight.

K x