i need all your advice :(

i love my bf so much and he loves me. hes always doing romantic gestures but theres this girl whos 15 (we r 18 btw) and she LOVES him and he went out with her and her friend for her birthday 2 months ago, he promised me it would not happen again, but i saw a missed call from her on his phone and i asked him just now about it and he admited that they have have a few briefy convos on the phone and they bumped into eachother in town when she came out of school. he said he wouldnt act on any feelings he has because he loves me but i dont understand, if you love someone how can you think about having felings for anybody else? i know he always found her pretty and that didnt bother me, but the whole feelings issue has. i have been crying for ages and i said to him that i want to go on a break for a while we should split up for a little while. have i done the right thing? :'(

Reply 1

punktopia

3

So your boyfriend is a paedo. Just threaten to call the police/local press if he ever hooks up with her.

Reply 2

qubog

12

If your boyfriend really had any respect for you, he wouldn't be running round town with some 15 year old random. Why would he do that anyway? I say just take a break for a while unless he can prove he is worth trusting despite his "feelings". Just ask him straight out if he wants to be with you or this other girl

Reply 3

candy_kiss

OP

he said he wanted to be with me and he loves me so much etc but i just cant get my head around the fact that he is such a caring person then goes and does this to me. its like ive lost the trust and i really want it be how it was. This girl has lots of crushes and i think he feels flattered that people fancy him because at school he was a bit geeky and now hes like extremely good looking and everyone wants a piece of him but tha does not justify anything. im just wondering what feelings he has and how strong they are? im just so confused. then he makes me feel guilty by crying and saying he doesnt want to lose me but WHAT ABOUT ME!

Reply 4

Kater Murr

20

I know a 17 year old who *emotionally* persuaded (forced) a 12 year old to go down on him.

Dump him.

(If I don't offer relevant advice my post will be deleted.)

Dump him.

Reply 5

candy_kiss

OP

no hes not like that its more of like he gets on wel with her because basically since she met him shes dyed her hair colour same as his, changed her style to same as his the whole emo thing, shes changed her music taste to exactly what he likes and i feel as if shes pretending to like what he does and thats why he thinks they have 'lots' in common. my keyboard is gettin soaked by tears :/ not good

Reply 6

qubog

12

What a sad case! Your boyfriend surely can't take her seriously??

Reply 7

punktopia

3

If it's just her having a crush on him then you really shouldn't get upset about it; it's not going anywhere unless he makes a move.

Reply 8

candy_kiss

OP

i know but she looks about 19/20 she gets a lot of attention from boys, shes prettier than me but im not a fake. i havent changed myself for boyfriend we both just fit together perfectly but the cheeky git i felt expected me to be ok with it all even though he just admiteed he has feelings for her.

Reply 9

Unregistered

15? LOL!

No way?! ahahaha, It's entirely possible that he's a pervert. I don't care how old she looks, but she'll be miles apart from him interests wise. I mean, 2 months ago she was 14! And he could be off to uni, when she's not even finished high school.

If he doesn't quit deceiving you for a bit of baby bumping then i'd ditch him. Weiiiiiiird.

Reply 10

Tufts

17

Eeeeeewww I would simply dump right now.

Reply 11

Meep!

9

Oh how utterly disgusting. He went out with a girl who was JUST 15 for her birthday? Despite being with you? Yuck, frankly. There is something pretty majorly wrong with that. Firstly, he shouldn't be leading this kiddy on by doing such, and secondly, it's just not fair on you. Having said that, sometimes I just don't think guys really are on the same wavelength at all-my bf has a friend at uni who REALLY fancies him, she just can't stop being all touchy and things when he's around, even when I'm there. Now, he never does anything back, he just ignores it and carries on with what he's doing, but the rub is that he never tells her to stop, he's too worried he'll offend her, and then he can't understand why I get upset about it. Men, eh?

Reply 12

dumbdunc

Yep. I will repeat the common phrase in this thread "yuuuuuuck!"

But also. Surely by "taking a break" you're just giving him an opportunity to see her behind your back?

I'd just dump him now. There's no point anymore if you can't trust him, that and A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD!!!!! Ewwwww.

Reply 13

Somewhat Damaged

Okay, your all ignorent for the whole "ewwww. 18 & 15" because it can happen and work. Age is almost a guide line, not something that has to be followed.
Agreed, if there's sex involved sure, but stop all being so judgemental. :mad:

I think you did the right thing by asking for a break, he can get his head together about things, these feelings for that girl will pass if he does actually "love" you. These feelings for this 15 year old, is probably like you said, just because it's extra attention.
I'm sure he'll realise soon. :smile:

Reply 14

candy_kiss

OP

well heres an UPDATE: he texted me last nite and bascially said that when he said he had feelings for her he meant really good friends feelings but i think hes just trying to turn back what he said. :/

Reply 15

candy_kiss

OP

somewhat damaged.your post made me smile thanku :biggrin:

Reply 16

Somewhat Damaged

candy_kiss

well heres an UPDATE: he texted me last nite and bascially said that when he said he had feelings for her he meant really good friends feelings but i think hes just trying to turn back what he said. :/

Well - he's trying to get you back at least. Even if he's not trying the best way about it. He's trying to tell you that it's you he wants, not the brat. Don't just push him away, because you obviously still have feelings, and so does he, otherwise he wouldn't bother. Just give him time for groveling. :biggrin:

*major groveling. :smile:

&glad your smiling at least. :P

Reply 17

candy_kiss

OP

oh as like a condition i was thinking of asking him to erase her off his bebo and myspace and only have her on msn. i mean i cant make him delete her off his phone but surely gettin rid of her on bebo and myspace is a little bit fair on me so i dont have to see her face everytime i go onto his page to comment him or something :/ or is that a bit bossy :/

Reply 18

punktopia

3

Somewhat Damaged

Okay, your all ignorent for the whole "ewwww. 18 & 15" because it can happen and work. Age is almost a guide line, not something that has to be followed.
Agreed, if there's sex involved sure, but stop all being so judgemental. :mad:

I think you did the right thing by asking for a break, he can get his head together about things, these feelings for that girl will pass if he does actually "love" you. These feelings for this 15 year old, is probably like you said, just because it's extra attention.
I'm sure he'll realise soon. :smile:

If you're going to call people ignorant, at least spell the word correctly.

Reply 19

kookoo_koochoo

1

candy_kiss

oh as like a condition i was thinking of asking him to erase her off his bebo and myspace and only have her on msn. i mean i cant make him delete her off his phone but surely gettin rid of her on bebo and myspace is a little bit fair on me so i dont have to see her face everytime i go onto his page to comment him or something :/ or is that a bit bossy :/

I really feel for you, I'd not be so calm in your position! A break is a good idea, he needs to sort his story out cos IF he does have relationship type feelings for this girl then he might as well figure it out now and tell you so you can move on. I'm sure it's not easy for you, but he should know how hurt you are. And id that's not enough to make him stop contacting her then maybe the best thing would be to ask him to stop directly, even if it does seem a bit bossy. But say it nicely not like in a YOU HAVE TO kind of way lol. I would do the same, ask him to get rid of all those things, actually I'd rather he got rid of msn cos then I could see the comments she was leaving him on his myspace and judge myself. Does this girl KNOW about you??

i need all your advice :(

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