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How do you deal with your housemates?
10
Ok my housemate is a boy and I've never met anyone with such low standards of hygiene in my life. Like don't get me wrong I'm really messy, sometimes you can't see the floor in my room but it's all clothes, shoes and magazines.
He just leaves unhygienic stuff around. For instance last night he cooked a chicken and left the carcass out on the side overnight (Despite our other housemate being a veggie and easily offended). He then just put the chicken carcass in the bin not even wrapped in a bag and when I pointed out our bins get ripped open he said 'oh well the rats will have a treat'. I personally think the idea of us having rats are repulsive but he doesn't care.
Also he leaves meat juice (raw meat blood, cooked chicken fat thats congealed) on the side on MY chopping board. I'm happy to share it with everyone but I would like it to be clean for me to use when I want and I don't like touching meat jelly and stuff so don't want to clear it up after him. When I ask him to clean it off he doesn't even use a cleaner on it and when I point out about bacteria he says 'I'm anal and I can't live in a perfect clean world'. His cheese toasty maker which was on the side had mould growing on it and when I asked him to clean it up because it was on the side he said it was his and he'd do what he wants with it.
He doesn't buy washing powder and I refused to let him use mine (because he does 4 times more loads then me) so he used all the fabric softener I had at the back of the cupboard for washing my clothes and then said he couldn't afford to replace it. He does the same with foil, washing up liquid, bin liners, everything. He'll use our decent products and then replace them with value washing powder (which I can't use because it irritates my skin) and bin liners that split. I told him that if he couldn't replace it with similar products he should buy his own and use it.
He just has no clue about cleaning and never bothers. Like I asked him to move the rubbish bags he'd piled at the back door steps because they were a fire hazard and I didn't want to climb through trash to get in to the house and he didn't do it. Then when I told him to he just laughed at me and said I was being 'ridiculous'. He refuses to put in for a bin to put the bags in then expects us to clamber through the rubbish strewn everywhere.
He thinks that as long as they aren't lumps on the thing you want to use it doesn't matter if there is a layer of grease that has been fermenting for days. I had to teach him how to wash a plate because it had tiny bits of food on it all over and he honestly didn't think it was dirty. I feel sick thinking of all the bacteria breeding on everything I touch and then on my hands. I'm not OCD in fact I'm quite a messy person but I get freaked out by actual rotting food dirt and it makes me feel hysterical and like I need to wash my hands all the time. His friends are just as bad coming round and leaving fruit on the side and the chopping boards and floor. One of them stained our chopping board with fruit juice and left it poured all over the floor and split sugar on our steps to the front of our house. Then just left it.
There is piss on our bathroom floor as well and as we don't pee standing up it has to be him but when we mentioned it he goes oh it's fine it doesn't smell. He never cleans the toilets even if there are skid marks on them and that falls to me if my parent's are coming and I don't want them to think we live like slobs. I feel like at any minute a roach, maggot or rat might appear in our house or garden and freaks me out.
I just can't believe his parents didn't teach him to clean. I've been to his house and it's lovely but he is actually clueless and when you try and explain how to do it to common standards (use dettol, hot water, etc) he just laughs at you and says why doesn't he just give you some money and you can do it if you care that much. Like I'm a paid servant or something. He's a really good friend and I don't want to fall out with him but how do I make him see this filth is repulsive and teach him to clear it up before one of us gets ill or we get rats? Has anyone else had a housemate like this? How did you deal with it? Am I anal for wanting not to have food remains left to mould in our kitchen?
He just leaves unhygienic stuff around. For instance last night he cooked a chicken and left the carcass out on the side overnight (Despite our other housemate being a veggie and easily offended). He then just put the chicken carcass in the bin not even wrapped in a bag and when I pointed out our bins get ripped open he said 'oh well the rats will have a treat'. I personally think the idea of us having rats are repulsive but he doesn't care.
Also he leaves meat juice (raw meat blood, cooked chicken fat thats congealed) on the side on MY chopping board. I'm happy to share it with everyone but I would like it to be clean for me to use when I want and I don't like touching meat jelly and stuff so don't want to clear it up after him. When I ask him to clean it off he doesn't even use a cleaner on it and when I point out about bacteria he says 'I'm anal and I can't live in a perfect clean world'. His cheese toasty maker which was on the side had mould growing on it and when I asked him to clean it up because it was on the side he said it was his and he'd do what he wants with it.
He doesn't buy washing powder and I refused to let him use mine (because he does 4 times more loads then me) so he used all the fabric softener I had at the back of the cupboard for washing my clothes and then said he couldn't afford to replace it. He does the same with foil, washing up liquid, bin liners, everything. He'll use our decent products and then replace them with value washing powder (which I can't use because it irritates my skin) and bin liners that split. I told him that if he couldn't replace it with similar products he should buy his own and use it.
He just has no clue about cleaning and never bothers. Like I asked him to move the rubbish bags he'd piled at the back door steps because they were a fire hazard and I didn't want to climb through trash to get in to the house and he didn't do it. Then when I told him to he just laughed at me and said I was being 'ridiculous'. He refuses to put in for a bin to put the bags in then expects us to clamber through the rubbish strewn everywhere.
He thinks that as long as they aren't lumps on the thing you want to use it doesn't matter if there is a layer of grease that has been fermenting for days. I had to teach him how to wash a plate because it had tiny bits of food on it all over and he honestly didn't think it was dirty. I feel sick thinking of all the bacteria breeding on everything I touch and then on my hands. I'm not OCD in fact I'm quite a messy person but I get freaked out by actual rotting food dirt and it makes me feel hysterical and like I need to wash my hands all the time. His friends are just as bad coming round and leaving fruit on the side and the chopping boards and floor. One of them stained our chopping board with fruit juice and left it poured all over the floor and split sugar on our steps to the front of our house. Then just left it.
There is piss on our bathroom floor as well and as we don't pee standing up it has to be him but when we mentioned it he goes oh it's fine it doesn't smell. He never cleans the toilets even if there are skid marks on them and that falls to me if my parent's are coming and I don't want them to think we live like slobs. I feel like at any minute a roach, maggot or rat might appear in our house or garden and freaks me out.
I just can't believe his parents didn't teach him to clean. I've been to his house and it's lovely but he is actually clueless and when you try and explain how to do it to common standards (use dettol, hot water, etc) he just laughs at you and says why doesn't he just give you some money and you can do it if you care that much. Like I'm a paid servant or something. He's a really good friend and I don't want to fall out with him but how do I make him see this filth is repulsive and teach him to clear it up before one of us gets ill or we get rats? Has anyone else had a housemate like this? How did you deal with it? Am I anal for wanting not to have food remains left to mould in our kitchen?
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Reply 1
14
Wow, what an intensely irritating person. Difficult to deal with, but if it was me the red mist would probably come down and anything I found offensive I would pile on his bed.
However, a more diplomatic solution is possibly to look at your contract - you're probably contracted to keep the house reasonably clean. Suggest to him that if he doesn't start cleaning his mess then you will get the landlords involved.
Seriously, it sounds like you've been really nice to him considering what an inconsiderate pig he is.
However, a more diplomatic solution is possibly to look at your contract - you're probably contracted to keep the house reasonably clean. Suggest to him that if he doesn't start cleaning his mess then you will get the landlords involved.
Seriously, it sounds like you've been really nice to him considering what an inconsiderate pig he is.
Reply 2
What's wrong with him? All guys are like that.
Reply 3
ro-ro
OP
10
Thanks poica, We've had problems from the start and we ended up sitting him down and he went all mental about how he was going to move out and stuff and how I shout at him for not cleaning which upsets him. But always give a quiet verbal warning first along the lines of 'please clean up that chicken carcass, it isn't very pleasant for all of us including kate whose veggie' but it falls on deaf ears. We spoke to our landlord and he vowed to change and he is a bit better it's just the food hygiene and the bins that upset me. I don't mind about hoovering or dusting or his room at all because it's his space but vermin are a real problem in my mind whereas he just doesn't care.
Reply 4
ro-ro
OP
10
devilsthorn
What's wrong with him? All guys are like that.
Omg I am never going to marry a boy if this is true.
Reply 5
He sounds awful. I'd get the rest of the house to back you up if they agree with you, and all sit him down and tell him to either clean up after himself or you'll get the landlord onto him.
EDIT: Just read that you've done all of that, in which case see if he sorts himself out. If not then no matter how good a friend he once was he's being a rubbish friend by behaving like this and frankly you'd have a case for getting him evicted.
EDIT: Just read that you've done all of that, in which case see if he sorts himself out. If not then no matter how good a friend he once was he's being a rubbish friend by behaving like this and frankly you'd have a case for getting him evicted.
Reply 6
Meh, I can live in crap.
Reply 7
14
ro-ro
Thanks poica, We've had problems from the start and we ended up sitting him down and he went all mental about how he was going to move out and stuff and how I shout at him for not cleaning which upsets him. But always give a quiet verbal warning first along the lines of 'please clean up that chicken carcass, it isn't very pleasant for all of us including kate whose veggie' but it falls on deaf ears. We spoke to our landlord and he vowed to change and he is a bit better it's just the food hygiene and the bins that upset me. I don't mind about hoovering or dusting or his room at all because it's his space but vermin are a real problem in my mind whereas he just doesn't care.
Honestly, it sounds like hell. I'd encourage him to start looking for somewhere else to live. Friends are fine to live with as long as everything goes right - however he seems determined to not let it.
And not all boys are like that, I live with 2 and they're both very good about cleaning up. They're not perfect, but certainly if I ask they'll do it. Sounds like your friend is honestly just a jerk.
Reply 8
I had a housemate with realy long hair once who used to clog the shower plug with his hair - despite mentioning it to him, it never got cleaned out after he'd used it. One of my other housemates had had enough, picked up this massive wad of wet hair and slung it at his door where it stuck. He truly was disgusting, wouldn't keep to the rota I organised and it was great to finally get shot of him.
Marcus
Marcus
Reply 9
All guys arent like that, there's 3 in my flat and their all clean people... complain to your accomodation office if you have one, there's more people around like this than you think!
Reply 10
15
Well our flat isn't exactly clean either but it's also not a health hazard. There are only 2 blokes in our flat but I certainly can't imagine leaving it like that if I was inviting a girl round, I mean it's not exactly attractive. All student flats are a bit messy, but this guy sounds like he's going to start an outbreak of Cholera.
Reply 11
15
no offense, but you do complain an awful lot about just about everybody in your life, so could it be that you are blowing it out of proportion? You might just have to learn to be more tolerant.
However, if your whole house is annoyed, then get together, sit down and talk about it with him. if you all complain at the same time it might send the message home.
However, if your whole house is annoyed, then get together, sit down and talk about it with him. if you all complain at the same time it might send the message home.
Reply 12
19
Not all boys are like that - therefore you shouldn't have to put up with it.
As Poica says, most universities and landlords (is it uni accommodation or private accommodation, out of interest?) will have clauses in the contract stating that incumbents have a responsibility to maintain certain standards of hygiene and cleanliness, and he will therefore be in breach of this.
You say you've already spoken to him about it. Hence my course of action would be this: if it's a uni-owned accommodation block, get on to your hospitality services division about it and get them to pay a surprise visit. If it's a private letting, speak to your landlord/agency and get them to do the same thing. Your housemate might feel slightly differently about the situation if they're asked to move out because of it...
Helenkr: seriously, would you like to live in the sort of environment the OP's describing? I personally wouldn't and imo it's pretty difficult to blow that sort of thing out of proportion.
As Poica says, most universities and landlords (is it uni accommodation or private accommodation, out of interest?) will have clauses in the contract stating that incumbents have a responsibility to maintain certain standards of hygiene and cleanliness, and he will therefore be in breach of this.
You say you've already spoken to him about it. Hence my course of action would be this: if it's a uni-owned accommodation block, get on to your hospitality services division about it and get them to pay a surprise visit. If it's a private letting, speak to your landlord/agency and get them to do the same thing. Your housemate might feel slightly differently about the situation if they're asked to move out because of it...
Helenkr: seriously, would you like to live in the sort of environment the OP's describing? I personally wouldn't and imo it's pretty difficult to blow that sort of thing out of proportion.
Reply 13
I don't think he sounds that bad to be honest, lol. Perhaps a lil annoying, but not complaintointernetpeople annoying.
Reply 14
15
Angelil
Helenkr: seriously, would you like to live in the sort of environment the OP's describing? I personally wouldn't and imo it's pretty difficult to blow that sort of thing out of proportion.
Helenkr: seriously, would you like to live in the sort of environment the OP's describing? I personally wouldn't and imo it's pretty difficult to blow that sort of thing out of proportion.
Well, it doesn't sound too different to what it was like for me last year, or for my brother the year before that. It can be irritating, but bearable, if it doesn't happen all the time. If it is every day, then ok, that's worse, but if it's a few isolated incidents, then it would seem that the OP is blowing it out of proportion. Normally I wouldn't suggest it's petty at all, but the OP seems to have a weekly topic complaining about somebody, which is why i suggested that she might be part of the problem.
Reply 15
Dan-IW
I don't think he sounds that bad to be honest, lol. Perhaps a lil annoying, but not complaintointernetpeople annoying.
Id be tempted to make someone eat whatever rubbish they'd left around if they came out with crap like 'I'm anal and I can't live in a perfect clean world'!
Reply 16
17
Ew he sounds really rank. I'd get the landlord involved, you've asked him nicely, now it's time to actually do something.
Reply 17
16
Ugh you have my sympathy. Luckily I now live in a house where there's a boy who is a neat freak so the house is spit spot the entire time.
There really is no excuse for being unhygenic.
I suggest you speak to your landlord, and maybe even his parents? Meh, I dunno. Start dumping all the mucky ****e in his room.
There really is no excuse for being unhygenic.
I suggest you speak to your landlord, and maybe even his parents? Meh, I dunno. Start dumping all the mucky ****e in his room.
Reply 18
take a **** on the floor of his bedroom, right in the middle.
it will get the message across.
it will get the message across.
Reply 19
Oh actually an amazing idea which my boyfriend actually used at his uni house... there's one guy who really messy and they had a rota up and everything, and he just wouldnt follow it... so they decided to start putting his dirty pots & crap outside his door, he went mad and eventually started cleaning his stuff up!
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