as a muslim, honestly i would rather them explain the situation to me, if i found out they lied (trust me it will come out at one point) it would probably cause a bump in the relationship
but if there are women who marry converts, you could find someone too
Tbh in my experience, if you're honest about your past sins/mistakes and tell her, she'll probably respect you more for your honesty and the fact you regret it.
My advice is, just be honest, being honest and open is important in a marriage.
You can marry a women and not tell her, but honestly is also promoted in Islam, so it would be better if you told her. Also if she does find out, the consequences are likely to be much worse than if you told her before. So it would be best if you told her your situation and just explained yourself, if she is the one it would not make a difference and Allah does everything for a good reason, so instead of worrying what might happen if you tell think of the benefits - you said your practising now so that is a clear benefit and if you are practising and have repented than Allah will make sure everything works out.
as a Muslim girl myself i wouldn't want to marry someone who has lost it only because i myself haven't so a option could be marrying someone who is similar to you. furthermore yes it is true that you do not need to tell your wife that your not a virgin and her not knowing wont even affect her. the thing is it would affect you because you have this wife who you share everything with but you cannot share that and i scary.
the way i see it personally if you are the best person you can be now praying, fasting being kind and considerate then i think its fine. also you may meet someone who you feel comfortable telling and to be honest if a girl sees what you have to offer now she can put that aside trust me its all about what you have now
(I have studied the principles of Fiqh and Hadith just to reassure you) Brother listen, lets establish some facts. When Allah forgives a sin, it is as if the sin has not been committed, that's the beauty of it. Also, yes, you should not expose your sin when Allah has placed a hijab (a barrier) over it. Allah has concealed it out of his mercy and the only time a sin should be exposed is when one wants to warn others away from it. You seem guilty and repentant therefore it is safe to say you very likely have been forgiven. That is the end of that, it is as if you did not commit the sin. Scholars have said that when asked about a sin (which no one should really do unless there is a necessity) one should not lie, rather they should mislead and say statements such as "Alhamdulilah, Allah has protected me from that sin (from doing it again)", that is the best approach. Also, here is the ruling stating lying is strictly forbidden in any case, except 3:
Ahmad (17) narrated that Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: O people, beware of lying, for lying is contrary to faith.
[Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. See ad-Da‘eefah, 5/414]
It is narrated in a saheeh report from Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Muslim could develop all sorts of characteristics except treachery and lying.
And it is narrated in a saheeh report from Ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: Lying is never appropriate in earnest or in jest. Then he recited the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning): “Fear Allah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds).” [at-Tawbah 9:119].
Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 8/403 Muslim (2605) narrated from Umm Kalthoom bint ‘Uqbah that she heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He is not a liar who reconciles between people, saying good things and conveying good things.”
Ibn Shihaab – one of the narrators of the hadeeth – said: I did not hear of any concession being granted concerning anything that people call lies except in three cases: War, reconciling among people, and what a man says to his wife or a woman says to her husband.
Imam Ahmad (26731) narrated that Umm Kalthoom bint ‘Uqbah said: I never heard the Messenger of Allah grant a concession allowing any kind of lying except in three cases: a man who says something intending thereby to bring about reconciliation (between two people who have enmity towards each other); a man who says something at the time of war (to protect Muslims); and a man talking to his wife or a woman talking to her husband (for example when a wife asks a husband if she looks beautiful and at that moment he does not think so, lying at that moment and saying she does is better for the couple and maintains the love).
So in conclusion, no, do not expose the sin, it is not who you are and does not represent you and you have sincerely repented so it is as if it has not happened. Also, it is not deceit or anything, it is something where there is no necessity to mention and thus does not need to be. Finally, a practising sister who truly understands the the Deen, the Quran and the Sunnah will not let this concern her especially if you are repentant and regretful for the sin.
Hope this helps brother and may Allah bless you and aid you in finding a righteous spouse and may He bless your marriage In'Sha'Allah and grant you Jannah. Ameen.
Lying in a relationship is never a good thing. Shows you don't really appreciate your future wife, to be honest. She's not a thing or a possession, she's someone you profess to love. If you love her, you should feel you want to tell the truth.