Helping Mr Commitmentphobe

My boyfriend and I have been together for several months now, originally we were very close friends for several years who were then flirting for a year before getting it together.

We have lots of close ties eg losing virginty, friends etc but over the past few weeks I've noticed a change in him, he seems much more distant. I've confronted him about it to the point of saying if you're looking for a way of finishing it say it now, but he says he really doesnt want that in the least. I've brought up with his four best friends, all of whom say the say thing, he's just scared of commitment.

I guess now that the months that we've been together are mounting up, things are becoming quite serious and wonder whether thats why he's been a bit weird.

So my question is, how can I make him feel more relaxed about the issue of commitment?

Reply 1

prettygreeneyes99

Just try and assure him that your not trying to marry him off lol... maybe try spending a little less time together, maybe leave it to him more to get in touch etc?

Reply 2

ssk2

Not to belittle your relationship, but a few months isn't exactly that serious. Maybe that's part of the problem? You're building a few months into something that scares him, when really, there is no need.

Reply 3

Profesh

Deny him things that he takes for granted; he'll soon come around to the fact that relationships are built upon compromise, and that he cannot expect to have his cake and eat it too (which, given your current de facto 'relationship' scenario, he basically is).

A phobia is by definition an irrational fear, after all; if you could persuade him out of it, it wouldn't be such. Rather, he needs sufficient incentive to 'bite the bullet' and confront this ridiculous aversion head-on.

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Helping Mr Commitmentphobe

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