Get help with your university decisions here! TSR Decisions Drop In 2025

Not had fun for years

For the past 4 years Ive just been stuck in my room every night, I didn't go to uni and although I have collegues I don't actually have any friends who ring me and say 'are you comming out tonight'. So Ive not been going out or enjoyed myself for 4 years lol. The only times I go out is to concerts with family (usually something along the lines of war of the worlds). Im about to start a new job as a support worker in a hospital but how can I attempt to make friends there when I'l be asked to work at different areas all the time? Im already in 2 sports clubs but they wouldn't class me as a friend. Im 23 and people don't believe me when I tell them my age they think im about 14. Ive got less social skills than a 14 year old probably cause I don't socialise. Ive tried chatting in chat rooms over the last 2 years and have found people from my town who want to meet up but they are the opposite sex and want to go out with me rather than just be friends, so its put me off. I can feel the pressure building up and am annoyed that my youth has been wasted wishing I could go out and being sat at home bored.

What can I do? I wish I could just go shopping and meet someone but how do I do this? They would think I was strange 'hi, do you want to be friends' :confused:

Reply 1

Citizen Zero

Start afresh and join a completely new club maybe; get a change of surroundings?

Reply 2

suicidal_dream

....join friends reunited and get talking to the people you used to be friends with?

Reply 3

sawyer

You say youve wasted your youth, but its never to late while your still alive! just try be more social with people you already know. Maybe try invite yourself to nights out to get the ball rolling rather than waiting to be invited.

Reply 4

matt@internet

Guy or girl?

Reply 5

thebarmaidsmiles

sawyer

You say youve wasted your youth, but its never to late while your still alive!

I understand a lot of what you're saying. I've never been the girl someone rings up and says hey what are we doing tonight? Let's face it, some of us just have to do it for ourselves.

Right, well don't write off your job in friend-making terms yet. If you're moving around so much then you can take advantage of the fact you can be whatever you want to be. Give it a shot, even just once, when you're put somewhere new picture someone confident in your head and 'be' them. You'll get to meet so many people moving around, it might be just what you need rather than being stuck in one place at work as well as at home.

Mention to people about going to the pub after work, or after the sports thing.

Have a look at the local college/community centre for random courses you could join. Drama is a really good one, scary as hell when you start but can be really liberating to just focus on something fun and light for an hour or so.

The main thing to remember is it sometimes takes ages to make friends. I'm in a new uni an I'm finding it the same, just going out one night with some people and feeling it's not going anywhere. But you/we don't know that. It's all about patience. But on top of that you never know who's around the corner. I met one of my best mates on the train two years ago, just at a time when I was about to give up.

Nothing's wasted, try and be positive and et out as much as possible, even if it's only crappy stuff like going to the shop or a wander around town. You won't be on your own forever. There are too many people in the world to bump into!