what to do on this date?

please keep anon as i have friends that post here and it'd be quite embarassing that I'm asking for date advice, thanks

basically im meeting a girl tomorrow for drinks/a bite to eat - do i buy her the drinks and food? i was thinking of buying the drinks and then maybe buying our own food but i dunno what the "done thing" is?

also, how does it end? if she stays, then i'm hardly gonna get up and leave, particularly if she's as nice as i remember her being. should i "leave her waiting for more" and leave after a few hours if she doesnt? and if she chooses to leave, should i say "this was fun, we should do it again etc"?

never had a date before before so im a bit at a loss :confused:

thanks

Reply 1

Cherry Kisses

13

leave where? the resturant?

Buy the drinks and offer to buy the food and if she has a concience she will offter to go halves with you or each pay your own way, see how it goes

Reply 2

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

no, you make her beg for half an hour with you to get enough money before you go in =P

yeh... paying is curteous :smile:

Reply 3

SmilerNuts

15

Generally people leave restaurants after they finish eating, they don't often sit there for hours, awkwardly waiting for someone to leave :p:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

its not a restaurant, a bar. we were just gonna grab some snacks i think with our drinks.

Reply 5

SmilerNuts

15

Depends on your definition of snacks. If it was crisps and stuff then I'd say you should pay, if it's a full meal then go halfers.
Just sit and chat, if it's getting late or you're not enjoying yourself then offer to take her home, then she's not being ditched in the bar alone.

Reply 6

Dionysus

15

Buy her drinks etc - although she might insist on paying herself, which is fine. The end is the easy bit - you just offer to walk her home, she says you don't have to even if she's desperate for you, you insist, then at the door she either invites you in (Christmas has come early) or kisses you goodnight (maybe next time). If she does neither, she's either very shy / takes it slow or has decided against you.

Reply 7

Hylean

15

Dionysus

If she does neither, she's either very shy / takes it slow or has decided against you.

and you'll never know until you pluck up the courage to ask her out again!

how many days do you wait until you call, etc.

dating is an emotional minefield.

just be yourself, mate. relax and try to enjoy yourself. she'll be just as nervous as you.

Reply 8

Cherry Kisses

13

And dont seem too easy to get :smile:

Take things slowely, dont 'invite her in for a coffee' if you know what i mean, but instead say youd like to do this again some time and see if shes keen. And if she is keen then phone her to arrange it the following day; not leaving it for too long.

Reply 9

mikeski

3

You should pay :smile:

Although I'm the guy and I never pay... Probz because I date other guys :biggrin:

Haha

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

she lives literally about 2 minutes from the bar, wont i seem kinda slimy if i offer to walk her home?

Reply 11

Hylean

15

2 minutes is enough to be mugged/beat up/dragged into a corner and raped. no, it is not.

plus, a lot of it is in offering, not in actually doing. that does count, though.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

we're meeting in the early afternoon so it won't be dark - won't it be odd?

Reply 13

JC.

19

As much as girls like to play the feminist card in that they are equal to or better than men, IMHO they LOVE acts of chivalry.

When i take a girl out on a date, I will pick her up and take her home. On the way to the venue I will always drive as smoothly as possible as if there was an egg on the passenger seat.
Always open the door first for your passenger. Especially if its raining.

When I take a girl out i will ALWAYS pay for a meal. To my mind it shouldn't even come up in conversation. I allowed a girl to take me out for a meal and pay once. I didnt like it. I felt bad and it felt wrong.

If its rained whilst you are in the resteraunt and your date has come in a skimpy little dress and nothing more give her your jacket for the walk back to the car. You don't need it. You're a bloke and can deal with the cold and wet for a bit. Besides, once you're back to the car if you are cold you can put the heater on! Its just a little thing to let her know you care and its the little things that count.

Personally, if I am taking a girl out on a date as long as you are a) making sure she is safe and comfortable and b) spoiling her c) having a mutually good time, then you are doing the right thing.

To my mind, ALL girls are princesses and should be treated accordingly.
Others may not share this view, but it's the one I work to and the one i'm sticking with.

-JC

Reply 14

mc_watson87

18

Nice post, although a bit sickly towards the end. ^

Reply 15

SmilerNuts

15

Anonymous

we're meeting in the early afternoon so it won't be dark - won't it be odd?

You plan to get drunk in early afternoon? Score.
It's the thought that counts mate.

Reply 16

elziebelzie

12

JC.

As much as girls like to play the feminist card in that they are equal to or better than men, IMHO they LOVE acts of chivalry.

When i take a girl out on a date, I will pick her up and take her home. On the way to the venue I will always drive as smoothly as possible as if there was an egg on the passenger seat.
Always open the door first for your passenger. Especially if its raining.

When I take a girl out i will ALWAYS pay for a meal. To my mind it shouldn't even come up in conversation. I allowed a girl to take me out for a meal and pay once. I didnt like it. I felt bad and it felt wrong.

If its rained whilst you are in the resteraunt and your date has come in a skimpy little dress and nothing more give her your jacket for the walk back to the car. You don't need it. You're a bloke and can deal with the cold and wet for a bit. Besides, once you're back to the car if you are cold you can put the heater on! Its just a little thing to let her know you care and its the little things that count.

Personally, if I am taking a girl out on a date as long as you are a) making sure she is safe and comfortable and b) spoiling her c) having a mutually good time, then you are doing the right thing.

To my mind, ALL girls are princesses and should be treated accordingly.
Others may not share this view, but it's the one I work to and the one i'm sticking with.

-JC

Reply 17

dita_parlo

11

IMO, I would HATE a date like JC. has described (no offence!); just shows how different women can be. I would OFFER to pay for the drinks/food... Just see how things are going, don't plan too much, let the date take you and see where it leads. Spontaneous is best IMO :smile:

Reply 18

dumbdunc

I'll offer to do the things JC suggests, but if the girl refuses to accept the offer/ attempts to force money on me more than twice I just give up. There's a limit to attempting to be gentlemanly!

That and generally on the first date I'd expect us to end up splitting roughly halfs, e.g say I'm going to the cinema I'll buy the tickets she grabs the snacks (which actually results in me paying about 2/3 :p:

). So in this case I'd say you buy the drinks, and if she offers let her buy the snacks.

Reply 19

qubog

12

I'd say you should just offer to pay. She's almost certain to say oh no, i'll get this one. Its a bit awkward when one party insists on buying every single thing. Unless you go out for a big meal then one person should pay for it, i'm not suggesting you get the calculator out and say "so you had the salmon..."

what to do on this date?

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