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How to measure penis

Right so a girl I'm talking to has recently asked how big I am down below, however, I have never measured before so I haven't replied. I've now set out the task to measure it but I keep getting different measurements depending on where I place the ruler.

Along the top: 14cm
Along the side: 17cm
Along the underneath: 12.5cm

Guys, if you was to measure your junk how would you do it and to everyone (guys & girls) what measurement do you think I should tell her?
Reply 1
These measurements are when erect btw.
The classic measurement is along what you're probably calling the underneath - the side you look down on when it's erect and you're standing up - because there are two obvious end points: the very end of the penis and where it makes an angle when it joins your body.
my penis is 3" soft but about 8" hard. as long as it fits and ur girl likes it, it dont matter. just have fun when u have sex
I'd measure along the top I think. You beat me!

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