How can I avoid getting in the wrong relationships

I wish I knew a few years ago how to take more control. I've just been involved in some totally empty relationships with people of the opposite sex, who didn't understand me at all, with whom i had nothing in common, yet they seemed to just latch on to me, and dervie more pleasure from it than me and i wasn't assertive enough to get rid of them. Why do the wrong people latch on to me?
Why when inside I felt I was hating being with them and exasperated with these people did they persist,and did I not convey that it wasn't doing anything for me? Why do I get involved with people who just take? How can I get back to a meaningful relationship? Because 0f a few treasured friendships I've had, I've seen how good things can be, but other pushy people seem to impose themselves on me and ruin things. Don't quite know whats wrong but something is.

It's maybe not clear so if anyone can help me elaborate or has similar experience i'd be grateful.

Reply 1

miki_da_magpie

I know what exactly what you mean OP, but am afraid I have no advice on getting away from the cycle....

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Least i know I'm not alone. What I can't figure is that if deep down I know the relationship is empty and meaningless, how does that not manage to show to them, what do they get oput of it and why do they impose themselves on me. I must just not deal with it assertively enough I think, my thoughts feel locked up and then I become a prisoner of the relationship just going along with it as it's company. I know I shouldn't, it sounds obvious, but in reality I don't find a way to deal with this 'cycle'

Reply 3

username47781

Important thing in a relationship is not to rush and get to know the other person.

Reply 4

miki_da_magpie

Mhm, I hate how it seems to all come from one side... just working so hard to keep it right, but no matter how hard you try, it seems to keep ****ing up. In the end I just get so ****ing frustrated and needy with them... its bad. Problem is I keep thinking its gunna be better...