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Split and now so utterly depressed
i split up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago and i know ive made a huge mistake. i cant eat i cant sleep and he doesnt want me anymore. we went out for 7 months and he loved me so much and i ruined everything all i ever did was push him away and have arguments with him and now its over and he seems glad to have got rid of me and im still so in love with him. i sent him a letter today to say sorry but his not bothered. he has nothing to say to me. and i just want to curl up and sleep for a long time because these feelings are crushing me. i keep crying and i cant think of anything but him. im so consumed with thoughts of him. ive started taking anti depressants to make the pain go away. i dont want to feel like this anymore, i feel so alone. i dont want o go out i dont want to do anything. im so so unhappy.
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Reply 1
I sorry you feel so low...
I dont know much about breakups so I can only try to imagine what you are feeling.
Out of intrest why did you break up with him in the first place?
Was it because you didn't know how much you loved him at the time?
What was your Ex's response to the letter.
If it was bad then I suppose the only thing you can do is take one day art a time.
I know it will be hard but you should go out, try to enjoy yourself and maybe use some retail therepy or something.
Have you got many friends you can talk to?
I dont know much about breakups so I can only try to imagine what you are feeling.
Out of intrest why did you break up with him in the first place?
Was it because you didn't know how much you loved him at the time?
What was your Ex's response to the letter.
If it was bad then I suppose the only thing you can do is take one day art a time.
I know it will be hard but you should go out, try to enjoy yourself and maybe use some retail therepy or something.
Have you got many friends you can talk to?
Reply 2
why did you split up, what was the reason you actually gave?
Reply 3
i thought he made me unhappy when in reality i was making myself unhappy. its complicated. i have major trust issus and it just drove us apart in the end. i take totally 100% blame for it. im so stupid. thanks for the replies yeah i have friends its hard thought cause most of them have serious byfriends now and the worst part it by some strange reason we all met our boyfriends around the same time its hard going out now to see them being happy and talking about being happy. ive been okay for the past few weeks but yesterday it just hit me what ive actualy done now i feel so guilty we could have given each other so much but i never let it hapen 
Reply 4
you probably feel so bad because its been building up for a while. My advice would be don't try and hide it away from people, not even the guy you split with. if he sees how upset you are, then he might realise that you truly feel like you've made a mistake. But you have to think, if you could get him back, would you really be able to treat him differently? or would things just end up being like they were and being the reason why you split.
Sorry i cant be of anymore help, but just try not to beat yourself up over it. There are reasons for everything that happens, and sometimes you just cant help the way you feel. Tell your friends how you feel too, if theyre true friends they will realise them being with their boyfriends all the time will make you feel uncomfortable. X
Sorry i cant be of anymore help, but just try not to beat yourself up over it. There are reasons for everything that happens, and sometimes you just cant help the way you feel. Tell your friends how you feel too, if theyre true friends they will realise them being with their boyfriends all the time will make you feel uncomfortable. X
Reply 5
What's done is done, and you can't make him forgive you. The best thing you can do having said sorry is to give him his space and if he decides he wants to be with you again he'll come back to you. As for how you can make yourself feel better, it depends on whether you're the type of person who feels better for being on your own, listening to miserable songs and going for long walks by yourself or getting drunk with your friends.
Reply 6
[Please don;t de-anon as I have family who may read this post and I'd rather they didn;t know I wrote it. Thanks.]
I was in a similar situation a couple of months ago. I had been with my boyfriend for a year and we broke up due to a number of reasons. Like yours mine just forgot about it all so quickly and still today nearly three months since we split it still hurts.
Sometimes you'll have good days other times you'll have bad. Just keep busy, make sure you're doing something whether its watching rubbish on TV or going out or something. It will help if you can talk to a friend and having them as a shoulder to cry on really helps. They're likely to take your mind off him and make you feel better. Try your hardest not to think about him. Even if you have to consciencly force yourself, its better than constantly thinking about him.
I think whats made things better for me is that I've decided to focus all my energy into my studies and I've found someone to replace him. Straight after we split it was my best friend who I was stuck to and who distracted me from it all. But now its another guy who is just being a really good friend.
Maybe try to hate him. Think about all the bad things about him and what made you want to push him away. Make a list of all the things you didn't like about the relationship. I found that when I first broke up with my ex I forgot about everything that I hated about our relationship (because obviously none are perfect). It took me a while to remember that I wasn't missing out on much. As soon as we broke up I thought the world was over because I had obviously lost someone who I valued. Eventually it became clearer that I was better off without him.
Not really sure if my advice will be any use as I'm still not over my ex.
Just wondering how old you are?
I was in a similar situation a couple of months ago. I had been with my boyfriend for a year and we broke up due to a number of reasons. Like yours mine just forgot about it all so quickly and still today nearly three months since we split it still hurts.
Sometimes you'll have good days other times you'll have bad. Just keep busy, make sure you're doing something whether its watching rubbish on TV or going out or something. It will help if you can talk to a friend and having them as a shoulder to cry on really helps. They're likely to take your mind off him and make you feel better. Try your hardest not to think about him. Even if you have to consciencly force yourself, its better than constantly thinking about him.
I think whats made things better for me is that I've decided to focus all my energy into my studies and I've found someone to replace him. Straight after we split it was my best friend who I was stuck to and who distracted me from it all. But now its another guy who is just being a really good friend.
Maybe try to hate him. Think about all the bad things about him and what made you want to push him away. Make a list of all the things you didn't like about the relationship. I found that when I first broke up with my ex I forgot about everything that I hated about our relationship (because obviously none are perfect). It took me a while to remember that I wasn't missing out on much. As soon as we broke up I thought the world was over because I had obviously lost someone who I valued. Eventually it became clearer that I was better off without him.
Not really sure if my advice will be any use as I'm still not over my ex.
Just wondering how old you are?
Reply 7
im 23. i think my main worry is that i will never meet anyone else. im such a fussy cow and im not at uni anymore it just feels so hard to meet people, i dont know maybe becuase i havent been out there for the past 7 months actually looking. i feel like i will have to start al over again and instead of that being exciting i just dread it. so much hard work when all i want to do now is nothing. he seems to be making the most of our time apart thought as his out all the time. ive been out too i've hardly sat in its just this whole thing hit me yesterday after 3 long weeks and i just feel overwelmed with the crushing feelings. oh dear how dramatic of me, its just how i feel : (
Reply 8
i totally and completely understand how your feeling right now and nothing that people here say will make the pain go away. But i promise it does get easier with time. Ive been split up with my ex for 3/4months now and i feel a lot better. Sometimes i still get sad now and again but thats fine. You never know perhaps he just needs some space and you'll get back together but if not, just look after yourself and surrond yourself with people who care about you and will support you 
If your friends are real friends they wont go on about how happy they are with thier bf's. Good luck and you'll be fiiine 
xXx
If your friends are real friends they wont go on about how happy they are with thier bf's. Good luck and you'll be fiiine xXxReply 9
Are you actually suffering from depression? because that seems likely why you pushed your boyfriend away and ended up finishing with you.
At the end of the day I know it's horrible what is done has now been done, as someone said further up, unfortunatly you can't make him come back to you as he's probably very hurt as well.
At the end of the day I know it's horrible what is done has now been done, as someone said further up, unfortunatly you can't make him come back to you as he's probably very hurt as well.
Reply 10
ah thanks everyone first time my moods been lifted in two days, ive not eaten a meal : ( even my mum has said shes never seen me like this before. my firends are lovely and they never rub it in my face i can just tell there happy, and i should be happy for them but it just reminds me of my ex so much that whole time. oh well maybe ill feel better when my anti depressants kick in only been on them for about 4 or 5 days. thanks x
Reply 11
yes i sffer from slight depression i can get in to very black points where i just cry all the time and he grew very tired of that. it is totally my own fault i hold my hands up to that. i just push people and push and push to see if they will stay with me or not. i suppose im very insecure and i never knew it. my dad left when i was tounger and i never saw him again and i never realised it affected me until yesterday i finally took a look at myself and realised what i'd been doing i just feel so ashamed thats whats making me feel so much worse.
Reply 12
what is op? no i never had that sort of trust issue where i thought he was cheating never, i suppose i didnt trust him with my feelings which in a way is worse. its hard to explain.
Reply 13
OP = orginial poster. Did he know you was suffering from depression?
Reply 14
Amyamyxxx
i split up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago and i know ive made a huge mistake. i cant eat i cant sleep and he doesnt want me anymore. we went out for 7 months and he loved me so much and i ruined everything all i ever did was push him away and have arguments with him and now its over and he seems glad to have got rid of me and im still so in love with him. i sent him a letter today to say sorry but his not bothered. he has nothing to say to me. and i just want to curl up and sleep for a long time because these feelings are crushing me. i keep crying and i cant think of anything but him. im so consumed with thoughts of him. ive started taking anti depressants to make the pain go away. i dont want to feel like this anymore, i feel so alone. i dont want o go out i dont want to do anything. im so so unhappy.
Unhappy(OP) the route cause i feel can be financial they say money is the route to all evil so try going out and basically go meet new people make friends! ^ & go enjoy your freedom of choice...
Reply 15
oh thanks. yeah he knew i was depressed he said that it was getting him down, i feel sorry for him, what a waste of 7 months for him.
Reply 16
I can't help but feel he could have been a little more supportive of you.
Reply 17
no i was a complete nightmare he ws supportive of me in the beginning but towards the end he was just like im not your therapist so basically i use to dump all my **** on him and he couldnt cope anymoe
Reply 18
Guess he didn't have the patience so much in the end. Dealing with someone depression does require a lot of support and patience, and it's not something you choose to have.
Unfortunatly my relationship with my ex broke down due to her being depressed and same as you, she said she didn't want a relationship no more.
Unfortunatly my relationship with my ex broke down due to her being depressed and same as you, she said she didn't want a relationship no more.
Reply 19
I felt exactly the way you did when I broke up with my ex. I had no appetite, sometimes felt physically sick, and I hated waking up in the morning because it was so much less painful while I was asleep. That passed after about 2 months, though, and it should do the same for you.
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