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Making 'best' friends

I like to think i'm good at making friends. The thing is that i'm starting to notice that people who i'm friends with are still my friend but their not close to me. I think it's that i just can't make 'best' friends. Is there anything you can do and does anybody else feel like it???

-Please keep anonymous, thanks :smile:

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Reply 1

HacklyFracture

I know what you mean. All my friends seem to have a 'best' friend... and it's not me. :s-smilie:

I try not to class friends as 'best friend' or anything but they do and I know I'm not as close to any of them as they are to their other friends.

All you can do I suppose is keep talking to them, make arrangements to meet them, discover things you have in common and can do together and see if that helps to get closer to them.

Reply 2

L i b

I'm rather greedy when it comes to 'best friends'.

I usually expect to have two: a flavour of the month one, and an overall one who I've known since I was very young.

Reply 3

southernlight

i'm exactly the same as you too... i have lots of friends, but although i consider a few of them to be my closest friends, i know i'm not their closest friend...

Reply 4

Creole

Share something intimate with them? That's a good way to make good friends, as opposed to people you just say hi to.

But my actual best friend I have known all my life (practically), I don't think i'll meet anyone who I am as good friends with, the fact that we grew up together, I think makes it different from anything else.

Reply 5

TKnightrider

I have had very close friends (2 of them) since year 7. We have been great pals and they still are. I have a new best pal i really got to know like 2 years ago and hes the best just like the other two. I just find my best friends are the closest to me. The others are still the greatest its just these three are my closest.

Reply 6

Fingers and bones

I've got close 'best' friends and just friends. I think just getting closer would be best for the realtionship(s) to develop.

Reply 7

noodles!

Best friends is a tricky subject I suppose. Depends on whether you see a best friend as THE best, ie. only one of them, or a small number, say, three.

I have 3 people I would consider best friends and one of them the best from them. However I am none of their ultimate BEST friends, but I am one of their best friends if that makes sense.

However regarding making best friends, I think it just happens, it's not just like walking up to someone and saying hi and being able to talk about general stuff, you have to bother to get to know the person and be there for them etc etc.

Reply 8

spartakist

you cant really force something like that, itll either happen gradually or youll just click with someone, and even then it wont be immediate. be patient, youll find someone soon enough :smile:

edited cos i cant type

Reply 9

Ashes_to_Ashes

I have a group of about 5-7 best friends with other very good mates who are kind of in the group too. It's better than just having one best friend :smile:

I used to and well, I don't know, I prefer being quite equal good friends with my group, although I'm slightly closer to some due to the fact I've known them longer.

Reply 10

mollymustard

Hmm Im not to keen on having best friends. They always seem to let you down or irritate you beyond belief at some point. At least if you've got a selection of lots of different friends you've always got someone to have a laugh with.

I havnt had a Best Friend since Primary School and its never been a disadvantage. I've always had more than one person who can/will be there for me and I get 10x as much gossip!

In answer to your question though, I dont think theres anything you can do to get a best friend. Sometimes you just meet someone who you can tell anything and everything and you just click. It just happens and kind of randomly.

Reply 11

as cruel as school children

i have one best mate, and some other close mates which i'd call "one of my best mates". i don't think you can actually seek 'best' mates, they just 'happen'.

Reply 12

fatal

i clicked with someone , i love him so deeply and he knows me inside out, hes in edinburgh and im in ireland :frown:

Reply 13

Rooftopcowboy

id say it takes time, years in fact.

to be truly 'best' friends you have to go through the good times and the bad times together etc which just cant happen quickly im afraid.

Reply 14

Cj-Tj

A best mate takes years to form, they are the kind of people you can ring up after 3 months and appart from a quick "hello, hows things been?" go straight into a conversation as if youve never been away. They type of people that are always there when things go seriously pete tong, to offer advice and to take the piss out of.

Im pleased to have 2, an ex-gf and a lad ive known for 10 years, both are complete legends to me.

Reply 15

burningnun

I have a few best friends. None of the guys I have known all my life are really 'best friends' with me anymore. We have a laugh and see each other around school, but generally we tend to hang out with different groups.

(I think this is my first ever serious post in this section)

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

I have a few best friends.

Just never ever go out with them once you get them. You'll miss em like hell when you break up :smile:

Reply 17

fatal

im rubbish at making close friends :smile:

hopefully as i get older i'll find it easier x

Reply 18

*starry_eyed_*

I don't do best friends. In the past 10 years or so, I've called 3 people my best friend...and they've all betrayed me. Best friends aren't worth the effort.

Reply 19

CheesyBeans

I don't see the big deal with wanting to have a best friend...I find it all a bit like being in primary school. Despite that I can honestly say that my boyfriend is my best friend and apart from him I really couldn't give a toss whether I had a friend I would consider my best friend. Very close relationships with friends have to grow and develop from something. You can't just decide who your best friend will be one day like in school. I would say a true "best friend" is someone you can trust with anything, you know will always be there for you and you can really enjoy their company even if you're just sat watching telly together... just things like that rather than someone who you get drunk with the most.