Girls - need your help

I broke up with my ex some time ago, but unfortunately she was like a drug and any time we were out in town and I'd see her, I'd end up spending most of the night with her and usually going back to her place.

Anyway, we stopped speaking to each other for a while, as I suggested we left each other alone as we agreed not to get into a relationship and felt it was best for the both of us. However, I then went to visit a friend at the same Uni she started going to this year, and ended up sleeping with her again. I'm fully aware this was a stupid thing to do and I'm extremely regretful of having done it!

Anyway, we agreed not to text each other for a while and decide what we both wanted. Recently (which is two months after having last seen each other) we've been talking and I've done my best to make it clear to her I don't want a relationship. I've tried to tell her she deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her, but she seemingly doesn't get the message as she keeps talking about "us", and saying that maybe when we're back home at Christmas, things will be different.

I feel like a right moron for treating her badly in some respects, but I'm trying to right my wrong and she won't take the hint!

What would you suggest I do to let her down gently, and have any of you ever been in a similar situation the other way around?

Reply 1

danni_bella

17

EDIT: Try to cut all ties :smile:

Reply 2

ßlαcksωαn

17

Firstly you need to contain yourself around her. If you don't want her then stop giving her the signs that you do.
Second, "I'd like us just to be friends"
something along those lines...

Reply 3

Trigger

18

I cant see her getting the message when you constantly use her for sex.

Reply 4

Bubblebee

15

Sorry but you can't blame the girl. If you don't want to be with her STOP BlOODY ****ING HER!! She obviously likes you still and if you are giving her all the ok go signals she won't get it. Stop shagging her and she might get the message.

Reply 5

EsStupido

OP

I've tried the: "Let's be friends" line via text msgs, but she doesn't seem to understand. She keeps telling me that we can be together, and that we should just wait and see till we're back home at Christmas and whatnot.

I think I'm going to have to be brutally honest. But we've been on and off for about 8 years so it'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Blackswan: Can't help it man, it's the alcohol! I'll get a list of where she's going when we're both out and avoid it like the plague. :wink:

Reply 6

danni_bella

17

Trigger

I cant see her getting the message when you constantly use her for sex.

Oh I didn't read that, really?? I'm at work, so replied to it in my 5 min break :biggrin:

But I think I was right in saying cut all ties, I defo stand by that. And OP you should ASAP!

Reply 7

EsStupido

OP

Abeille

Sorry but you can't blame the girl. If you don't want to be with her STOP BlOODY ****ING HER!! She obviously likes you still and if you are giving her all the ok go signals she won't get it. Stop shagging her and she might get the message.

To be fair, I completely understand what you mean. But it really isn't like that at all.

I don't do any of the chasing and I can't help the fact that she comes onto me. I know I should walk away, but it's harder than you think at times.

It's also not a case of me using her for sex. I hadn't spoken to her for 2 months prior to a few days ago when lo and behold she starts texting me about "us".

Reply 8

Trigger

18

Dont blame alcohol for you lack of self control

Reply 9

ßlαcksωαn

17

I think you just wanna be "fark buddies" right?

Reply 10

EsStupido

OP

Trigger

Dont blame alcohol for you lack of self control

That was a joke. :|

I'm fully aware it's nobodies but my fault. But, as I've explained, even when we don't speak for months, when I see her out of the blue, it's as if nothing has happened or changed and she wants to be together again. I'm finding it really hard to tell her that it's over.

Blackswan: I don't anymore. I feel guilty about it all, as she's either becoming increasingly deluded about the whole situation, or she doesn't care. Either way she deserves better and to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with her. I've even told her this, but she seems to gloss over it and ignore what I've said!

Reply 11

Kagutsuchi

20

Well it's obviously hard for her to understand that it's over, seen as though you shag her every time you see her.

God, it's like talking to a horny chimp.

Reply 12

EsStupido

OP

Think I'll edit my first post as people are getting the wrong end of the stick.

Reply 13

Kagutsuchi

20

It's pretty clear to me.

Reply 14

ßlαcksωαn

17

I think you're to blame mate and therefore you have to fix what you've done...

Reply 15

Nix!

11

Trigger

Dont blame alcohol for you lack of self control

Hmm, what's your excuse then?

Reply 16

ßlαcksωαn

17

lol

Reply 17

matt@internet

12

I think maybe get your mates to watch you whenever you run into her and to make sure you don't end up sleeping with her.

Reply 18

EsStupido

OP

matt@internet

I think maybe get your mates to watch you whenever you run into her and to make sure you don't end up sleeping with her.

You're all putting far too much emphasis on the sleeping together bit.

I've edited my first post, so hopefully you'll all understand a little bit better.

Reply 19

Kagutsuchi

20

EsStupido

You're all putting far too much emphasis on the sleeping together bit.

I've edited my first post, so hopefully you'll all understand a little bit better.

Oh I see!

You just want a solution and not reflect upon your actions!

In that case, just tell her that you lot are friends! and nothing more any more.

I assume she's not stupid so she should get the message.

Girls - need your help

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