What's a normal amount of time to last in bed?

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mrsuperguy
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I've been thinking recently about how when I 1st start having sex, I'm probably not gonna last very long. And then I got thinking about how long is actually normal. 5, 10 minutes? Half hour, and hour? Or if you spend several hours having sex does that mean you go several times? Because according to what some people have told me, it takes a while after having sex before you can go again. I really have no idea.
And as a side question, tips on lasting longer than I inevitably otherwise will on my 1st time?

Cheers
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DrawTheLine
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There isn't really a normal amount. I think the average is about 20-30 minutes, but I'm not sure. It all depends on you and your partner and what you like and want to do. 5 minutes is perfectly normal, but then so is several hours if that is your thing.

Yes, once you and your partner finish, there is a refractory period where it takes a while until your nerves can be stimulated again. That's perfectly normal and can last minutes to hours, depending on the person.

Don't worry too much about how long you last. But if you want to kill 2 birds with 1 stone, use condoms that have a numbing lube in them. That will reduce the sensitivity of your nerves and help you last longer. Have fun!
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Anonymous #1
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'Normal' doesn't mean anything but I would say about 10-15min. More than that it gets boring imo
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Devify
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There's really no specific number. Keep in mind that when people say how long the sex lasts, it usually includes foreplay and things like that. The actual penetration part of sex lasts like 5min average or something along those lines.

All advice I can give you is just take your time with foreplay and if you want to last longer, if you feel close, just slow down for a bit, maybe change up the positions give yourself a moment to calm down.
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unprinted
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As long as you both want it to. This is one thing where what other people do really has no relevance.

It's quite possible that you won't ejaculate the first time you have partner sex. The physical sensations of vaginal and oral sex are distinctly different to those of masturbation, especially if you use a 'hard and fast' hand action or masturbate by rubbing against something.
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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
There isn't really a normal amount. I think the average is about 20-30 minutes, but I'm not sure. It all depends on you and your partner and what you like and want to do. 5 minutes is perfectly normal, but then so is several hours if that is your thing.

Yes, once you and your partner finish, there is a refractory period where it takes a while until your nerves can be stimulated again. That's perfectly normal and can last minutes to hours, depending on the person.

Don't worry too much about how long you last. But if you want to kill 2 birds with 1 stone, use condoms that have a numbing lube in them. That will reduce the sensitivity of your nerves and help you last longer. Have fun!
I didn't know that was a thing. I thought thicker condoms was the trick. Any advice on where one could get thicker condoms or ones with a numbing lube in?

(Original post by Anonymous)
'Normal' doesn't mean anything but I would say about 10-15min. More than that it gets boring imo
haha fairs

(Original post by Devify)
There's really no specific number. Keep in mind that when people say how long the sex lasts, it usually includes foreplay and things like that. The actual penetration part of sex lasts like 5min average or something along those lines.

All advice I can give you is just take your time with foreplay and if you want to last longer, if you feel close, just slow down for a bit, maybe change up the positions give yourself a moment to calm down.
I actually didn't know that. huh, learn something new everyday.

(Original post by unprinted)
As long as you both want it to. This is one thing where what other people do really has no relevance.

It's quite possible that you won't ejaculate the first time you have partner sex. The physical sensations of vaginal and oral sex are distinctly different to those of masturbation, especially if you use a 'hard and fast' hand action or masturbate by rubbing against something.
Yeah I've heard that. Apparently it's also common for girls not to have orgasm the 1st time because of stress.


(this is addressed to everyone) cheers guys!
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DrawTheLine
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A chemist sells them, so do supermarkets. Or if you want to be discreet then Amazon do.
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Devify
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Condoms are pretty easy, durex mutual climax has numbing lube inside and ribbed outside to give the girl more pleasure. Ribbed also usually means a bit thicker.

I would also say don't worry too much about finishing too quick. Remember that she's not just there for your pleasure and once you're done, try to help her out with your hands. Don't feel scared to ask her to show you what she likes, it might be a bit awkward at first but it's the best way to learn.

Also, statistics are pretty high for women who never had orgasms even after years of having sex so not everyone​ can manage that. Only minority can actually finish just purely from penetration and even less can do so from playing with their breasts. Most will require clitoris stimulation.

But yeah, if people say they usually have sex for like 2 hours. They probably means some foreplay, round of actual sex, then probably some cuddling or soft foreplay for a bit until they're recovered, then actual sex again and so on. Recovery speed varies by guy tho, some can go again in like 5 minutes, others may need 30.
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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by Devify)
Condoms are pretty easy, durex mutual climax has numbing lube inside and ribbed outside to give the girl more pleasure. Ribbed also usually means a bit thicker.

I would also say don't worry too much about finishing too quick. Remember that she's not just there for your pleasure and once you're done, try to help her out with your hands. Don't feel scared to ask her to show you what she likes, it might be a bit awkward at first but it's the best way to learn.

Also, statistics are pretty high for women who never had orgasms even after years of having sex so not everyone​ can manage that. Only minority can actually finish just purely from penetration and even less can do so from playing with their breasts. Most will require clitoris stimulation.

But yeah, if people say they usually have sex for like 2 hours. They probably means some foreplay, round of actual sex, then probably some cuddling or soft foreplay for a bit until they're recovered, then actual sex again and so on. Recovery speed varies by guy tho, some can go again in like 5 minutes, others may need 30.
Cheers mate. Reckon that's saved me some future embarrassment.

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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
A chemist sells them, so do supermarkets. Or if you want to be discreet then Amazon do.
Thanks. Probably be pretty easy to get em at uni then...

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Devify
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(Original post by mrsuperguy)
Cheers mate. Reckon that's saved me some future embarrassment.
No problem, another thing I would recommend is just trying on a condom or two beforehand. Just so you're comfortable putting it on. Plus you'll be surprised by how many guys think they're average size when really they need to look into trying smaller or larger condoms.
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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by Devify)
No problem, another thing I would recommend is just trying on a condom or two beforehand. Just so you're comfortable putting it on. Plus you'll be surprised by how many guys think they're average size when really they need to look into trying smaller or larger condoms.
Actually, my county has this free condom scheme so I've had a few wanks with one, so i know how to put it on and everything. Saying that, is it normal for your load to be bigger with sex than with a ****? And what's the best technique for taking off the condom?

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unprinted
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You do not want a condom with numbing anything!

For a start, merely being rolled up means that what's on the inside gets on the outside, the bits touching your partner.

Secondly, if you want to penetrate someone without feeling anything, use a dildo. It's much easier.

If you have an issue with ejaculating sooner than you want - and you don't know that you do - then the basic cure is learning the signs of getting close, i.e. paying attention to what you're feeling, and doing something to reduce the stimulation. Using a numbing cream makes that harder.
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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by unprinted)
You do not want a condom with numbing anything!

For a start, merely being rolled up means that what's on the inside gets on the outside, the bits touching your partner.

Secondly, if you want to penetrate someone without feeling anything, use a dildo. It's much easier.

If you have an issue with ejaculating sooner than you want - and you don't know that you do - then the basic cure is learning the signs of getting close, i.e. paying attention to what you're feeling, and doing something to reduce the stimulation. Using a numbing cream makes that harder.
i don't think DrawTheLine was suggesting numbing lube for premature ejaculation, and I wasn't ever going to use them for that because as far as I'm aware it doesn't affect me. I was planning on using them the 1st few times i have sex as I get used to the sensations of it and then at some point I'll use normal ones. Also, using a dildo kinda defeats the purpose of what we've been talking about in this thread. and could you explain what you meant by the line of your comment I've made bold? Not sure if I'm mis-reading it or it just doesn't make any sense.
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unprinted
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durex mutual climax has numbing lube inside and ribbed outside to give the girl more pleasure.
This was the bit I was talking about. If it is lubricated on the inside with an anesthetic, it will be on the outside too. Try rolling up a sock: the inside of one bit ends up next to the outside of a bit further along...

(Oh, and ribs have no effect in real life - Durex were stopped from making claims otherwise because there's no evidence that they do.)
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mrsuperguy
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(Original post by unprinted)
This was the bit I was talking about. If it is lubricated on the inside with an anesthetic, it will be on the outside too. Try rolling up a sock: the inside of one bit ends up next to the outside of a bit further along...

(Oh, and ribs have no effect in real life - Durex were stopped from making claims otherwise because there's no evidence that they do.)
sorry for the constant clarification, but are you saying that any numbing lube on the inside on the condom will get on the outside and contact the inside of the partner's vagina? Because I can't see how that could possibly happen. Isn't the entire job of a condom to stop stuff from the inside getting onto the outside surface anyways.........?
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unprinted
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When it's unrolled on your penis, yes. When it's rolled up, do that 'rolling up a sock' I suggested and you'll see what I mean.
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squirtchy
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This is a topic that pops up a lot, there is no 'normal time' in all honesty, sometimes i don't last any longer than 2 minutes, sometimes 30 seconds, it is embarrassing and there isn't really much you can do about it, condoms with numbing loob may be an option, more foreplay before hand etc
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chickenwang
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(Original post by mrsuperguy)
i've been thinking recently about how when i 1st start having sex, i'm probably not gonna last very long. And then i got thinking about how long is actually normal. 5, 10 minutes? Half hour, and hour? Or if you spend several hours having sex does that mean you go several times? Because according to what some people have told me, it takes a while after having sex before you can go again. I really have no idea.
And as a side question, tips on lasting longer than i inevitably otherwise will on my 1st time?

Cheers
think of your mum and dad shagging and youll last all night. Ur **** will soon go down xxxx
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