The Student Room Group

Social Life: Help please :)

Hi, I'm a 17 year old male student at Grammar school.
Over the past 5 years due to a unique nature about me and somewhat open personality i've been open to light bullying and some abuse at school. This changed as I entered Sixth Form.

I've never been the best socially, struggled very hard to make friends and whenever anyone initiated a conversation with me I'd subconsciously shy away and end up blocking them out. This was all exposed to me after having a huge argument with an old friend who told me I was extremely good at 'blocking people out' which hurt me.

Now I find that I'm losing friends. Some people spoke to me at the start of Sixth Form to get to know me, but I fear that others wont because rumors have spread about my social anxiety, awkwardness and general dislikeability which I can't see.

This has all become so important to me as I really like a girl in my class who I used to talk to rarely, but now she seems to have found another friend who's less awkward, more attractive, probably more open and just BETTER than me. Obviously I find this frustrating.

Now she's seemed to have isolated me. I feel alone, all my friend I still have are frowned upon by other kids in the year as they're 'losers' or 'nerds' which is somewhat matching my personality but otherwise I find myself to be more interesting and outgoing than any of my friends could ever dream of being.

If anyone has any tips for me or people suffering from Social Anxiety in general, any correspondance would be appreciated. Thanks guys!
1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them, compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

9) Look outside!
Reply 2
I find it hard to believe that smiling's contagious when I look at the girl I like and she doesn't smile back.
Also I feel I am passionate about life just people don't think I'm passionate about others.
Any further help would be appreciated ^^

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending