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Newbie Songwriter - Feedback needed
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Hazzaj500
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Hi so I've really got into songwriting over the past few weeks, bad time with exam I KNOW. haha anyway im trying to go for kind of an indie/pop rock mix, haven't recorded anything yet but here are some lyrics of a song i wrote at 2am. All feedback is greatly appreciated. If it helps i admire Noel.G's and Morrissey's lyrics 
The Life that’s at your fingertips
From the moment you were born
Your destiny was sewn
It can never truly be torn
You don’t know what you are
Or what you will be
But soon enough you’ll come to see
Whether its singing or dancing
Or football or acting
One day you’lll find it out
That here’s a light that shines inside you
But it will never come on out
Until you show the world
What you’re really on about
As the journey of life
It’s personal to you
Let your own light shine through
Today not tomorrow
As all you’ll feel is sorrow
As you never reached your peak of..
Kilimanjaro
Some find their lover
Others are their own brother
Life is such a lonely path
But humanity works together
There’s exceptions
Those who cut life short
Who don’t believe in success?
For that they have no perception
No love, no acception
No acquiesce
But my friend
Fight until the end
For what you believe
Is your destiny
Before you no longer breathe
Oh oh oh
There’s a light that shines inside you
But it will never come on out
Until you show the world
What you’re really on about
As the journey of life
It’s personal to you
Let your own light shine through
Today not tomorrow
As all you’ll feel is sorrow
As you never reached your peak of..
Kilimanjaro
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Kandiman
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#2
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#2
Okay... Don't take this the wrong way... But it's good in a super-generic way. Like, if someone said "write something optimistic to inspire people. You have five minutes" this is probably what I'd expect.
The problem is that it's not subtle in any way, shape or form. There's no nuance, no symbolism, no... art to it.
Let's take a great song like... "Faith" by George Michael. The song is literally about a guy going through a relationship with someone. He sees them, fancies them, convinced himself they're too good for him and then has to remind himself to believe a little more. Then they hook up and stuff starts going wrong, so he needs "Faith" that it'll all be cool. And it is. "You gotta have faith."
If you wrote a song about that in five minutes, it wouldn't be Faith. Song writing is the art of setting poetry to music. And poetry is about subtlety and imagery.
The problem is that it's not subtle in any way, shape or form. There's no nuance, no symbolism, no... art to it.
Let's take a great song like... "Faith" by George Michael. The song is literally about a guy going through a relationship with someone. He sees them, fancies them, convinced himself they're too good for him and then has to remind himself to believe a little more. Then they hook up and stuff starts going wrong, so he needs "Faith" that it'll all be cool. And it is. "You gotta have faith."
If you wrote a song about that in five minutes, it wouldn't be Faith. Song writing is the art of setting poetry to music. And poetry is about subtlety and imagery.
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Shawn6
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Kandiman)
Okay... Don't take this the wrong way... But it's good in a super-generic way. Like, if someone said "write something optimistic to inspire people. You have five minutes" this is probably what I'd expect.
The problem is that it's not subtle in any way, shape or form. There's no nuance, no symbolism, no... art to it.
Let's take a great song like... "Faith" by George Michael. The song is literally about a guy going through a relationship with someone. He sees them, fancies them, convinced himself they're too good for him and then has to remind himself to believe a little more. Then they hook up and stuff starts going wrong, so he needs "Faith" that it'll all be cool. And it is. "You gotta have faith."
If you wrote a song about that in five minutes, it wouldn't be Faith. Song writing is the art of setting poetry to music. And poetry is about subtlety and imagery.
Okay... Don't take this the wrong way... But it's good in a super-generic way. Like, if someone said "write something optimistic to inspire people. You have five minutes" this is probably what I'd expect.
The problem is that it's not subtle in any way, shape or form. There's no nuance, no symbolism, no... art to it.
Let's take a great song like... "Faith" by George Michael. The song is literally about a guy going through a relationship with someone. He sees them, fancies them, convinced himself they're too good for him and then has to remind himself to believe a little more. Then they hook up and stuff starts going wrong, so he needs "Faith" that it'll all be cool. And it is. "You gotta have faith."
If you wrote a song about that in five minutes, it wouldn't be Faith. Song writing is the art of setting poetry to music. And poetry is about subtlety and imagery.
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