help with online harassment (very very long but i really need help)

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needadvicesos123
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I'm not using my main account for privacy concerns. I'd delete that account but idk how..also idk if this is the right forum

I've always felt really comfortable on the internet because I've had the privilege of only meeting nice, harmless people. I've never met any of those types who harass or find out personal information so they can harass family members, leak sensitive pictures etc. But recently I came into contact online with some dangerous people who looked nice on the outside but plot evil schemes on the inside for fun. They found out all kinds of personal information about me because I've always felt comfortable online and never thought anyone would want to use that information, like my name or where I live etc to harm me. They had no reason to harass me or use that information against me and they always treated me with some respect or whatever I never thought they'd ever be pushed to the point of wanting to harass me but I still kept most of the information I could private but they still found a lot of it out because I have sooo many accounts from over the years using the same username. Essentially they've found some nude pictures I posted on reddit for fun and attention and now one of those people are threatening to 'dox' me which means

doxdɒks/verbinformal
  1. search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent.


and I'm worried they know what city I'm from and are going to publish my nudes to everyone or even worse I'm worried they'll find family members or friends and ruin my life. I don't want to make a mountain out of an anthill but I dont know what to do. I've deleted my facebook account and every account of mine I can find that has my username and other information but I don't know what they already know about me or how I can protect myself. They live internationally somewhere in the US and I know virtually nothing about them. This person in particular who's targeting me, (I'll call them 'Tina') is a post-op trans woman who has a history of being an evil scheming person and frequently scams people, and even currently harasses someone else (we'll call him Steve) by sending his family members nefarious e-mails impersonating him etc. She's scammed him out of so much money because he's so scared of what she can do with all the information she has on him and he's tried to talk to the police but they haven't done anything. This has been going on for YEARS and he's still under her thumb. I'm a pre-op transgender girl and i've been trying to take time out of this year to transition and i cant handle something like this right now I dont want to be in the same boat as Steve who's trapped with no one in authority who can help him.

i dont know why i stayed in the skype group with those people but they were fun to hang out with when they weren't making elaborate schemes but I was always on guard. the reason why Tina wants to dox me is because of something I said about her. she has a penchant for making separate skype accounts and using them to harass people so when one of Tina's co-conspirators (lets call him Max) added a new random person to our separate skype group (There was some bad blood between all of us already so sometimes we split into separate skype groups or whatever. Tina wasn't in this one) I was already really suspicious that it was Tina. Some of the other people in the skype group shared my suspicion. This new person (i'll call her Tara) was nice at first but then she started spamming porn and said I had a big neck so she was obviously trying to troll and I removed her. Then someone who was speaking in a skype call said that Tara was probably a guy and I agreed and said something problematic like "yh she doesn't act like one" which Tara took offense to after Max showed her what I said. Then she suspiciously doxed me and found the nudes I still had up on the internet because I didnt realise they were still there I thought I had deleted them. and we had a three hour argument about her calling me a 'gay man' and that im not transgender because I have a penis (im pre op) etc. despite her apparent transphobic tone she was still adamant that post op transwomen were 100% women and had vaginas despite typical transphobes and gender critical feminists thinking otherwise. I thought it was really suspicious that she was transphobic towards pre-op transgender women but not post-op which was another reason why I thought it was Tina trying to troll me. The argument was going on for a long while and typically I dont like to insult people because I dont liek to contribute to the hate in the world but i'd never experience harassment like this before where someone had my nudes and access to sensitive information about me and harassed me about my appearance which is a very sensitive topic for transgender women. So thinking that it was Tina I got really defensive and started posting some pre-op pictures i had of her that she sent me (she had facial surgery) and said some mean stuff about her to try and have some control. Eventually the argument stopped but I felt so bad about what I said because I didn't really know who Tara was or if it was Tina so I messaged Tina and told her what happened thinking she'd be understanding. She was a little irritated but she didn't seem like she cared that much. That's not even the only reason why she's deciding to try and harass me now.

I have ANOTHER skype group which is full of nice harmless people I've met over the years and they're a mix of all ages, some are really young like 16. Because they're so harmless i've never felt scared telling them literally everything even the kinds of stuff I don't put on the internet so of course I told them all about my other skype group and friends (Tina, Max etc) and told them about how Tina was some funny *****y transgender girl. I also did some ***** talking about Tina behind her back to this other group because even before she decided she was going to harass/dox me she was always slyly kind of mean to me and would do things like photoshop my pictures to make me look weird and tell me what kinds of surgeries I should get to look like a girl. And other stuff too like question me if I'm really transgender or a gay man etc. So sometimes I'd vent about her being mean in my nice group chat and of course after the argument with Tara I told them what Tara said and that I thought it was Tina. which was a big mistake because this dumb 16 year old (we'll call him Jerome) somehow FOUND Tina's skype and added her and I don't know what he said to her but when Tina found out she messaged me asked who he was. And as you can see i'm typically a very honest person so I was like 'oh sorry I hope he didnt say anything weird to you. i told him about tara after the argument and how i thought it was you so now he wants to get 'revenge' even though i told him not to' and she said I was harassing her? and that she was going to sue me internationally and eventually we got into an argument where I said she was an awful person who liked to scheme to ruin people's lives and scam them behind their backs and that I was scared of her so of course I'd think Tara was her trying to harass me and then she said "you're a **** im going to dox you watch your back" etc etc and then a bunch of people with penises in their skype profile pictures started adding me and calling me and my account got suspended for spam or something. So I think she put my skype address on a sex site. Now she has it out for me and im worried for my safety but I dont know how I can get help or protect myself. And because my account is suspended I don't have any proof or anyone who will back up the things I said about Tina everything I've said is just from memory. I've been in that group for like a year and they're the kinds of people who save screenshots, edit screenshots, save pictures in special folders to use against people etc. They still have pictures of Max and his logs from back when MSN was still around. MSN!!!! I dont know what kind of stuff they have on me or what they've doctored but I have nothing because Im not that kind of person. and i dont know what to do. and i dont want to make a mountain out of an anthill by calling the police or doing something drastic or even telling my family because they're not the kinds of people who can handle that stuff or will help me. I've never trusted them with anything or anyone in real life really. it's always been online people. so im completely alone except for those harmless people from the nice skype group.

i hope someone's read this and i'd appreciate any kind of advice you can give me
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Moonstruck16
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Right first of all, stop skype groups. I know they may be support groups to you but they clearly aren't working out. Just stop talking to them, stop posting pictures, stop causing drama and stop getting involved in drama. Find real life support groups with real people.

Secondly, I didn't understand half the story but just ignore this person who is harrassing you. The beauty of the internet is that whilst the stuff you post online may not disappear, you can. Get away, stop replying and ignore. If your past eventually catches up with you then deal with that then but for now just get away from this whole situation. Turn on the internet.

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Ezisola
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Go to the police, they take this kind of thing seriously and will work with US law enforcement who also take it seriously.
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(Original post by Ezisola)
Go to the police, they take this kind of thing seriously and will work with US law enforcement who also take it seriously.
She just said that 'Steve' has gone to the police and they have done nothing? Or maybe I've misunderstood.

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Ezisola
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(Original post by Moonstruck16)
She just said that 'Steve' has gone to the police and they have done nothing? Or maybe I've misunderstood.

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That should not stop her from going to them herself.
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Moonstruck16
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(Original post by Ezisola)
That should not stop her from going to them herself.
Fair enough. I still think she should get off the internet though.

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chelseadagg3r
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(Original post by needadvicesos123)
I'm not using my main account for privacy concerns. I'd delete that account but idk how..also idk if this is the right forum

I've always felt really comfortable on the internet because I've had the privilege of only meeting nice, harmless people. I've never met any of those types who harass or find out personal information so they can harass family members, leak sensitive pictures etc. But recently I came into contact online with some dangerous people who looked nice on the outside but plot evil schemes on the inside for fun. They found out all kinds of personal information about me because I've always felt comfortable online and never thought anyone would want to use that information, like my name or where I live etc to harm me. They had no reason to harass me or use that information against me and they always treated me with some respect or whatever I never thought they'd ever be pushed to the point of wanting to harass me but I still kept most of the information I could private but they still found a lot of it out because I have sooo many accounts from over the years using the same username. Essentially they've found some nude pictures I posted on reddit for fun and attention and now one of those people are threatening to 'dox' me which means

doxdɒks/verbinformal
  1. search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent.


and I'm worried they know what city I'm from and are going to publish my nudes to everyone or even worse I'm worried they'll find family members or friends and ruin my life. I don't want to make a mountain out of an anthill but I dont know what to do. I've deleted my facebook account and every account of mine I can find that has my username and other information but I don't know what they already know about me or how I can protect myself. They live internationally somewhere in the US and I know virtually nothing about them. This person in particular who's targeting me, (I'll call them 'Tina' is a post-op trans woman who has a history of being an evil scheming person and frequently scams people, and even currently harasses someone else (we'll call him Steve) by sending his family members nefarious e-mails impersonating him etc. She's scammed him out of so much money because he's so scared of what she can do with all the information she has on him and he's tried to talk to the police but they haven't done anything. This has been going on for YEARS and he's still under her thumb. I'm a pre-op transgender girl and i've been trying to take time out of this year to transition and i cant handle something like this right now I dont want to be in the same boat as Steve who's trapped with no one in authority who can help him.

i dont know why i stayed in the skype group with those people but they were fun to hang out with when they weren't making elaborate schemes but I was always on guard. the reason why Tina wants to dox me is because of something I said about her. she has a penchant for making separate skype accounts and using them to harass people so when one of Tina's co-conspirators (lets call him Max) added a new random person to our separate skype group (There was some bad blood between all of us already so sometimes we split into separate skype groups or whatever. Tina wasn't in this one) I was already really suspicious that it was Tina. Some of the other people in the skype group shared my suspicion. This new person (i'll call her Tara) was nice at first but then she started spamming porn and said I had a big neck so she was obviously trying to troll and I removed her. Then someone who was speaking in a skype call said that Tara was probably a guy and I agreed and said something problematic like "yh she doesn't act like one" which Tara took offense to after Max showed her what I said. Then she suspiciously doxed me and found the nudes I still had up on the internet because I didnt realise they were still there I thought I had deleted them. and we had a three hour argument about her calling me a 'gay man' and that im not transgender because I have a penis (im pre op) etc. despite her apparent transphobic tone she was still adamant that post op transwomen were 100% women and had vaginas despite typical transphobes and gender critical feminists thinking otherwise. I thought it was really suspicious that she was transphobic towards pre-op transgender women but not post-op which was another reason why I thought it was Tina trying to troll me. The argument was going on for a long while and typically I dont like to insult people because I dont liek to contribute to the hate in the world but i'd never experience harassment like this before where someone had my nudes and access to sensitive information about me and harassed me about my appearance which is a very sensitive topic for transgender women. So thinking that it was Tina I got really defensive and started posting some pre-op pictures i had of her that she sent me (she had facial surgery) and said some mean stuff about her to try and have some control. Eventually the argument stopped but I felt so bad about what I said because I didn't really know who Tara was or if it was Tina so I messaged Tina and told her what happened thinking she'd be understanding. She was a little irritated but she didn't seem like she cared that much. That's not even the only reason why she's deciding to try and harass me now.

I have ANOTHER skype group which is full of nice harmless people I've met over the years and they're a mix of all ages, some are really young like 16. Because they're so harmless i've never felt scared telling them literally everything even the kinds of stuff I don't put on the internet so of course I told them all about my other skype group and friends (Tina, Max etc) and told them about how Tina was some funny *****y transgender girl. I also did some ***** talking about Tina behind her back to this other group because even before she decided she was going to harass/dox me she was always slyly kind of mean to me and would do things like photoshop my pictures to make me look weird and tell me what kinds of surgeries I should get to look like a girl. And other stuff too like question me if I'm really transgender or a gay man etc. So sometimes I'd vent about her being mean in my nice group chat and of course after the argument with Tara I told them what Tara said and that I thought it was Tina. which was a big mistake because this dumb 16 year old (we'll call him Jerome) somehow FOUND Tina's skype and added her and I don't know what he said to her but when Tina found out she messaged me asked who he was. And as you can see i'm typically a very honest person so I was like 'oh sorry I hope he didnt say anything weird to you. i told him about tara after the argument and how i thought it was you so now he wants to get 'revenge' even though i told him not to' and she said I was harassing her? and that she was going to sue me internationally and eventually we got into an argument where I said she was an awful person who liked to scheme to ruin people's lives and scam them behind their backs and that I was scared of her so of course I'd think Tara was her trying to harass me and then she said "you're a **** im going to dox you watch your back" etc etc and then a bunch of people with penises in their skype profile pictures started adding me and calling me and my account got suspended for spam or something. So I think she put my skype address on a sex site. Now she has it out for me and im worried for my safety but I dont know how I can get help or protect myself. And because my account is suspended I don't have any proof or anyone who will back up the things I said about Tina everything I've said is just from memory. I've been in that group for like a year and they're the kinds of people who save screenshots, edit screenshots, save pictures in special folders to use against people etc. They still have pictures of Max and his logs from back when MSN was still around. MSN!!!! I dont know what kind of stuff they have on me or what they've doctored but I have nothing because Im not that kind of person. and i dont know what to do. and i dont want to make a mountain out of an anthill by calling the police or doing something drastic or even telling my family because they're not the kinds of people who can handle that stuff or will help me. I've never trusted them with anything or anyone in real life really. it's always been online people. so im completely alone except for those harmless people from the nice skype group.

i hope someone's read this and i'd appreciate any kind of advice you can give me
I've been in a similar situation before. I've been threatened, stalked, and doxed. I've had people catfish me me and all sorts. The important thing to do first is stop using Skype. Seriously. If you aren't there to harass, they have nothing. The biggest mistake I ever made was staying visible on the internet in attempt to 'monitor' the situation. It made it so much worse. Don't delete your account or anything, just stop using it. I'm not sure if you said how old you are. Sorry, I'm a bit useless for little pieces of information falling out of my head like that. CEOP may be able to help you. They've helped me before, and are really brilliant. I also spoke to the police, and they referred me to CEOP. I was 16 at the time, about two weeks from 17. You can find out more about them on their website here: https://ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/. One thing I really need to stress is that you cannot continue to have contact with these people. Learn more about online safety, and stick to those rules. Even if people seem trustworthy and even share information with you, never save it and never reciprocate it.

You should also screenshot the posts you made on Reddit, so you have proof that the pictures were there if it ever gets asked about, and remove them immediately. If you can't remove them for whatever reason, find someone who can. Contact Reddit if you have to. I know it doesn't stop them having the pictures now, but it can stop people getting hold of them again in the future. I'd also run searches of your name and usernames, and see what comes up. Remove anything that you don't want people to see anymore. It can take a bit of time to comb through everything, but it's infinitely worth it. Don't be afraid to contact the website support teams to ask for help with this. You can also do some of this through Google. They won't definitely do as you ask, it depends on how they see it, but again it is worth trying. You can look into the Google part here: https://support.google.com/websearch.../3111061?hl=en.

Going to the police, or to CEOP if applicable, would not be making a mountain out of a molehill. The important thing to remember is that if they're doing it to you, they can do it to other people. They're already doing it to someone else that you know of.

I really don't understand people like that. I was really close with someone I considered like a brother. After a bit over two years, he doxed me and started doing very similar things to me like is happening to you. He tried to turn my friends and colleagues against me. It turned out he had saved every single conversation we'd had. He'd recorded all of our chats, and had been setting me up the entire time. You can't let them continue. Just disappear.

As long as you don't delete your Skype account or anything, everything that happened there should still be there. Even though it is currently suspended, that can be reversed. Just leave it suspended for now and talk to someone who knows what they're doing: the police or CEOP. You can chat to the police about your options without actually formally reporting anything. They're really good, honestly. They can give you the information you need to make a decision. I really hope you're able to talk to them about this, even if just to consider a report.

I would also look into talking to someone about this, not from a legal perspective but more health-wise. This must be so incredibly scary and stressful for you, and it can take its toll. Childline are there if you're under 19, their details are here: https://www.childline.org.uk/, as are the Samaritans whose details can be found here: http://www.samaritans.org/
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needadvicesos123
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(Original post by chelseadagg3r)
I've been in a similar situation before. I've been threatened, stalked, and doxed. I've had people catfish me me and all sorts. The important thing to do first is stop using Skype. Seriously. If you aren't there to harass, they have nothing. The biggest mistake I ever made was staying visible on the internet in attempt to 'monitor' the situation. It made it so much worse. Don't delete your account or anything, just stop using it. I'm not sure if you said how old you are. Sorry, I'm a bit useless for little pieces of information falling out of my head like that. CEOP may be able to help you. They've helped me before, and are really brilliant. I also spoke to the police, and they referred me to CEOP. I was 16 at the time, about two weeks from 17. You can find out more about them on their website here: https://ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/. One thing I really need to stress is that you cannot continue to have contact with these people. Learn more about online safety, and stick to those rules. Even if people seem trustworthy and even share information with you, never save it and never reciprocate it.

You should also screenshot the posts you made on Reddit, so you have proof that the pictures were there if it ever gets asked about, and remove them immediately. If you can't remove them for whatever reason, find someone who can. Contact Reddit if you have to. I know it doesn't stop them having the pictures now, but it can stop people getting hold of them again in the future. I'd also run searches of your name and usernames, and see what comes up. Remove anything that you don't want people to see anymore. It can take a bit of time to comb through everything, but it's infinitely worth it. Don't be afraid to contact the website support teams to ask for help with this. You can also do some of this through Google. They won't definitely do as you ask, it depends on how they see it, but again it is worth trying. You can look into the Google part here: https://support.google.com/websearch.../3111061?hl=en.

Going to the police, or to CEOP if applicable, would not be making a mountain out of a molehill. The important thing to remember is that if they're doing it to you, they can do it to other people. They're already doing it to someone else that you know of.

I really don't understand people like that. I was really close with someone I considered like a brother. After a bit over two years, he doxed me and started doing very similar things to me like is happening to you. He tried to turn my friends and colleagues against me. It turned out he had saved every single conversation we'd had. He'd recorded all of our chats, and had been setting me up the entire time. You can't let them continue. Just disappear.

As long as you don't delete your Skype account or anything, everything that happened there should still be there. Even though it is currently suspended, that can be reversed. Just leave it suspended for now and talk to someone who knows what they're doing: the police or CEOP. You can chat to the police about your options without actually formally reporting anything. They're really good, honestly. They can give you the information you need to make a decision. I really hope you're able to talk to them about this, even if just to consider a report.

I would also look into talking to someone about this, not from a legal perspective but more health-wise. This must be so incredibly scary and stressful for you, and it can take its toll. Childline are there if you're under 19, their details are here: https://www.childline.org.uk/, as are the Samaritans whose details can be found here: http://www.samaritans.org/
it's comforting to know there are people who've gone through the same kinds of things and are still around. i've been advised to call the 101 non-emergency number so I'll call them tomorrow when my family are out..unfortunately I already removed the posts from reddit =[ did that guy who was harassing you ever follow through on any of his threats once you left him alone? I've already abandoned all contact with Tina but I'm still so worried that she's going to do something. I can barely eat because I'm so anxious and feel like I'm looking over my shoulder all the time
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chelseadagg3r
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(Original post by needadvicesos123)
it's comforting to know there are people who've gone through the same kinds of things and are still around. i've been advised to call the 101 non-emergency number so I'll call them tomorrow when my family are out..unfortunately I already removed the posts from reddit =[ did that guy who was harassing you ever follow through on any of his threats once you left him alone? I've already abandoned all contact with Tina but I'm still so worried that she's going to do something. I can barely eat because I'm so anxious and feel like I'm looking over my shoulder all the time
The 101 number sounds like a really good plan. I actually emailed my local force because I was paranoid about them tracking my number and telling everyone I knew etc etc, but they're actually so good about it. It was all completely confidential and everything, and they were lovely about everything as well. I'm sure it'll be fine, removing the posts. I wouldn't imagine there being any problems from it. The guy in that situation, not really. He released some private information while we were still in contact, but as soon as I cut him off nothing happened. The person, in a different situation, that stalked me continued for 8 or 9 months until I told them I was going to the police and removed myself completely. After that, never heard from them again. It had happened before those times, and the worst happened when I reacted to it. That's when they continued. As soon as there was no entertainment for them, they moved on. I know it's really scary not knowing if they're doing something, or are going to, but I think talking to the police might help. They've seen these situations before and know what tends to happen with them. They understand more about how these people work as well, so can give more educated answers. It does help a bit to put your mind at peace. I found that over time, as nothing happened, I felt a bit better. You just really have to keep reminding yourself that you have removed yourself from the situation, and they don't have contact with you anymore. One of the biggest parts of all this is the results of what they're doing. If they can't see the results, then there's little point for them. It gets boring for them, especially when they can move on and try again with someone else
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