Partner moving to uni

My partner is going to move to uni next year, I know it's a long way away and so much can happen in that time but it scares me so much. We are the same age however I'm in the year below because I'm resitting the year (took the wrong subjects). I know in the time between now and her moving we could break up but I have a feeling this might be real, if we really worked on it. I'm a realist however I do believe in love too. I don't know whether a long distance relationship would work or if we just stay friends whilst in uni and see after that, I mean we probably would've changed by then! But we'll see I guess. Does anyone have any advice? How to cope, deal with it all, see the brighter side of things perhaps!? :P I'm enjoying life so much right now. Just need to stop feeling so negative!

Reply 1

dh00001

alot of people do it, it can work. :smile:

trust is a major thing in it though, you need to make sure you have it solid in one another

Reply 2

Sparkly-student

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

Green Eyes

I was equally terrified before going to uni! My boyfriend isn't going to uni yet, so I was leaving him behind in Manchester, to go all the way to London and study. I thought the travelling and phone calls would get so tiresome, but now I realise we were at the point in our relationship where we needed to not see each other every single day. We needed to not live 5 minutes away from each other - it was just getting so repetitve!
Now when we see each other, we look forward to it a week in advance, we plan it so that we do something crazy and interesting every time - and you just simply savour everything so much more - it totally refreshes your relationship! I really feel that we have actually benefited from the change.
Not to say that everyone's relationship will work in this way.
Also, we've been together for 2 and a half years so trust hasn't really been an issue as we're quite close and tell each other everything.

Hope this helps, as I was absolutely petrified myself, but actually being away from someone sort of brings you closer, if you see what I mean. :smile:

Reply 4

*Tears and Butterflies*

I'm in a similar position. I have only been with my boyfriend for a month now and I know a lot can hapen in the 10 months before I go to Uni but I feel...and he does too that we will last. But I have just applied to uni. He is in the process of applying, I think he is already considering us and trying to apply to a few uni's the same as me or at least close by. If we are still together come next year (which I hope we will be) It will be hard, becasue we would have never got the cahnce to consider the whole Uni thing before hand as we hadn't been together too long.

I think that if you are meant to be you will make it alright. It just takes a bit more, trust and hardwork and dedication than a not so long distance relationship.

Reply 5

weet_ABI_x

It could definitely work :smile:

I know someone who has been with their boyfriend for 2 years whilst he was at uni and she was here and they're doing fine! Also know plenty of people in my year group with bf/gfs in uni that are coping brilliantly.
It's important that you both put the effort in though, and that it's what both of you want... also talk about it a LOT before you leave. I made this mistake a couple of months ago and was left really messed around and confused and waiting for a guy who never wanted to really be with me anyway :mad:

I wouldn't want that to happen to anybody else.
And visit each other lots! Make sure you are still seeing each other fairly regularly, every 2-3 weeks I would suggest (unless that really is financially impossible and you are pretty sure you could last longer without seeing them.)
And all in all, be definitely sure you want to go through with it before you do... trust me, it is a LOT easier said than done.

Reply 6

Kate.

It can work. My boyfriend is in the year below and still at college, and I'm 100 miles away in Salford. We're doing fine :smile:

I've been back for 3 weekends to see him, and he's stayed here for a long weekend (and he stayed the very first night too). Providing you're both willing to make the effort to travel to see each other, and keep in contact, it can work great. I'm so glad me and my boyfriend decided to give it a go. Even though it hasn't really been that long yet, I honestly can't see us breaking up any time soon. We're doing fine. We'd been together about 7 and a half months when I moved away, by the way.

Two of my flatmates have also stayed with their partners and they're also really happy - same for one of my friends from home.

Reply 7

username47781

A lot of these relationships do break up I am afraid, however it isn't all doom and gloom. If you both put the effort in then it is very possible for it to work out.