I'm a white non-Muslim in love with a hijab wearing Muslim woman. Meeting her tomorro Watch

DeemzBeamz
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I'm a white non-Muslim in love with a hijab wearing Muslim woman. Meeting her tomorrow & plan on telling her my feelings. How do I do this?

Her mother is Christian Brazilian, her father is Muslim Palestinian, so she grew up in a very open household. She told me she wears the scarf for cultural reasons more so than religious. That she never thought the scarf made her modest. She told me this the same day she told me she was a rape victim. We're very close to each other and meet almost on a daily basis.

The reason I want to open up to her is because of an encounter last night. I was drunk and at her mates for a house party. I went in to grab a guitar in her flatmates room but she was there, without a headscarf and I just remember her looking absolutely gorgeous. "Wow you look beautiful" were the words that came out of my mouth lol, but I remember her smiling back at me and playfully grabbing my face and turning me back out the room haha. I just want to open up to her man.

She is hands down the most ambitious, open minded, knowledgeable young woman I have ever met. She has a hidden side that breaks all stereotypes and I absolutely love it. This is actually the main reason I fell for her.

I'm usually quite confident and don't worry about rejection, but she's just something else.

I hope you understand why I'm dreading tomorrow haha, so need some advice.

1) Should I bring up religion?

2) What the most attractive thing a guy can do on a date

3) How do I break it to her haha? How do I phrase it all?

4) If all goes well, should I keep anything too intimate out of the equation considering her religious beliefs and her recent experience of rape?

5) Suit or nah?
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HouseRoadLife
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I liked the idea of dating a muslimah, but most are either elitist gold diggers or else closet RnB clubbing s1uts.
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Juniper Plant
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(Original post by DeemzBeamz)
I'm a white non-Muslim in love with a hijab wearing Muslim woman. Meeting her tomorrow & plan on telling her my feelings. How do I do this?

Her mother is Christian Brazilian, her father is Muslim Palestinian, so she grew up in a very open household. She told me she wears the scarf for cultural reasons more so than religious. That she never thought the scarf made her modest. She told me this the same day she told me she was a rape victim. We're very close to each other and meet almost on a daily basis.

The reason I want to open up to her is because of an encounter last night. I was drunk and at her mates for a house party. I went in to grab a guitar in her flatmates room but she was there, without a headscarf and I just remember her looking absolutely gorgeous. "Wow you look beautiful" were the words that came out of my mouth lol, but I remember her smiling back at me and playfully grabbing my face and turning me back out the room haha. I just want to open up to her man.

She is hands down the most ambitious, open minded, knowledgeable young woman I have ever met. She has a hidden side that breaks all stereotypes and I absolutely love it. This is actually the main reason I fell for her.

I'm usually quite confident and don't worry about rejection, but she's just something else.

I hope you understand why I'm dreading tomorrow haha, so need some advice.

1) Should I bring up religion?

2) What the most attractive thing a guy can do on a date

3) How do I break it to her haha? How do I phrase it all?

4) If all goes well, should I keep anything too intimate out of the equation considering her religious beliefs and her recent experience of rape?

5) Suit or nah?
im from a muslim household myself, well not religious, but my opinion is that relgion should not interfere with love, i was in love with a white guy once and we used to go out, he emotionally tortured me and wanted to break up because of my heritage and relgion, (considering im probably worse in terms of moralities compared to non-muslims) life init?

but the problem is that she is muslim, you would need to convert if you wanna be with her and marry her, that's how islam works, that maybe isnt the outcome,but her parents may be unhappy? and also you need to confirm you are in love with this person... "Wow you look beautiful" is that the entire reason why you are in love? i know her personality seems brilliant to you, but not everyone knows how "real" everyone, have you known her longer nough eh?
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bobby147
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What religion are you or your prob none I guess ?
if she not really devout as you suggest,then religion shouldn't really be a problem.
Her rape is prob not something I would bring up on a first date .
I don't think a suit is necessary,although that might impress her tho !
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DeemzBeamz
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(Original post by Juniper Plant)
im from a muslim household myself, well not religious, but my opinion is that relgion should not interfere with love, i was in love with a white guy once and we used to go out, he emotionally tortured me and wanted to break up because of my heritage and relgion, (considering im probably worse in terms of moralities compared to non-muslims) life init?

but the problem is that she is muslim, you would need to convert if you wanna be with her and marry her, that's how islam works, that maybe isnt the outcome,but her parents may be unhappy? and also you need to confirm you are in love with this person... "Wow you look beautiful" is that the entire reason why you are in love? i know her personality seems brilliant to you, but not everyone knows how "real" everyone, have you known her longer nough eh?
I would never allow myself to do something like that to her. I respect who she is and would never try to change her beliefs etc. I just don't want her to feel like that, that I'm not happy with her religious beliefs or that being together will mean emotional torture for her.

Also regarding me needing to convert, is that absolutely necessary? Is it actually stated that one cannot marry a non-muslim because her father is married to a Christian woman??

I can definitely confirm I'm in love with this person, that encounter was just me being awkward and daft haha that's why I just wanted to clarify things with her tonight. I've known her for 3 years now and she is the most well put together woman I have ever come across.
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DeemzBeamz
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(Original post by bobby147)
What religion are you or your prob none I guess ?
if she not really devout as you suggest,then religion shouldn't really be a problem.
Her rape is prob not something I would bring up on a first date .
I don't think a suit is necessary,although that might impress her tho !
I'm agnostic.
I'm hoping it won't be, I don't want her to feel I want to change her beliefs etc so things become easier. I'm very open and don't really mind.
No definitely won't bring it up, just mentioned it for context.
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DeemzBeamz
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(Original post by HouseRoadLife)
I liked the idea of dating a muslimah, but most are either elitist gold diggers or else closet RnB clubbing s1uts.
Lol okay...?
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by DeemzBeamz)
...

The reason I want to open up to her is because of an encounter last night. I was drunk and at her mates for a house party. I went in to grab a guitar in her flatmates room but she was there, without a headscarf and I just remember her looking absolutely gorgeous. "Wow you look beautiful" were the words that came out of my mouth lol, but I remember her smiling back at me and playfully grabbing my face and turning me back out the room haha. I just want to open up to her man.

She is hands down the most ambitious, open minded, knowledgeable young woman I have ever met. She has a hidden side that breaks all stereotypes and I absolutely love it. This is actually the main reason I fell for her.

I'm usually quite confident and don't worry about rejection, but she's just something else.

I hope you understand why I'm dreading tomorrow haha, so need some advice.

...
Hey man, how'd it go? Did you tell her how you feel about her?
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anonymous23456
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(Original post by DeemzBeamz)
I'm a white non-Muslim in love with a hijab wearing Muslim woman. Meeting her tomorrow & plan on telling her my feelings. How do I do this?

Her mother is Christian Brazilian, her father is Muslim Palestinian, so she grew up in a very open household. She told me she wears the scarf for cultural reasons more so than religious. That she never thought the scarf made her modest. She told me this the same day she told me she was a rape victim. We're very close to each other and meet almost on a daily basis.

The reason I want to open up to her is because of an encounter last night. I was drunk and at her mates for a house party. I went in to grab a guitar in her flatmates room but she was there, without a headscarf and I just remember her looking absolutely gorgeous. "Wow you look beautiful" were the words that came out of my mouth lol, but I remember her smiling back at me and playfully grabbing my face and turning me back out the room haha. I just want to open up to her man.

She is hands down the most ambitious, open minded, knowledgeable young woman I have ever met. She has a hidden side that breaks all stereotypes and I absolutely love it. This is actually the main reason I fell for her.

I'm usually quite confident and don't worry about rejection, but she's just something else.

I hope you understand why I'm dreading tomorrow haha, so need some advice.

1) Should I bring up religion?

2) What the most attractive thing a guy can do on a date

3) How do I break it to her haha? How do I phrase it all?

4) If all goes well, should I keep anything too intimate out of the equation considering her religious beliefs and her recent experience of rape?

5) Suit or nah?
awwww that's so cute best of luck!!!!!
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farafara
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what happened in the end? did it work out?
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farafara
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what happened in the end? did it work out?
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Mattious
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init 2 years later and the plot needs a conclusion
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farafara
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(Original post by Mattious)
init 2 years later and the plot needs a conclusion
I was reading the whole thing and rooting for this guy!

I should add i was in a similar situation myself as the non hijab wearing version, long distance, overseas. I did end up marrying him, i am.mostly cut off from my.community. Regrets? None, because you can only do what you think best at the time. But i do know i wouldnt recommend it. Marriage, children its all difficult enough as it is. Inside i probably crave that understanding without words that comes from a common background. And 10 years ago people didnt search for partners online. Anyway
Last edited by farafara; 3 weeks ago
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