Most asian families don't understand mental health 😯

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It's not just Asians, the Black community (Africans/Caribbeans) have this lack of concern towards mental health problems and don't take it seriously enough and brush off or think it doesn't exist. I'm Nigerian and my parents don't take my depression and anxiety seriously so I never discuss it with them (which worsens it cause I feel like I can never talk to anymore and have to fake my emotions most of the time). My mum is even a mental health nurse and even she can't even understand or even sympathise with some her patients sometimes because she's never confronted people with mental health issues until she began working in the UK. Mental health in Nigeria and Africa as a whole is pretty underreported in the grand scheme things and they just expect people to 'get over themselves' since they have bigger problems (e.g. poverty) to worry about.

However, even without race being added to the equation, I do believe that more needs to be done to raise the awareness of mental health issues worldwide even in this country. Hearing about there being cuts to the NHS and mental health care provisions breaks my heart. Greater care and education is needed.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 21

username1842595

This is true. I hid my mental health problems from my parents and went to appointments on my own to prevent judgement :frown:

Reply 22

JMR2021_

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

Original post by Poetic Gamer

How can your mum be a mental health nurse and not understand???

Reply 23

study beats

Original post by KittenMediaya

I'm not sure if it's only asian families, but with experience and what others have told me, some parents/family don't understand mental health problems. They think depression and anxiety are nothing but something you invent yourself in your own head. They blame you for it and that makes you feel worse.

Any advice on how to make them understand? Not just parents, older siblings as well.

you cant make them understand, nothing can

5 years of suffering and still the same issue everyday

Reply 24

Poetic Gamer

Original post by JMR2017

How can your mum be a mental health nurse and not understand???

Let me reiterate, my mum comes from a country (Nigeria) where the concept of mental health is non-existent and underreported. My mother takes care of her patients well and knows how to treat them, however that doesn't mean she understands or can relate to the root of mental illnesses and disorders since the common problem was usually seen as 'they're not religious and therefore need to look towards God for guidance' (Nigeria is a very religious country).

She always tells me after work how she can't even imagine what could have happened to this person to cause them to act outside of 'normal' behaviour. Example: She has patients who are violent and suicidal, but she could never understand why some would want to kill themselves (suicide is a sin don't ya know) or even consider the thought when their lives previously appeared to be fine before.

It is easy to study and work on people with mental illnesses but relating to them and understanding their issues is completely different (at least to me anyway).

Reply 25

HeartBlink

Yes i definitely agree with you.

There are a few you could try to educate them more around this topic:
1. Tell them you want to talk - a few days in advance, tell them you need to talk about something serious that is bothering you. The aim by doing this is that when you reveal that you are going to talk about your mental health, it aill make them realise how concerned you are about it :redface:

because obviously, if you weren't you wouldn't have wanted a talk (unless having a family gathering is normal to you)
2. Be familiar about mental health issues yourself! Read on it, understand exactly how it works and then try to understand how you feel when you are depressed. Even write it down! This is so you can answer all their questions when you are having that 'talk'
3. To make someone understand, they first have to sympathise. Tell them openly IN ONE GO how you have been feeling, what were the initial reasons you started to feel down and don't hesitate getting them emotional because that is the whole point. Heck even have a breakdown in front of them (obviously not purposely but it happens when you are discussing your feelings with someone you never have in the past :redface:

trust) they need to know how serious it is. Don't hesitate to mention them if they are one of the reasons it all started. Often, family drive you mad and they are the one forcing you to hide your feeling. So PLEASE don't ignore it once again, SAY IT OUT LOUD and as i said earlier it's OK to breakdown or get angry so they understand :redface:

5. If you want to end the talk and feel like you can't talk anymore, simply get up and leave. Leave them alone to think, and you close your door and go to sleep.

Hopefully they will get so sympathetic they'll be willing to do their own research on the topic

I know this sounds intense but..

Reply 26

username1339858_

I'm afraid sometimes there's not much one can do... :redface:

I suppose with siblings there's a chance they'll understand if you find ways to explain what you're feeling etc and how their actions make you feel. Problem is then opening up. There are a lot of youtube videos which do the job for you tbh.
Parents are a different matter. If the parent suffers from depression etc... it can trigger it more.. which is always a concern. On the plus side... someone knows how you feel to some extent... though you both might have different approaches to what helps and what doesn't.

If the parent/s don't understand mental issues at all... this poses a bit of a problem. A good friend did tell me to ask the gp to explain to the parents. This might be an option. Beyond that... I suppose if they're willimg enough to try and understand... or just support you the way you tell them you need.

There is always that fear that they won't understand and make it worse... i think the only option here is to try not to hide it. To be as open as possible. Let them see how their actions affect you... maybe then they'll pick up on what helps and what doesn't.

If all else fails... Remember that if they don't understand at least they haven't been through it. This is your battle... and the sad case is that even with all the help possible... you have to help yourself.

Hope this helped :wink:

And thanks.

Reply 27

unillama

you knw what!!!???
i was legit gonna make a thread about this!
you read my mind, i suffer from anxiety right so that results me in bitting my nails and sometimes dizziness. when i told my mum this she was just like ohh dwww drink water and have a paracetamol...dont get me wrong my mum does care about me, she abso loves me but, i dnt think she understands this tbh, maybe caz she never came across it idk. but basically

mum has been trying for years and years to help me stop biting my nails, she did everything!!! TRUST ME!!
then she came to a conclusion
"if you really love your boyfriend, then stop bitting your nails", i gotta be honest it worked for like 1 month and a bit. but i started again.
see the day i started again, mum and dad had an argument with me soo as revenge, i bit my nails, seems stupid but thats what happend, i mean i cant do anything to my parents, they are my parents sooo why would i?

and now exams have come so i bit my skin aswell, but its not to an extreme where i bleed butt thats that!
soo this makes me question do i really have anxiety or is this a mind set i have!!??

Original post by KittenMediaya

Spoiler

I like to keep my deep stuff to myself tbh. Like yeah, I rather not someone know... :colonhash:

Reply 30

username1942323

Original post by OGGUS

I like to keep my deep stuff to myself tbh. Like yeah, I rather not someone know... :colonhash:

Oh lol, okay

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Reply 31

OGGUS

Original post by KittenMediaya

Oh lol, okay

Posted from TSR Mobile

It's called introverted feeling.

Reply 32

username1942323

Original post by OGGUS

It's called introverted feeling.

I know

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Reply 33

OGGUS

Original post by KittenMediaya

I know

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Do you have it? :curious:

Reply 34

MKaur18

Original post by KittenMediaya

It depends on how much your parents are informed..and how understanding they are.. But, if your dad and mum have respected jobs they know it takes hard work to get where they are and will see you have your up and down days.. but don't really see it as much.. unless they are understanding people with nice personalities. ygm?