What do I say to her?

I've been friends with a girl for 7 years (I'm female too). Over the years she has been snidy to me and then a saint other times. 2 years ago she was vile to me one evening so I didn't speak to her for a year - she contacted me again.

Recently its all gotten to me, she randomly contacts me moaning about people, never asks 'how are you etc'. Sleeps around with married and engaged men 10 and 20 years older, I don't care if people do that but not when kids are involved. She mocks my accent and judges my interests, a friend even said why are we friends as we have nothing in common.

She has a thing about turning our mutual friends against me, a friend the other day text me and warned me and said he was damn angry as she is trying to cause trouble for him again but making up rumours.

She gets annoyed when I have the chance to hang out with other people as I don't have many friends - she feels good about that. Her facebook annoys me as she gets all these adds and if only people knew what she was like.

I have ignored her last 2 random texts moaning about people. Just sick of her being a user as the last 2 times I have seen her its all about going shopping as she's too lazy to get the bus. How did I get rid of this filthbag once and for all?

Reply 1

as cruel as school children

10

last time i checked, a 'friendship' involves more than one person. she is using you like a doormat. you may have less friends, but you seem more down-to-earth. don't be jealous of selfish people who appear to have many acquantances.

she needs putting in her place, tell her a few home truths

Reply 2

Gemz87

1

Sorry off topic but hi from a fellow Kerrier dweller.

Personally, I would just contact her and say that you think you've grown apart and you don't think you should be friends any more and best of luck to her in the rest of her life.

That's what I did in that situation. It seems you know who you are and where your morals lie and hers aren't the same. Friends have things in common.

Reply 3

Tianbao

1

tell her: you r ****ing btich and **** off

Reply 4

envious

I think that you are right to want to break off this friendship as clearly there is no mutual respect and there is very little benefit for you to continue this way.

I think she sounds like quite a manipulative person and I can see why you're reluctant to just confront her with how you feel. Whilst it may be tempting to just let your emotions run free and tell her exactly what you think of her, I think the best course of action would be to slowly cut down communication and edge her out of your life. When she asks to do something, lie and say that you are busy or when she texts you to complain about something reply with a short text that discourages her to continue texting.

Obviously she is morally in the wrong and deserves to be immediately severed as a friend but the reprecussions for you of such action could potentially be quite severe. She already enjoys seeing you without many friends and spreading rumours about you so just imagine what she would be like as an enemy. So I would advise you to bite your tongue and try and avoid her as much as you can and then hopefully she will get the message and drift away from you without the commotion that direct confrontation could bring.

Reply 5

Dragon24

17

Tell her to get stuffed or as they say 'ignorance is bliss'.

Reply 6

zzzzzoe

11

OrangesandLemons

I've been friends with a girl for 7 years (I'm female too). Over the years she has been snidy to me and then a saint other times. 2 years ago she was vile to me one evening so I didn't speak to her for a year - she contacted me again.

Recently its all gotten to me, she randomly contacts me moaning about people, never asks 'how are you etc'. Sleeps around with married and engaged men 10 and 20 years older, I don't care if people do that but not when kids are involved. She mocks my accent and judges my interests, a friend even said why are we friends as we have nothing in common.

She has a thing about turning our mutual friends against me, a friend the other day text me and warned me and said he was damn angry as she is trying to cause trouble for him again but making up rumours.

She gets annoyed when I have the chance to hang out with other people as I don't have many friends - she feels good about that. Her facebook annoys me as she gets all these adds and if only people knew what she was like.

I have ignored her last 2 random texts moaning about people. Just sick of her being a user as the last 2 times I have seen her its all about going shopping as she's too lazy to get the bus. How did I get rid of this filthbag once and for all?

i think its just about asserting yourself really. the next time she does something that irritates you ask her why shes a saint sometimes and not on other occasions! just stop responding to her complaints completely, maybe shell get the message?

Reply 7

Juwel

18

Two words from up North that work a treat.

"Do one".

Or, what you're presently doing is good, don't give her the time of day. And never refer to her as a friend again. You don't want people like your other friends actually thinking you're friends with this girl.

Reply 8

OrangesandLemons

OP

That cheek, a week ago she rang my number using a witheld number - I knew it was her cos its a spare number only her and my close family have it (they would never do that) and I NEVER get advertising calls as it wasn't a registered number - she's well known for prank calls to people. She text me on Monday randomly saying 'I'm going to interview my favourite artist' - didn't even ask how I was. She text 10 minutes ago saying 'Hey' - damn cheek, why don't she make conversation. I am just angry!

Reply 9

*Stargirl*

tell her, in not too polite terms, to get lost. and dont have mutual friends together. in other words, cut her out of your life. there are so many lovely people out there, you can do without people like her.

Reply 10

username47781

20

She isn't a friend, she is just using you I am afraid. Come on what kind of person regulary sleeps with married men. She's not worth it.

Reply 11

OrangesandLemons

OP

She randomly text tonight saying 'what have i done, you not speaking to me?'. I ignored it, then she text again saying 'don't ignore me it gives me anxiety'. How dare she after all the anxiety and grief I have had over losing friend and being verbally abused. Its not like she has even said 'how are you' its all me, me, me. I felt like emailing her briefly why I have ignored her but then feel it leaves me vulnerable again as she knows what I am thinking. There is no way I ever want to be friends with her again.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

say that you've grown apart and you're sick of her using you as a doormat, and just say "please dont contact me again, or i'm gonna have to change my number & stuff cause you've just been sucking me dry, i dont want to talk to you anymore. have a nice life."
LOVELY :wink: