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Need to tell her to move out nicely?, help please!

Well, ill ty to keep long story short,. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now, but ever since we met she is had a really bad time at home, mum is alwys blackmailing her, chucked her out once before, due to her stepdad giving her mum an ultimatum, sometimes refusing to feed her, basically alot of s****y stuff all the time

So recently she decided she had enough and decided to get out and was planning to live with some friends, now that didnt work and i ended up telling her to come and stay with me at my flat a while, because i really dont agree with the way they treat her and no need to say i love her to bits.

Dilema is i dont want her to go back but my job barely pays enough two sustain to people and where we live legal age to work is 18 and she is 17... needless to say now i dont have enough money for uni stuff or to pay for petrol so now im taking the bus everyday ( which isnt that bad tbh )

so basically im really stuck for ideas as i dont want her to go back but i just cant cope financially and obviosly her parents wont help even though they are well off economically, they are just nasty :frown:

advise? sorry for the long post... i did try

Reply 1

pingubox

Tell her to get a job? :s-smilie:

Reply 2

Luzvel

OP

i did state in the post that she is 17... and over here you cant legally work till 18 .. :rolleyes:

Reply 3

</gibberish>

12

Time to become a criminal then, I'm afraid.

Reply 4

Lara C.

3

go and knock some sense into her parents!!!! seriously. or get the authorities involved.

edit: is her farther an option to go and stay with? or help out with money.

Reply 5

Dionysus

15

Do you have any other options? If she's unable to work and can't really go home, you have a responsibility to look after her. I mean for example, you say you can't afford petrol. A car is not an essential expense. Sell your car if necessary, but don't just turf her out. You say you love her, so you have to make sacrifices for her. I don't blame you at all, you're in a difficult situation, but you really have to do anything you possibly can to avoid making her leave. When is she 18?

Reply 6

sophierw

1

Gamble. And hope you win.

Reply 7

Luzvel

OP

Her father isnt an option because she is never seen him... i did think about that but we cant find him and her mum says she doesnt know where he is, seems all bs to me... i wouldntsell my car, but im fine with not using it... we got 7 months to go before she can get a job, and her mum she is just weird, girlfriend is been with me for a month and mum hasnt even called...

Reply 8

FreeBird

What about your parents? Cant they help?

Reply 9

Luzvel

OP

FreeBird

What about your parents? Cant they help?

parents live in London and clever me studies abroad :s-smilie:

so kinda hard, even though mum does send me a few pounds every month im sorry it sound sobby but that the way it is :frown:

Reply 10

Gymnosopher

So where is it you live that she can't legally work? If your parents are willing to help and you honestly think this girl will be with you for ages then maybe you could send her to work in the UKand pay your parents rent or something - though if she's at school and doesn't want to be uprooted (whilst you're with her and wouldn't want to change it) there's got to be some kind of incentive offered to parents for having kids that can't work, like child support or something? Maybe you could get this..

Reply 11

Luzvel

OP

I live in Mexico City, incentive for minors that cant work? shouldnt that be her parents? i am planning to go back to england as soon as im done at uni, hopefully take her with me... but she couldnt b sent over even though is a good idea, because as far as i know she would have to marry me or have her parents to be english so she can stay or am i wrong? ( no marrying! )

Reply 12

sweetfloss

15

SamOW

So where is it you live that she can't legally work? If your parents are willing to help and you honestly think this girl will be with you for ages then maybe you could send her to work in the UKand pay your parents rent or something - though if she's at school and doesn't want to be uprooted (whilst you're with her and wouldn't want to change it) there's got to be some kind of incentive offered to parents for having kids that can't work, like child support or something? Maybe you could get this..

There is almost certainly (well, depending on what country you live in?) some kind of benefit you will be able to claim. Definitely look into it.

Reply 13

Gymnosopher

Luzvel

I live in Mexico City, incentive for minors that cant work? shouldnt that be her parents? i am planning to go back to england as soon as im done at uni, hopefully take her with me... but she couldnt b sent over even though is a good idea, because as far as i know she would have to marry me or have her parents to be english so she can stay or am i wrong? ( no marrying! )

To stay for ever she'd need to become a citizen, but that doesn't mean that all immigrants to the UK are marrying into the nation! I guess immigration has been stigmatised badly etc, though if someone plans to work and not be a drain on the welfare state there has always been a flow of immigration.. You'll need to check out the Home Office website for specifics but you know.

Another possibility is to get a working Visa for a year, and then if she applies to UK universities she should be able to get a Visa for that (the problem of foreign nationals getting offers to low ranking unis, getting a visa to come over and then disappearing in the country hmm..).

But it also depends on the UK's relationship with the country, where it would be easier for Canadians to get visas than bulgarians.

If you're serious about it, again I stress, look into it or give the home office a call and someone should be able to offer you some advice - I don't see there being any problem with being honest, your GF wants to stay with you when you come to the UK, what are my options asto working Visas and citizenship etc.. That being said, if life is that crappy you'll be doing her a favour either way - so even if you do break up you've done a good deed :smile:

Reply 14

Gymnosopher

sweetfloss

There is almost certainly (well, depending on what country you live in?) some kind of benefit you will be able to claim. Definitely look into it.

And if not, there are charities set up to help out with things like this.

Reply 15

Luzvel

OP

Thanks SamOW that does sounds like a worthwhile idea, will get to it, just had the idea it was harder to get someone into the UK... seems to get on well with my mum over the phone :p:

Reply 16

h82think

14

Luzvel

i did state in the post that she is 17... and over here you cant legally work till 18 .. :rolleyes:

Couldn't she even get a paper-round or do some baby-sitting? I know this will not pay much at all, but better than nothing.

Reply 17

brokenangel

16

Luzvel

I live in Mexico City,

No offence but it is mexico so why doesnt she just get cash in hand job in a bar or cafe.

Reply 18

Gymnosopher

Luzvel

Thanks SamOW that does sounds like a worthwhile idea, will get to it, just had the idea it was harder to get someone into the UK... seems to get on well with my mum over the phone :p:

It seems like you're doing all this right now, but if anyone wants the link The Home Office Passport and Immigrations page should help :smile:

- the rep button's right there ;p haha

Reply 19

Profesh

20

Cash-in-hand work does exist, you know.

Need to tell her to move out nicely?, help please!

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