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Mum won't financially support me

I'm 18, in year 12 redoing first year now going into year 13. I have a health condition, and suffer from severe fatigue. I've had it for a year now, it's improving but will take 2/3 years for me to be completely better.

The first year my mum would help me out with lifts to and from sixth form. Sixth form and studying is super exhausting as it is, but now she has decided not to give me lifts and I can get the bus. This is fine, as I do respect her decision that she doesn't want to drive me there and back. But now she's changed her mind and won't give me the bus fare because it's 'principle' that I can walk.

She doesn't really believe me with the fatigue, I don't know why. I am okay doing my studies, but physical work really exhausts me and I struggle to keep up. I really cannot handle the 30 min walk, which would be an hour a day in total.

She won't give me the money though and I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't actually pay for anything else other than my bus and lunch money. She stopped paying for my hobbies and as a result I stopped. But I'm having to take a break now anyway due to health condition.

any suggestions would be great please. I haven't got an income as sixth form takes all my energy, and my dad doesn't send me any money as he lives in another country. I really cannot do this walk, so please don't suggest that. I don't know how to get around this :frown:

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i think you should have a chat with your mum and tell her your concerns and tell her that you think she's not supporting you right now
go to a doctor and tell him about physical work makes you tired
maybe he can give you medicine that will help you and make you feel stronger??

i hope it works out for you :smile:
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by charles dickens
i think you should have a chat with your mum and tell her your concerns and tell her that you think she's not supporting you right now
go to a doctor and tell him about physical work makes you tired
maybe he can give you medicine that will help you and make you feel stronger??

i hope it works out for you :smile:


Thank you. The doctors can't give me anything, just time it will improve. I'm gonna try have a chat with her, and looking for a job I can do from home!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18, in year 12 redoing first year now going into year 13. I have a health condition, and suffer from severe fatigue. I've had it for a year now, it's improving but will take 2/3 years for me to be completely better.

The first year my mum would help me out with lifts to and from sixth form. Sixth form and studying is super exhausting as it is, but now she has decided not to give me lifts and I can get the bus. This is fine, as I do respect her decision that she doesn't want to drive me there and back. But now she's changed her mind and won't give me the bus fare because it's 'principle' that I can walk.

She doesn't really believe me with the fatigue, I don't know why. I am okay doing my studies, but physical work really exhausts me and I struggle to keep up. I really cannot handle the 30 min walk, which would be an hour a day in total.

She won't give me the money though and I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't actually pay for anything else other than my bus and lunch money. She stopped paying for my hobbies and as a result I stopped. But I'm having to take a break now anyway due to health condition.

any suggestions would be great please. I haven't got an income as sixth form takes all my energy, and my dad doesn't send me any money as he lives in another country. I really cannot do this walk, so please don't suggest that. I don't know how to get around this :frown:


Maybe tell your sixth form your circumstances and ask them for support I know some school fund the students travel to and from school.Call your dad he has a responsibility too not only your mum.Ask your mum if she can help you out if you do the dishes and stuff around the house for example.
Do you have friends that live nearby who can help you? Or is there a bus that stops near your college?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18, in year 12 redoing first year now going into year 13. I have a health condition, and suffer from severe fatigue. I've had it for a year now, it's improving but will take 2/3 years for me to be completely better.

The first year my mum would help me out with lifts to and from sixth form. Sixth form and studying is super exhausting as it is, but now she has decided not to give me lifts and I can get the bus. This is fine, as I do respect her decision that she doesn't want to drive me there and back. But now she's changed her mind and won't give me the bus fare because it's 'principle' that I can walk.

She doesn't really believe me with the fatigue, I don't know why. I am okay doing my studies, but physical work really exhausts me and I struggle to keep up. I really cannot handle the 30 min walk, which would be an hour a day in total.

She won't give me the money though and I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't actually pay for anything else other than my bus and lunch money. She stopped paying for my hobbies and as a result I stopped. But I'm having to take a break now anyway due to health condition.

any suggestions would be great please. I haven't got an income as sixth form takes all my energy, and my dad doesn't send me any money as he lives in another country. I really cannot do this walk, so please don't suggest that. I don't know how to get around this :frown:


Get a diagnosis from your GP and then contact your LEA or school to see if you can get a free bus pass.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by Anonymous1502
Maybe tell your sixth form your circumstances and ask them for support I know some school fund the students travel to and from school.Call your dad he has a responsibility too not only your mum.Ask your mum if she can help you out if you do the dishes and stuff around the house for example.


Thanks you're right I'm gonna speak to school. They give me a bursary, but it's £10 a week and that doesn't really cover much. I will ask my dad though that is true. Also I do do chores around the house in return for 'living there' :/
Reply 7
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Original post by Tiger Rag
Do you have friends that live nearby who can help you? Or is there a bus that stops near your college?


There isn't really isnt really. I live pretty far, not many people from my school live around here
Reply 8
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Original post by 999tigger
Get a diagnosis from your GP and then contact your LEA or school to see if you can get a free bus pass.


Thank so I will what is an LEA ?
I understand how you feel in a way. I had health conditions when I was about 14-16 where I would faint from standing up for too long, or if I didn't eat for 3-4 hours. My mum thought I was bringing it on myself and really brought me down. I know it isn't the same as your condition, but I can sympathise with you on some level. My advice is go to your doctor and request a note saying you cannot manage the walk because it physically exhausts you. Ask your doctor to talk to your mum and get her to realise it is a real medical condition, and hopefully she will be more supportive.

To get some extra money, I do surveys a couple of times a week (varying from £0.20-£2.00 per survey) and in about a month it adds up to over £10, at which point I can withdraw the money and put it into my bank account. It isn't much, but it is still a little extra.
And I thought my parents were stingy! poor you...
Original post by charles dickens
i think you should have a chat with your mum and tell her your concerns and tell her that you think she's not supporting you right now
go to a doctor and tell him about physical work makes you tired
maybe he can give you medicine that will help you and make you feel stronger??

i hope it works out for you :smile:


So you are 18 yrs get a part time job and stop hanging around mothers bank account.
. Yes I also think medicine might help.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank so I will what is an LEA ?


Local educational authority.

But you may get a bus pass from your local council if you've been refused a driving licence on medical grounds for reasons other than alcohol or have permanent severe walking difficulties.
Wtf you just described my life exactly.

It's the exact same except I'm forced to take 2 buses that take 1:30 or so there and back EVERYDAY and even though I'm not physically moving while on the bus It's an exhausting process and just a waste of time. She refused to let me work and doesn't pay for my driving either...
Original post by butfirst_coffee
Wtf you just described my life exactly.

It's the exact same except I'm forced to take 2 buses that take 1:30 or so there and back EVERYDAY and even though I'm not physically moving while on the bus It's an exhausting process and just a waste of time. She refused to let me work and doesn't pay for my driving either...


You are 18yrs so she can do nothing about you getting a job.

So grow up and sort yourself out with a job.
Original post by Rooster11366
You are 18yrs so she can do nothing about you getting a job.

So grow up and sort yourself out with a job.


Not just her. Both parents. They said they don't want me distracted from my 'education'
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18, in year 12 redoing first year now going into year 13. I have a health condition, and suffer from severe fatigue. I've had it for a year now, it's improving but will take 2/3 years for me to be completely better.

The first year my mum would help me out with lifts to and from sixth form. Sixth form and studying is super exhausting as it is, but now she has decided not to give me lifts and I can get the bus. This is fine, as I do respect her decision that she doesn't want to drive me there and back. But now she's changed her mind and won't give me the bus fare because it's 'principle' that I can walk.

She doesn't really believe me with the fatigue, I don't know why. I am okay doing my studies, but physical work really exhausts me and I struggle to keep up. I really cannot handle the 30 min walk, which would be an hour a day in total.

She won't give me the money though and I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't actually pay for anything else other than my bus and lunch money. She stopped paying for my hobbies and as a result I stopped. But I'm having to take a break now anyway due to health condition.

any suggestions would be great please. I haven't got an income as sixth form takes all my energy, and my dad doesn't send me any money as he lives in another country. I really cannot do this walk, so please don't suggest that. I don't know how to get around this :frown:



I had fatigue for a while due to low blood pressure. may be completely different causes but personally I found that getting a job really helped with my fatigue weirdly. because I'd been trying to rest up for so long I was making it worse by getting my body used to doing nothing. Obviously rest is good in the short term but I advise you perhaps get an 8 hour a week job over the summer or at least go running or something for a little. then either you find it too much and quit and recover over the summer or you feel a little better and have some money so you don't need your mum anymore. again it may not work in your scenario but that's just what I did.

Also I'd strongly recommend taking a year (or a few) out after A levels to fully recover. if Your going to uni, it can always wait but you only get one chance to re take a year if your health affects your work.
Original post by butfirst_coffee
Wtf you just described my life exactly.

It's the exact same except I'm forced to take 2 buses that take 1:30 or so there and back EVERYDAY and even though I'm not physically moving while on the bus It's an exhausting process and just a waste of time. She refused to let me work and doesn't pay for my driving either...


You = doing something with your life = public transport

Me = not doing anything with my life = car

Sorry
Original post by Xopher_
You = doing something with your life = public transport

Me = not doing anything with my life = car

Sorry




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Drive me to school please
I have chronic fatigue syndrome and low income so my college give me a bursary of £80 a month to go towards taxis when my mum can't take me. I understand how you feel as I wouldn't manage a half an hour walk either. Once you're diagnosed try and apply for PIP, I was unsuccessful due to them being harsh but it's worth a shot.

Posted from TSR Mobile

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