Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Hey idk if this is in the right forum.. I just wanted to post this anon
I'm 16 and all my life my parents have been controlling when I ask if I can go out to the movies for example they're like no why do u need to see friends outside of skl ur with them everyday and stupid sh*t like that. They don't see the point in sleepovers (I've never been to one of those). I can't go to houses bc they don't know the parents of my friends therefore I can't trust them even if they r Asian like me. It's getting to the point where people stop inviting me to events or days out and I understand why bc they just think I'm a flake when I'm not like I used to be the most extroverted kid but now I feel like not going out anywhere and I feel myself changing into this boring person who is used to just watching Tv shows whenever I have free time and I'm scared that'll stick with me when I'm older. Bless the friends who asked me to go to wireless like it would actually happen even going with an adult. And deep that over 5 years I have been to exactly 3 birthday outings. Actual parties r out of the question bc drunk boys that Idk will rape me of course. yeah I'm skinny so I'm 'vulnerable' but they'd don't even allow me to wear tank tops/shorts anywhere. So all I wear are maxi skirts and loose Sleeved tshirts which I feel really uncomfortable in bc i feel like a stick floating in material. I understand that other families sometimes dress modest bc of their religion, but that's not even the case for me. Im not even allowed to wear jeans bc then ppl will stare at my non existent bum. (But I wouldn't mind that? Lol) I have to legit cut my own crop tops and hem the edges and wear it under some long sleeved top to take off when I'm out in the summer - it just takes too much effort. Also when I asked to go to prom (even though it won't be fun bc the music will be purely mainstream pop, I just want to hang out with everyone before we all leave) wasn't easy to make him say yes. He just doesn't want me around any boys but I said they won't even be under an influence as we will be thoroughly checked for drugs and alcohol. After like a hour of talki g/crying he said u have two options - to go to prom but I won't buy you a dress, or no Prom at all. Also I can't go to my friends house to get dressed up or for pictures, let alone the limo or little things like getting my nails done 🙄It's not like money is an issue. So yh now I'm sewing my own prom dress guys ))) And also my dads friend acc owns the building where our school is holding the event, so he said he will check up on me every hour or smth to make sure I'm behaving well. Another story time: Once after going out to Thorpe park with my friends (after weeks of persuading) I had to make my friends parent to lie about the day bc I said they were going with us. And he demanded to see the pics we took idk why, probably to judge if my friends are stupid and fun or moral and respect table based on how they dress. He abciously wants me to surround myself with the latter. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like this type of parenting has changed my character negatively. Fyi I'm not complaining bc ppl I guess ppl have it worse like parents who are abusive so I'm grateful my parents aren't like that but I'm still sick of them, I'm not spontaneous anymore, I don't like the way I look anyway and having to wear clothes that I hate doesn't make it any better. I'm not used to being outside and it sucks bc I can't do anything about it Idk I think I'm blowing this up too much 😂 but I'm just so annoyed and I mostly feel bad for my two younger sisters who will have to go through the same things that will prevent them from having fun and having deep friendships. I think it's quite relatable to going to uni but living at home far away - yh u hang with ur friends but only if u plan it beforehand and even then ud have to leave early to get home. No spontaneous raves/movie nights, and ppl will naturally will be closer to friends they are 24/7 with, who are there to cry with, laugh with. All my life I've felt like the semi outsider who sees their friends mainly on campus.
It's not even like my whole family is like this - my intermediate family is all pretty much crazy and loud and drink a lot which was basically me but now not I guess.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey idk if this is in the right forum.. I just wanted to post this anon
I'm 16 and all my life my parents have been controlling when I ask if I can go out to the movies for example they're like no why do u need to see friends outside of skl ur with them everyday and stupid sh*t like that. They don't see the point in sleepovers (I've never been to one of those). I can't go to houses bc they don't know the parents of my friends therefore I can't trust them even if they r Asian like me. It's getting to the point where people stop inviting me to events or days out and I understand why bc they just think I'm a flake when I'm not like I used to be the most extroverted kid but now I feel like not going out anywhere and I feel myself changing into this boring person who is used to just watching Tv shows whenever I have free time and I'm scared that'll stick with me when I'm older. Bless the friends who asked me to go to wireless like it would actually happen even going with an adult. And deep that over 5 years I have been to exactly 3 birthday outings. Actual parties r out of the question bc drunk boys that Idk will rape me of course. yeah I'm skinny so I'm 'vulnerable' but they'd don't even allow me to wear tank tops/shorts anywhere. So all I wear are maxi skirts and loose Sleeved tshirts which I feel really uncomfortable in bc i feel like a stick floating in material. I understand that other families sometimes dress modest bc of their religion, but that's not even the case for me. Im not even allowed to wear jeans bc then ppl will stare at my non existent bum. (But I wouldn't mind that? Lol) I have to legit cut my own crop tops and hem the edges and wear it under some long sleeved top to take off when I'm out in the summer - it just takes too much effort. Also when I asked to go to prom (even though it won't be fun bc the music will be purely mainstream pop, I just want to hang out with everyone before we all leave) wasn't easy to make him say yes. He just doesn't want me around any boys but I said they won't even be under an influence as we will be thoroughly checked for drugs and alcohol. After like a hour of talki g/crying he said u have two options - to go to prom but I won't buy you a dress, or no Prom at all. Also I can't go to my friends house to get dressed up or for pictures, let alone the limo or little things like getting my nails done 🙄It's not like money is an issue. So yh now I'm sewing my own prom dress guys ))) And also my dads friend acc owns the building where our school is holding the event, so he said he will check up on me every hour or smth to make sure I'm behaving well. Another story time: Once after going out to Thorpe park with my friends (after weeks of persuading) I had to make my friends parent to lie about the day bc I said they were going with us. And he demanded to see the pics we took idk why, probably to judge if my friends are stupid and fun or moral and respect table based on how they dress. He abciously wants me to surround myself with the latter. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like this type of parenting has changed my character negatively. Fyi I'm not complaining bc ppl I guess ppl have it worse like parents who are abusive so I'm grateful my parents aren't like that but I'm still sick of them, I'm not spontaneous anymore, I don't like the way I look anyway and having to wear clothes that I hate doesn't make it any better. I'm not used to being outside and it sucks bc I can't do anything about it Idk I think I'm blowing this up too much 😂 but I'm just so annoyed and I mostly feel bad for my two younger sisters who will have to go through the same things that will prevent them from having fun and having deep friendships. I think it's quite relatable to going to uni but living at home far away - yh u hang with ur friends but only if u plan it beforehand and even then ud have to leave early to get home. No spontaneous raves/movie nights, and ppl will naturally will be closer to friends they are 24/7 with, who are there to cry with, laugh with. All my life I've felt like the semi outsider who sees their friends mainly on campus.
It's not even like my whole family is like this - my intermediate family is all pretty much crazy and loud and drink a lot which was basically me but now not I guess.
Just argue with them when they try to make these over the top restrictions and let them know what you think. e.g. they say that you can't go out then say to them that they just want you to be unhappy and lonely.
Maybe even try to blackmail saying that if they think that going out is such a bad thing then maybe when you're older you shouldn't go out and visit them. Don't let them think that they can be forceful over everything you do because that's why they act like allowing you to go to prom without nice clothing is a compromise.
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charles dickens
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#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
sneak out
live your glorious teenage days
you only live once!
dont let your parents control you
you're you
and they are them
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