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Helping boyfriend cope with a death?

What it says in the title basically.
Found out tonight one of my boyfriend's friends died this morning and he's understandably shook up about it. But now I'm not sure how to act around him. Do I stay normal, sympathise or leave him alone for a bit? It's going to be made worse by the fact that another of his friends died earlier this year.

I want him to know I'm here for him if he needs to talk or cry or whatever, I just don't want to encroach on his grieving process I suppose.

It's his birthday in two days as well, I'm thinking party celebrations will be somewhat tainted now.

Reply 1

dh00001

just tell him youre there for him anytime and then let him take control of what he does

Reply 2

Helenia

It needs to be his decision really. Go and see him, give him a big hug and see how he's feeling. If he wants/needs your help, let him know it's available, or that you can give him space if he wants. The birthday thing is down to him as well really.

Reply 3

Grey Area

I pretty much agree with the above. If he's anything like me, the occasional hug ought to do it, theres not much else beyond that other than time that can help. Maybe try to get him talking about his friend, but I wouldn't push the issue.

Reply 4

Symph

Yeah, I'll just go with the hug and let him work out his feelings, with my help if he needs it. I know he's very different from me with things like this. Whereas I find it easier to tell my friends what's going on and what I'm thinking he is much more internalized, so I won't press him for anything.

Reply 5

Angelil

Ask him what he wants you to do. Only he can tell you if he needs space or if he needs you close to him.

Reply 6

Vampyrcorn

Follow his lead, let him know you care but there's no set way to act around him you'll just have to see how he's acting and judge what you think is best.