Getting over ex with no friends
We broke up about a month ago, things haven't been great for me, everythings just going downhill. Not just the breakup but family problems, lack of support, the list goes on. We were really close, but we broke up because she needed to be more independent on me, but she wanted to be friends. And I thought I could do that, but I couldn't. I freaked out and made some mistakes, took it out on people I hate and started fights, and these people she was friends with so when it happened she said she never wants to speak to me again, I then kept trying to get hold of her but just kelt getting blocked so I gave up after a week, then it turns out that I've gotta move home due to other reasons and i had no one to tell, so I told her, this time she didn't block me but had a genuine conversation worrying about it. Then we didn't speak for ages, and now being a month later. I messaged her the other day, telling her that Im sorry for everything that happened and trying to improve my behaviour and actions. Not that either of us want to be together. But I would like to be friends with her, because i need someone that can support me like she did, currently I have no one. Im trying to talk with old friends, and see them but they end up cancelling or ignoring me. And its just getting worse, like I would love to just be able to speak to my ex and yeah. But she doesn't want that at all now, she said shes happy with the people she has now and doesn't want me at all.
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
Original post by Anonymous
We broke up about a month ago, things haven't been great for me, everythings just going downhill. Not just the breakup but family problems, lack of support, the list goes on. We were really close, but we broke up because she needed to be more independent on me, but she wanted to be friends. And I thought I could do that, but I couldn't. I freaked out and made some mistakes, took it out on people I hate and started fights, and these people she was friends with so when it happened she said she never wants to speak to me again, I then kept trying to get hold of her but just kelt getting blocked so I gave up after a week, then it turns out that I've gotta move home due to other reasons and i had no one to tell, so I told her, this time she didn't block me but had a genuine conversation worrying about it. Then we didn't speak for ages, and now being a month later. I messaged her the other day, telling her that Im sorry for everything that happened and trying to improve my behaviour and actions. Not that either of us want to be together. But I would like to be friends with her, because i need someone that can support me like she did, currently I have no one. Im trying to talk with old friends, and see them but they end up cancelling or ignoring me. And its just getting worse, like I would love to just be able to speak to my ex and yeah. But she doesn't want that at all now, she said shes happy with the people she has now and doesn't want me at all.
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
This seems similar to how I've felt and honestly it's ****. It's just... very painful. I know.
I think just give up being friends with her because it's only going to unnecessarily be painful and crack on with life.
Original post by Anonymous
We broke up about a month ago, things haven't been great for me, everythings just going downhill. Not just the breakup but family problems, lack of support, the list goes on. We were really close, but we broke up because she needed to be more independent on me, but she wanted to be friends. And I thought I could do that, but I couldn't. I freaked out and made some mistakes, took it out on people I hate and started fights, and these people she was friends with so when it happened she said she never wants to speak to me again, I then kept trying to get hold of her but just kelt getting blocked so I gave up after a week, then it turns out that I've gotta move home due to other reasons and i had no one to tell, so I told her, this time she didn't block me but had a genuine conversation worrying about it. Then we didn't speak for ages, and now being a month later. I messaged her the other day, telling her that Im sorry for everything that happened and trying to improve my behaviour and actions. Not that either of us want to be together. But I would like to be friends with her, because i need someone that can support me like she did, currently I have no one. Im trying to talk with old friends, and see them but they end up cancelling or ignoring me. And its just getting worse, like I would love to just be able to speak to my ex and yeah. But she doesn't want that at all now, she said shes happy with the people she has now and doesn't want me at all.
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
Aww sorry man!
I can kind of relate to you as my girlfriend recently broke up with me.
Luckily I do have my best friend I can talk to about it but if I didnt have her, I wouldnt know how I'd cope
She told me to have no contact with my ex for a while so I dont get reminders etc and then once Im okay start talking to my ex again as it started to hit me in the past week (broke up two months ago).This is why it is important for your partner to not be your bestfriend and the complete centre of your life as if it you break up, youre left with nobody. You do need other good friends of both genders.
(edited 6 years ago)
I'm sorry to hear. Listen are you at uni or sixth form ?
If possible, join clubs and societies and get yourself out there again, meeting new people. When I was bored and lonely, I went on tinder and got myself talking to new people. That sorta helped. My point is, find something that's going to occupy your time. Whether it's working or doing something you haven't done in a long time. Learn to play an instrument. Etc
I know it's gonna be hard,but you're just going to have to accept that it's going to take time.
As for your ex, don't try and be friends with her, it's just going to make moving on worse. Delete any contact you have with her, even old pictures and start again. You can do this. Look how stronger you're gonna become once you get yourself out of this situation.
She is not worth it.
If possible, join clubs and societies and get yourself out there again, meeting new people. When I was bored and lonely, I went on tinder and got myself talking to new people. That sorta helped. My point is, find something that's going to occupy your time. Whether it's working or doing something you haven't done in a long time. Learn to play an instrument. Etc
I know it's gonna be hard,but you're just going to have to accept that it's going to take time.
As for your ex, don't try and be friends with her, it's just going to make moving on worse. Delete any contact you have with her, even old pictures and start again. You can do this. Look how stronger you're gonna become once you get yourself out of this situation.
She is not worth it.
Original post by Anonymous
She ended up becoming my bestfriend over the two years we dated. Now Ive got no one no matter how much I try and branch out there. And im starting to get over her, but its really hard. And i cant go out much and socialise because of the amount of work ive got on. So I go out like once every two weeks. I do miss her. I do love her. But I want to move on and be happy. And after the summer. Ill see her around a lot, and itll just bring back memories so...
I dont know what to do
I dont know what to do
I feel for you OP, I've been through similar; got dumped after a long-term relationship at the most inconvenient of times (no friends, family problems, depression) by a vindictive sociopath who tried to tear my life apart post-breakup. Almost cost me my life.
It's extremely difficult, especially when there's little to no support available to you through friends or family, but as easier as it is for me to say now...things really do get better with time and effort. I wholeheartedly recommend giving yourself a little breathing room; grieve the end of the relationship, understand you are going through a difficult time and take steps, no matter how small, to improve your circumstances bit by bit.
- Your feelings for her will subside over time. It's not been long since you broke up, you were together a long time; this is all natural.
- Friends (and indeed, family) come and go throughout life. Again, it's natural / normal. Don't beat yourself up over it. Instead, work out ways to get yourself out there a bit more and put yourself in contact with new people. Don't necessarily take them into action yet as you'll still be grieving and not putting your best foot forward to develop new relationships with people, but at least be prepared to get your foot out the door.
(edited 6 years ago)
Thank you for all the replies, it really means a lot.
I've stopped speaking to her and branched out to some old friends, and tried to arrange to meet up but they tend to say last minute, that they can't and make an
excuse. But they're just a bit too lazy to meet, even though I live no where near them and I come down to see them but they can't leave the house for 5 minutes :/
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you have support! I did make that mistake and became best friends with her, but I did have a few best friends, and one very close one, I could go back to her, but it would be a very awkward situation, we had a few arguments and stopped talking, oh and shes my ex's sister now, so yeah, were civil and do talk only in classes. It's a bit of an odd one.
I'm currently in sixth form, and I understand finding new hobbys, but it's hard for me to get around, because I live in the countryside, about 10miles out from town. So it gives me a hard time trying to get to places, the buses don't run by me either, so it's a taxi or uber most of the time which is costly. I also can't bring myself to delete everything, I keep trying but I just can't even if I want to, like I kept them on my phone, but I put it on my computer instead and got rid of them on my phone. But I still can't delete them :/
I'm sorry to hear that, but glad you're getting on well now. I get what you're saying completely. I am trying to still just throw myself back out there, I've even contacted people I had a few issues in the past with and just tried to clear everything up, I have begun to like this new girl, but we were friends during the relationship so automatically were still friends so it's a bit of a tough situation to get out off, but I do enjoy talking to her but I don't want to dump all of this on her, because were not that close, plus I'm sure she doesn't really want to hear about those things. I did branch out to some friends when we broke up but they just ignored me, they also tend to avoid me around sixth form so yeah haven't really spoken to them either.
Thank you for all your support guys, means a lot to me.
Original post by Kevin De Bruyne
This seems similar to how I've felt and honestly it's ****. It's just... very painful. I know.
I think just give up being friends with her because it's only going to unnecessarily be painful and crack on with life.
I think just give up being friends with her because it's only going to unnecessarily be painful and crack on with life.
I've stopped speaking to her and branched out to some old friends, and tried to arrange to meet up but they tend to say last minute, that they can't and make an
excuse. But they're just a bit too lazy to meet, even though I live no where near them and I come down to see them but they can't leave the house for 5 minutes :/
Original post by Jack22031994
Aww sorry man!
I can kind of relate to you as my girlfriend recently broke up with me.
Luckily I do have my best friend I can talk to about it but if I didnt have her, I wouldnt know how I'd cope She told me to have no contact with my ex for a while so I dont get reminders etc and then once Im okay start talking to my ex again as it started to hit me in the past week (broke up two months ago).
This is why it is important for your partner to not be your bestfriend and the complete centre of your life as if it you break up, youre left with nobody. You do need other good friends of both genders.
I can kind of relate to you as my girlfriend recently broke up with me.
Luckily I do have my best friend I can talk to about it but if I didnt have her, I wouldnt know how I'd cope
She told me to have no contact with my ex for a while so I dont get reminders etc and then once Im okay start talking to my ex again as it started to hit me in the past week (broke up two months ago).This is why it is important for your partner to not be your bestfriend and the complete centre of your life as if it you break up, youre left with nobody. You do need other good friends of both genders.
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you have support! I did make that mistake and became best friends with her, but I did have a few best friends, and one very close one, I could go back to her, but it would be a very awkward situation, we had a few arguments and stopped talking, oh and shes my ex's sister now, so yeah, were civil and do talk only in classes. It's a bit of an odd one.
Original post by Babeydeka123
I'm sorry to hear. Listen are you at uni or sixth form ?
If possible, join clubs and societies and get yourself out there again, meeting new people. When I was bored and lonely, I went on tinder and got myself talking to new people. That sorta helped. My point is, find something that's going to occupy your time. Whether it's working or doing something you haven't done in a long time. Learn to play an instrument. Etc
I know it's gonna be hard,but you're just going to have to accept that it's going to take time.
As for your ex, don't try and be friends with her, it's just going to make moving on worse. Delete any contact you have with her, even old pictures and start again. You can do this. Look how stronger you're gonna become once you get yourself out of this situation.
She is not worth it.
If possible, join clubs and societies and get yourself out there again, meeting new people. When I was bored and lonely, I went on tinder and got myself talking to new people. That sorta helped. My point is, find something that's going to occupy your time. Whether it's working or doing something you haven't done in a long time. Learn to play an instrument. Etc
I know it's gonna be hard,but you're just going to have to accept that it's going to take time.
As for your ex, don't try and be friends with her, it's just going to make moving on worse. Delete any contact you have with her, even old pictures and start again. You can do this. Look how stronger you're gonna become once you get yourself out of this situation.
She is not worth it.
I'm currently in sixth form, and I understand finding new hobbys, but it's hard for me to get around, because I live in the countryside, about 10miles out from town. So it gives me a hard time trying to get to places, the buses don't run by me either, so it's a taxi or uber most of the time which is costly. I also can't bring myself to delete everything, I keep trying but I just can't even if I want to, like I kept them on my phone, but I put it on my computer instead and got rid of them on my phone. But I still can't delete them :/
I'm sorry to hear that, but glad you're getting on well now. I get what you're saying completely. I am trying to still just throw myself back out there, I've even contacted people I had a few issues in the past with and just tried to clear everything up, I have begun to like this new girl, but we were friends during the relationship so automatically were still friends so it's a bit of a tough situation to get out off, but I do enjoy talking to her but I don't want to dump all of this on her, because were not that close, plus I'm sure she doesn't really want to hear about those things. I did branch out to some friends when we broke up but they just ignored me, they also tend to avoid me around sixth form so yeah haven't really spoken to them either.
Thank you for all your support guys, means a lot to me.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you have support! I did make that mistake and became best friends with her, but I did have a few best friends, and one very close one, I could go back to her, but it would be a very awkward situation, we had a few arguments and stopped talking, oh and shes my ex's sister now, so yeah, were civil and do talk only in classes. It's a bit of an odd one.
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you have support! I did make that mistake and became best friends with her, but I did have a few best friends, and one very close one, I could go back to her, but it would be a very awkward situation, we had a few arguments and stopped talking, oh and shes my ex's sister now, so yeah, were civil and do talk only in classes. It's a bit of an odd one.
No worries. I am too, not sure what id do without my bestie atm for support and stuff. (I can say 'bestie' as shes a girl lol).
I think i understand. You'll be okay though, time is the best healer. I know it would be easier with a support network oor a friend but it will get better.
Original post by Jack22031994
No worries. I am too, not sure what id do without my bestie atm for support and stuff. (I can say 'bestie' as shes a girl lol).
I think i understand. You'll be okay though, time is the best healer. I know it would be easier with a support network oor a friend but it will get better.
I think i understand. You'll be okay though, time is the best healer. I know it would be easier with a support network oor a friend but it will get better.
Thank you for understanding, it's help to get this off my chest, the people I do speak to around school that I don't see outside of school or anything, just aquintences keep saying that I reckon you two just need a break and you'll rekindle in a couple of months. But everytime someone says something like that it just slows me moving on down by far, it makes everything 10x harder. It's honestly just making me feel crap, and no matter what I do to take my mind of it, The amount of times I've just been sat down in a library trying to get on with my work and then getting distracted and tearing up is just countless. And everytime I pass her it kills me inside. :/
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for understanding, it's help to get this off my chest, the people I do speak to around school that I don't see outside of school or anything, just aquintences keep saying that I reckon you two just need a break and you'll rekindle in a couple of months. But everytime someone says something like that it just slows me moving on down by far, it makes everything 10x harder. It's honestly just making me feel crap, and no matter what I do to take my mind of it, The amount of times I've just been sat down in a library trying to get on with my work and then getting distracted and tearing up is just countless. And everytime I pass her it kills me inside. :/
Its okay!
yeah it will be harder if youre going to bump into each other regularly. My ex and I live about 100 miles from eachther so we arent going to bump into each other. Its got hard the past week though, as I saw my best friend last week (wh also lives about 100-150 miles apart, depending if she is at home or uni) and its the first time I discussed it with anyone in detail (she is my best friend and confidant) so feeling have kinda surfaced. I still wouldnt know what I would do without her to talk to though!.
I'm going to give you the same advice my best friend has given me. She told me to have no contact with my ex for a few months or so and remove reminders of her. (mute er on facebook, twitter etc), but also tell her you are and why incase she texts you or something. would advise to do that, but as you are likely to bump into her Im guessing, that'll be tricky to avoid but t is summer soon so hopefully, you wont bump into each other at all.
Hope that is helpful
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