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Breaking Up Watch

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    So today I tried to break up with my girlfriend. I sent her a message in the morning saying we need to talk and that I don't really want to see her anymore. I went to her place to talk and she started shouting at me and stuff and crying and i felt bad. We ended up not breaking up. We had a great time with the rest of the day and she said i love you i struggled but i said it back. We made out and stuff as usual but we were doing the same stuff that made me want to split up with her. All we ever do is sit in her room and make out and whenever i propose something else theres always an excuse not to or if i ask her what she wants to do. I have spoke to multiple friends, mix or girls and guys, and they all say I should end it. Even my parents agree. There are many other reasons. Another main one is shes my first girlfriend and i want to experience more. I wouldnt be saying that if i was head over heels for her but the truth is im not and we have been dating a few months now. When im around her im fine but when i leave i realise its not love i am feeling its lust.
    Anyway the whole point of this is to ask. How am I to go about breaking up with her?

    -note 1: in a flurry of guilt and hormones i promised id never break up with her after today

    -note 2: ive been trying to act a little detached on text so it doesnt surprise her so much

    -note 3: Is it bad to try and make her want to break up with me. It just hard to do that

    -note 4: she is very into me and it would be very bad if we broke up for example she has pictures of us on her walls and she is logged into my social media.
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    (Original post by jweir211)
    So today I tried to break up with my girlfriend. I sent her a message in the morning saying we need to talk and that I don't really want to see her anymore. I went to her place to talk and she started shouting at me and stuff and crying and i felt bad. We ended up not breaking up. We had a great time with the rest of the day and she said i love you i struggled but i said it back. We made out and stuff as usual but we were doing the same stuff that made me want to split up with her. All we ever do is sit in her room and make out and whenever i propose something else theres always an excuse not to or if i ask her what she wants to do. I have spoke to multiple friends, mix or girls and guys, and they all say I should end it. Even my parents agree. There are many other reasons. Another main one is shes my first girlfriend and i want to experience more. I wouldnt be saying that if i was head over heels for her but the truth is im not and we have been dating a few months now. When im around her im fine but when i leave i realise its not love i am feeling its lust.
    Anyway the whole point of this is to ask. How am I to go about breaking up with her?

    -note 1: in a flurry of guilt and hormones i promised id never break up with her after today

    -note 2: ive been trying to act a little detached on text so it doesnt surprise her so much

    -note 3: Is it bad to try and make her want to break up with me. It just hard to do that

    -note 4: she is very into me and it would be very bad if we broke up for example she has pictures of us on her walls and she is logged into my social media.

    You've got to pluck up the courage to break up, in the nicest possible way. It doesn't sound like she has done anything particularly wrong, she is just simply not the right girl for you. There is nothing wrong with not being ready for a serious relationship, by the sounds of it you have a lot more experiences to have before that time will come. It'd be worse for her if you let her believe you're into her and break up with her when she's even more attached to you.
    She will be heart broken, but she will eventually move on.

    Don't make it messy, if she ends up becoming bitter, be the better person and never rise up to it. You never know, in the future there could be space in both your lives to be friends again.
    Give her the space she needs to heal even if she doesn't want it.
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    (Original post by jweir211)
    You shouldn't feel emotionally blackmailed into staying with her. If you don't want to be in this relationship, both of you will suffer … and she'll end up hating you even more than she would if you'd just broken up. Breaking up with your first gf or bf is always hard but the other person will eventually get over it. You're going to break up with her one day, you might as well break up with her now before her feelings develop further.
    Distance yourself for a bit but don't do anything drastic to make her want to break up with you (e.g. Don't kiss another girl). If you don't love her, don't tell her because you're gonna give her a false sense of hope … just say "I know" or something like that (that's what I did when my bf said it to me but I wasn't ready yet)
    When you break up with her you should try to give her an explanation, but not in a negative way - don't tell her she's boring because she only wants to make out, just say you want to try other things or you don't think you're ready or whatever.
    Maybe switch your passwords for your social media so she can't access it too? x
    Good luck
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    (Original post by abc_123_)
    You shouldn't feel emotionally blackmailed into staying with her. If you don't want to be in this relationship, both of you will suffer … and she'll end up hating you even more than she would if you'd just broken up. Breaking up with your first gf or bf is always hard but the other person will eventually get over it. You're going to break up with her one day, you might as well break up with her now before her feelings develop further.
    Distance yourself for a bit but don't do anything drastic to make her want to break up with you (e.g. Don't kiss another girl). If you don't love her, don't tell her because you're gonna give her a false sense of hope … just say "I know" or something like that (that's what I did when my bf said it to me but I wasn't ready yet)
    When you break up with her you should try to give her an explanation, but not in a negative way - don't tell her she's boring because she only wants to make out, just say you want to try other things or you don't think you're ready or whatever.
    Maybe switch your passwords for your social media so she can't access it too? x
    Good luck
    I've changed passwords. I cant not say I love you back because she'll know something is up as i have been saying it. I think I have confused love with lust. I've been refraining from texting so often and told her she needs to come and see me if we are going to meet. That was another reason, she hasnt actually came to my area ive had to go to her everytime which is a half an hour train ride+10 min subway. I dont mind doing that its just i dont want to be the one doing the running around all the time.
    I feel that she is uncomfortable coming to see me as we come from different social and economic backgrounds. It doesnt bother me but i think it bothers her.
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    (Original post by jweir211)
    You need to tell her that you've confused love with lust then, rather than just keep telling her you love her.
    If she really loves you then she'd make an effort to see you, so I guess you'll see how much she cares by how often she visits (if at all) x
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    Honesty is the best policy

    If its not right for you then it will never go anywhere
    there is no easy way to go about it but talk it over and try and remain calm if she doesn't like what
    your saying
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    I have split up with her. I didn't text her this morning and I usually do. She asked why and I said I'm late. She said dont lead me on. So i said how i felt. And she didnt visit me tgats why we just dont cross paths and her life is very complicated.
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    I feel like an ******** now though
 
 
 
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