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Is this unreasonabele / what would you do?

Hey guys.

Here im looking for constructive comments , i know for a fact you wont like my style or what i wear / how i look etc but im not asking for comments about that.

Basically my GF is quite controlling on the way i look , she didnt used to be.

To put it short i wear scene / emo clothes.
I dont wear makeup anymore ( she never used to care when i did , but all of a sudden she got very controlling and took it all off me ) ( this isnt the problem here really , i dont want to wear it any more )

But whenever we go shopping or anything or i say "oh i want to buy this top" or that belt ETC , she always says things like " Your not having it , thats way too emo" and stuff like that

She dosn't even want me to wear my skinnies anymore.

Im living 2 lives at the moment , as whenever im not with her i wear my skinnies / tight tees ETC , but when im with her i have to wear baggy jeans and stuff.

Shes also VERY VERY strict on my hair...
I used to love my hair , and she did too , when i left it to go all curly and didnt do anything with it , or straightened it a tiny bit.

Now whenever i see a hairstyle i say i like or anything i want to buy , its 99.9% of the time a "No that looks ****"

I feel like i should say something but i don't know :s-smilie:

, does anyone think this is too controlling over me?

If it helps weve been going out just over a year and shes 18 and im 16 , thanks. xx

Reply 1

SoundDevastation

13

thats quite a big age gap for an older girl-younger guy relationship... maybe your style makes you look young?

Reply 2

evil groove

Ditch her. It is completely wrong of her to try to control you in this way.

Reply 3

simple_things

tell her how you feel. she should be with you for who you are. what you look like is a part of that because it's how you feel most comfortable. by all means change yourself a bit for her, but do it cos you want to do it for her not cos she wants you to.

Reply 4

Meliae

FluffyDinosaur

Hey guys.

Here im looking for constructive comments , i know for a fact you wont like my style or what i wear / how i look etc but im not asking for comments about that.

Basically my GF is quite controlling on the way i look , she didnt used to be.

To put it short i wear scene / emo clothes.
I dont wear makeup anymore ( she never used to care when i did , but all of a sudden she got very controlling and took it all off me ) ( this isnt the problem here really , i dont want to wear it any more )

But whenever we go shopping or anything or i say "oh i want to buy this top" or that belt ETC , she always says things like " Your not having it , thats way too emo" and stuff like that

She dosn't even want me to wear my skinnies anymore.

Im living 2 lives at the moment , as whenever im not with her i wear my skinnies / tight tees ETC , but when im with her i have to wear baggy jeans and stuff.

Shes also VERY VERY strict on my hair...
I used to love my hair , and she did too , when i left it to go all curly and didnt do anything with it , or straightened it a tiny bit.

Now whenever i see a hairstyle i say i like or anything i want to buy , its 99.9% of the time a "No that looks ****"

I feel like i should say something but i don't know :s-smilie:

, does anyone think this is too controlling over me?

If it helps weve been going out just over a year and shes 18 and im 16 , thanks. xx

You're not going to like this, but honestly, I think maybe she's had comments from other people about you being 'emo' (or turned against that style for some other reason) and is now embarrassed to be seen with you dressed like that. (From the other thread, maybe that's part of the reason why she doesn't want you at her party infront of all her friends?)

Still, she has no right to control what you wear or tell you you can't buy things that you like. Talk to her as she might not realise what she's doing. If that fails, maybe you've just grown apart and it's time for this relationship to end.

Reply 5

Overground

17

Try to stop dressing like a freak and you'll get a more normal girl :biggrin:

Reply 6

randomgirl

14

If she loved you she wouldn't care about your style.

Surely you dressed like this when you met and she knew you liked emo-esque clothes!?!

Have words and tell her you don't like the way she controls you and dictates what you can and cannot wear.

Reply 7

FluffyDinosaur

OP

she says the reason she dosn't want me wearing skinnies is because im too tall for them now apparantly ( im 6'5 ) :s-smilie:

Reply 8

FluffyDinosaur

OP

also i think that it didnt help that i have quite a feminine face :s-smilie:

And i have a girls parka from h&m ( the chavvy looking furry hood ones )
and i cut my hair myself and it made me look like i had a bob.

We went into sainsburys and as we walked up to the counter to buy something the woman behind the till said " how can i help you 2 lovely ladies "

Still , guess the only way to find out is talk to her. :s-smilie:

Reply 9

matt@internet

12

I can't believe you haven't ditched her for not letting you go to her 18th already.

Reply 10

erk

14

because 'emo' and 'scene' are phases, no offense mate but it's a young thing to do, and 100% you'll grow out of it. maybe she wants you to.

Reply 11

FluffyDinosaur

OP

matt , me and all my mates are invited now.
and erk , i know i will grow out of it but i dont know if i want to yet :s-smilie:

Reply 12

FluffyDinosaur

OP

its probably just an ego thing really , i feel comfortable in it and think it suits me well but i think its mainly an ego thing as whenever i walk past groups of girls in town / school i always hear them saying Oh my god hes so hot ETC. :s-smilie:

Reply 13

FluffyDinosaur

OP

i would even resort to wearing it all when im not with her and being normal with her , but she wont let me buy the **** , thats the problem. i wouldnt have a prob with wearing it not around her.

Reply 14

Profesh

20

FluffyDinosaur

also i think that it didnt help that i have quite a feminine face :s-smilie:

And i have a girls parka from h&m ( the chavvy looking furry hood ones )
and i cut my hair myself and it made me look like i had a bob.

We went into sainsburys and as we walked up to the counter to buy something the woman behind the till said " how can i help you 2 lovely ladies "

Still , guess the only way to find out is talk to her. :s-smilie:

Hahahahaha.

She's trying to get you to grow the **** up.

Reply 15

Overground

17

Um I don't mean to bruise your ego but when i walk round with an friend of mine who dresses emo, he frequently and sarcastically gets 'oi sexy!' comments from passing girls, who are almost always laughing at each other.

Reply 16

saramk

FluffyDinosaur

Hey guys.

Here im looking for constructive comments , i know for a fact you wont like my style or what i wear / how i look etc but im not asking for comments about that.

Basically my GF is quite controlling on the way i look , she didnt used to be.

To put it short i wear scene / emo clothes.
I dont wear makeup anymore ( she never used to care when i did , but all of a sudden she got very controlling and took it all off me ) ( this isnt the problem here really , i dont want to wear it any more )

But whenever we go shopping or anything or i say "oh i want to buy this top" or that belt ETC , she always says things like " Your not having it , thats way too emo" and stuff like that

She dosn't even want me to wear my skinnies anymore.

Im living 2 lives at the moment , as whenever im not with her i wear my skinnies / tight tees ETC , but when im with her i have to wear baggy jeans and stuff.

Shes also VERY VERY strict on my hair...
I used to love my hair , and she did too , when i left it to go all curly and didnt do anything with it , or straightened it a tiny bit.

Now whenever i see a hairstyle i say i like or anything i want to buy , its 99.9% of the time a "No that looks ****"

I feel like i should say something but i don't know :s-smilie:

, does anyone think this is too controlling over me?

If it helps weve been going out just over a year and shes 18 and im 16 , thanks. xx

I thought she dumped you?

Reply 17

FluffyDinosaur

OP

no :s

and overground its not sarcastically , i can tell when people are being sarcastic / joking really easily , and trust me its not , ive had about 25 girls trying to get me to leave my Gf for them in the last year :s-smilie:

Reply 18

FluffyDinosaur

OP

the only thing i can guess is that someone has said something to her and she listens to what they are saying and goes on their side tbh.

she used to let me wear makeup ( ok fair enough , i dont want to anymore )
But when i used to say " i wont be able to wear skinnies some day , itl look weird an adult wearing them " and she used to say " Lots of blokes / older people wear them , dont worry about it " now its gone the complete opposite way.

Reply 19

fatal

12

FluffyDinosaur

also i think that it didnt help that i have quite a feminine face :s-smilie:

And i have a girls parka from h&m ( the chavvy looking furry hood ones )
and i cut my hair myself and it made me look like i had a bob.

We went into sainsburys and as we walked up to the counter to buy something the woman behind the till said " how can i help you 2 lovely ladies "

Still , guess the only way to find out is talk to her. :s-smilie:

wow grow some balls.

Maybe the way to go is to try and be masculine or just admit you are gay.

Is this unreasonabele / what would you do?

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