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I get so angry
12
Right my mum isn't what I could call self-reliant, she can barely cook, clean or remember anything that is said to her. She try to make retaliations and comes out with jibberish, if I ever tell her that she's done something wrong she starts shouting about how she shouldn't take this from me and she deserves respect. Hmm lets see what she deserves respect for....
She doesn't clean the house
There is half rotten food in the fridge
There are things lying everywhere
She "accidentally" took the wrong medication on my 18th birthday making a spectacle out of herself and ruining what was already a strained celebration.
Just there now I was going through the post and I saw a form. It said very clearly what she had to do (it was from my school) yet she said she didn't know what it was! So I had to do it myself, it feels like I have to stand over her day and night to make sure she does something right. I tell her for example when I'm working and five minutes later shes like "so your working on Saturday", "NO Sunday".... "So Saturday then"
She just makes me so angry because shes like a child who expects to be let away with everything and never has bothered to learn independance. If I complain or lose my temper I get yelled at by the rest of my family cos apparently my mum needs my support!
Sorry needed to rant. I was up late was trying to sleep this morning and she brought a friend round (to clean for her) and kept barging into my room for no reason. So I'm a biut cranky.
She doesn't clean the house
There is half rotten food in the fridge
There are things lying everywhere
She "accidentally" took the wrong medication on my 18th birthday making a spectacle out of herself and ruining what was already a strained celebration.
Just there now I was going through the post and I saw a form. It said very clearly what she had to do (it was from my school) yet she said she didn't know what it was! So I had to do it myself, it feels like I have to stand over her day and night to make sure she does something right. I tell her for example when I'm working and five minutes later shes like "so your working on Saturday", "NO Sunday".... "So Saturday then"
She just makes me so angry because shes like a child who expects to be let away with everything and never has bothered to learn independance. If I complain or lose my temper I get yelled at by the rest of my family cos apparently my mum needs my support!
Sorry needed to rant. I was up late was trying to sleep this morning and she brought a friend round (to clean for her) and kept barging into my room for no reason. So I'm a biut cranky.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Does your mum have any physical or mental problems?
Reply 2
fatal
Sorry needed to rant. I was up late was trying to sleep this morning and she brought a friend round (to clean for her) and kept barging into my room for no reason. So I'm a biut cranky.
how strange.
Your mum sounds really hard to live with. Hopefully you can move out soon..?
I hope it gets better for you. Don't the rest of your family find it a strain?
Reply 3
Could be depression??
Reply 4
It sounds like your mum has problems. Is there no-one else who can help with household tasks? I know this may sound cold but as much I expect you love your mum you need to be able to live your own life and need support as much as her. Are you going to uni?
Reply 5
diamondgeezer
Could be depression??
It doesn't sound like depression to me. It sounds like some kind of disability. Which if she does have one, there is no reason to get angry at.
Reply 6
Tell her to take Kalms, there meant to be really good...
Reply 7
10
maybe she doesn't deserve respect for the things you listed but she suffered the pain of child birth to give you life, that's enough 
Reply 8
Have you had her speak to a doctor or have you spoke to anyone professional about it? If there is something wrong with her ther are groups out that designed to support you in taking care of her
Reply 9
17
hannah_dru
Which if she does have one, there is no reason to get angry at.
Reply 10
You definitely shouldn't have to support her. She has much greater obligations to you than you to her.
The best thing I can suggest is to try and keep out of her way as much as possible. Make a space for your own food in the fridge keep the areas of the house that you use most often tidy -- and ignore the rest. If she's too irresponsible to reply to letters from your school, that should be her problem and not yours. In general, just don't get involved with her, and wait it out until you move away.
The best thing I can suggest is to try and keep out of her way as much as possible. Make a space for your own food in the fridge keep the areas of the house that you use most often tidy -- and ignore the rest. If she's too irresponsible to reply to letters from your school, that should be her problem and not yours. In general, just don't get involved with her, and wait it out until you move away.
Reply 11
fatal
OP
12
she does have mental illness, as ive said before she is basically childlike due to what she has had to endure (no details but trust me it was hard for both of us). Plus recently her little sister (my aunt) died. Its just sometimes I get so annoyed at being the sensible one, I do pity her most of the time and am tolerant, but hey im not a saint!
Reply 12
15
hannah_dru
It doesn't sound like depression to me. It sounds like some kind of disability. Which if she does have one, there is no reason to get angry at.
mental problems? nahhh, she's from ballymena, they're all crazy there. i joke, i kid, i make banter.
i love people from ballymena. lovely town.
i'd get your mum checked out if i were you, mate. send her down to city hospital or antrim and get her poked and prodded. this kind of behaviour ain't normal, not even for annoying mothers.
this post was made before the OP's latest post just above.
after reading that, i can understand why you feel tired and stuff. have you ever thought of getting a minder in to help look after her?
Reply 13
fatal
she does have mental illness, as ive said before she is basically childlike due to what she has had to endure (no details but trust me it was hard for both of us). Plus recently her little sister (my aunt) died. Its just sometimes I get so annoyed at being the sensible one, I do pity her most of the time and am tolerant, but hey im not a saint!
Awww bless. Do you have to take care of her as well? Cos I can understand there as it'd be stressful and put on a lot of strain.
Reply 14
I understand where you're coming from, mate. Everyone needs to vent sometimes, especially if they've got no one they can talk to who can't listen without judging. Have you got any friends you can talk to who might understand, or who'd be willing to listen? It might help. 
Reply 15
fatal
OP
12
agh they all know what its like really... I calm down relatively quickly but when my mum doesnt have the sense to read a straight foreword (and important) letter from school I kinda lose it calm now btw
I have looked after her for a long time, it was me that told her that my aunt had died. somehow that moment really was the confirmation that I'll always be the adult Now I live with my nan, a few years ago I just got sick of it and left.
Yup I am from Ballymena (or thereabouts
), we are mainly crazy here!
Physically she is weak (COPD, agrophobia, severe depression, reliance on medication), the thing that gets me is that she has given up. Shes thinks she cant do something yet doesnt try.
calm now btw I have looked after her for a long time, it was me that told her that my aunt had died. somehow that moment really was the confirmation that I'll always be the adult
Now I live with my nan, a few years ago I just got sick of it and left. Yup I am from Ballymena (or thereabouts
), we are mainly crazy here!Physically she is weak (COPD, agrophobia, severe depression, reliance on medication), the thing that gets me is that she has given up. Shes thinks she cant do something yet doesnt try.
Reply 16
14
It can be difficult and it's not surprising you get angry but my grandmother used to be like this, and she has now been in a home for many years because she just can't look after herself. She was ill, had dementia etc. I don't know if this is anything like that or will turn into that but I just thought I'd say, because it's often not their fault. It's not nice, it's frustrating and my own mother would get annoyed, now it's upsetting because all that time she was ill and no-one figured it out until later on.
Reply 17
fatal
agh they all know what its like really... I calm down relatively quickly but when my mum doesnt have the sense to read a straight foreword (and important) letter from school I kinda lose it calm now btw
I have looked after her for a long time, it was me that told her that my aunt had died. somehow that moment really was the confirmation that I'll always be the adult Now I live with my nan, a few years ago I just got sick of it and left.
Yup I am from Ballymena (or thereabouts ), we are mainly crazy here!
Physically she is weak (COPD, agrophobia, severe depression, reliance on medication), the thing that gets me is that she has given up. Shes thinks she cant do something yet doesnt try.
calm now btw I have looked after her for a long time, it was me that told her that my aunt had died. somehow that moment really was the confirmation that I'll always be the adult
Now I live with my nan, a few years ago I just got sick of it and left. Yup I am from Ballymena (or thereabouts
), we are mainly crazy here!Physically she is weak (COPD, agrophobia, severe depression, reliance on medication), the thing that gets me is that she has given up. Shes thinks she cant do something yet doesnt try.
argh, i'm sorry to here about all that.
I can't imagine what it must be like for you, but do vent on TSR whenever you need to. That's what forums are for. Reply 18
is she a bit like stacy's mum on eastenders?
by the sounds of what you've both been through, she needs your support. it may be embarrasing at times, but remember, she is your mum, and you only get one
by the sounds of what you've both been through, she needs your support. it may be embarrasing at times, but remember, she is your mum, and you only get one
Reply 19
Hm, this is not cool
Is anyone gonna be there to take care of her after you leave for college? Maybe you should suggest she house at one of your relatives'. Or maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.
Is anyone gonna be there to take care of her after you leave for college? Maybe you should suggest she house at one of your relatives'. Or maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.
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