Feel so alone

You're not being unreasonable, but these things happen, you can't help it sometimes. Does your friend know how important this is for you? and how you could react without her?

Reply 2

OP

Spudder

You're not being unreasonable, but these things happen, you can't help it sometimes. Does your friend know how important this is for you? and how you could react without her?

Well I would cry a lot, perhaps feel like self harming again. My best friend does know that I get like that and there is no one else I can trust there!

I just don't see how she could do this to me, I thought she understood :frown:

Reply 3

surreal

6

Anonymous

Well I would cry a lot, perhaps feel like self harming again. My best friend does know that I get like that and there is no one else I can trust there!

I just don't see how she could do this to me, I thought she understood :frown:

You aren't your friends responsibility. Your friend won't always be there to hold your hand so you need to learn how to cope.

Reply 4

Well I wouldn't push her into going if she really wants to see her friend, because you might only drive her away. If you really think you will get ill at this party it might be best to give it a miss, there'll be others, right?

Reply 5

OP

Spudder

Well I wouldn't push her into going if she really wants to see her friend, because you might only drive her away. If you really think you will get ill at this party it might be best to give it a miss, there'll be others, right?

That's the thing. With my problems lately I haven't been able to go to many events...

I know I'm not her responsability. If she had made prior plans I would not expect her to drop them for me, but I wouldn't drop her to do anything! I thought she was the one person I could count on not to let me down and realising there is no one is really hurting :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous

That's the thing. With my problems lately I haven't been able to go to many events...

I know I'm not her responsability. If she had made prior plans I would not expect her to drop them for me, but I wouldn't drop her to do anything! I thought she was the one person I could count on not to let me down and realising there is no one is really hurting :frown:

Don't get into thinking that 'there is no-one'. Sure, she has let you down, but was she originally, or will eventually be apologetic? Just try to make up with her once you get the chance. And it sounds great that you wouldn't drop her to do anything, but you could maybe try to get on without her help sometimes.

Reply 7

dh00001

16

she is still there for you. she will be there again
is there no chance you could go with them?

Reply 8

Laus

It does seem insensitive. She wouldn't haven't cancelled on you if she thought you might have self-harmed though. I know she has hurt you but you can't really blame your best friend for causing you to self-harm. That is your choice... what you do does not have to follow on from how you feel. If you put that sort of guilt on people they will just push you further away. I know it's hard and I know self-harming seems like the only way out but that simply isn't true. It hasn't made you any happier and it doesn't make you feel any less depressed. Does it?

I've learnt that as much as we'd like to lean on people in life we can't become over-reliant on any one person. If we do we are likely to end up getting hurt. My best friend, who has moved away now, will never know how much of a difference she made just by being there. The reason I was so devastated when she left was because I became too reliant on her to make me feel better. Although our friendship was equal, it didn't make it any easier when she had to leave. Right, I can't remember what my point was!... um... ah yes, don't blame your friend but try to figure out why you feel so vulnerable on your own. Why would you want to go to a party where you only know/trust one person? Wouldn't you rather be spending your time with lots of lovely people?! i.e. people that you can trust to make you feel welcome? I think you need to talk this out with your friend. Tell her how you feel but don't say "because you weren't there I self-harmed" or "you made me feel really depressed" because that will just make her feel incredibly guilty. Like I said at the start, I doubt your friend did this to hurt you. She probably just didn't realise how much her being there would mean to you. Unfortunately things don't always go the way we want them to :frown:

. I hope you feel better soon. Please *try* not to self-harm, it isn't worth it.

Take care :hugs:

Reply 9

SoundDevastation

it does suck when people back out on things.. shes there for you other times right?

if you want some people to moan too, feel free to join the depression society.

Reply 10

OP

dh00001

she is still there for you. she will be there again
is there no chance you could go with them?

Her friend isn't going to the party
I have other friends but they wouldn't understand if I was down and wanted to go home and don't know how I behave when I get depressed. I can't imagine them supporting me and the thought of being left alone and upset doesn't appeal to me.
Chances are things will be fine and I will have fun but I don't know if I can or should take that chance

Reply 11

Anonymous

Her friend isn't going to the party
I have other friends but they wouldn't understand if I was down and wanted to go home and don't know how I behave when I get depressed. I can't imagine them supporting me and the thought of being left alone and upset doesn't appeal to me.
Chances are things will be fine and I will have fun but I don't know if I can or should take that chance

If you feel it's worth the risk then go and have fun, but you could make some precautions incase you get upset, contacts maybe?

Reply 12

dh00001

16

Anonymous

Her friend isn't going to the party
I have other friends but they wouldn't understand if I was down and wanted to go home and don't know how I behave when I get depressed. I can't imagine them supporting me and the thought of being left alone and upset doesn't appeal to me.
Chances are things will be fine and I will have fun but I don't know if I can or should take that chance

go and try. if you feel you have to leave blame illness from earlier. if you say early on you felt ill this morning but wanted to come it might be easier to excuse yourself.

Reply 13

Laus

Anonymous

That's the thing. With my problems lately I haven't been able to go to many events...

I know I'm not her responsability. If she had made prior plans I would not expect her to drop them for me, but I wouldn't drop her to do anything! I thought she was the one person I could count on not to let me down and realising there is no one is really hurting :frown:

But there will be more events for you to go to and I'm sure she'd be happy to come along.

You never know, one day in the future you may drop her because a friend or family member is coming to see you. It's just one of those things. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or doesn't want to be your friend anymore. You can't count on any one person. Sorry to sound pessimistic but it's true. We are only human and as much as we'd like to, we can't keep everyone happy. I'm sure your friend is still there for you :smile:

. Just meet up with her and have a nice chat. I'm sure things will blow over and there will be more opportunities to go out and have a good time.

Reply 14

OP

dh00001

go and try. if you feel you have to leave blame illness from earlier. if you say early on you felt ill this morning but wanted to come it might be easier to excuse yourself.

I can manage that.
Perhaps I should explain myself more...
I am trying to find out whether a person who is part of the major cause of me being ill is going. If they are I obviously won't go. However if they turn up without notice I will have serious problems

Reply 15

Laus

That's a good idea. If you do go, make sure you let a few people know that you might not stay for long. If this person doesn't turn up and you are having a good time then wahey! You've managed to have a great time without your best buddy...and you'll feel proud for having done it on your own. People don't often keep tabs on who is coming and going at a party. It's normally quite easy to just slip out... It's up to you. I wouldn't want you to go if you thought it highly likely that this person would turn up.

Gosh I do go on!!

Reply 16

dh00001

16

Anonymous

I can manage that.
Perhaps I should explain myself more...
I am trying to find out whether a person who is part of the major cause of me being ill is going. If they are I obviously won't go. However if they turn up without notice I will have serious problems

if they do try and stay and enjoy it. obviously iys easier said than done. but the moment you start to feel uncomfortable, excuse yourself and leave. go and have a good time :hugs:

Reply 17